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Funny satire stories about Depression

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Funny story: Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty

Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty

Tommy and Kathleen Morley of Simsbury, Connecticut, breathed an enormous sigh of relief when it was announced that Connecticut will repeal its death penalty statute. The Morleys' 17-year-old son, Rob, had been arrested over a dozen times on charges ranging from petty shoplifting to arson, and Rob's parents could tell that their depressed son was on a dangerous track toward committing more and more...

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Funny story: The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...

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Funny story: Age is a very high price to pay for maturity!

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity!

As I am getting older, more senile, and my health is deteriorating, I thought it would be nice to pass on some tips and advice for the youngsters while relating some of the happenings from my past, to help prepare them for the (if they live that long) approach of decrepitude. I have lived (using the word loosely) in Nottingham for most of my pathetic life, so I suppose this guide to life will b...

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Funny story: Goth Caught In Smirk Fiasco

Goth Caught In Smirk Fiasco

A teenage Goth was in hiding last night, after accidentally smirking at an episode of 'Take Me Out', the ITV Saturday evening dating show hosted by the 9'8" comedian Paddy McGuiness. Darren Gloom, 17 of Hastings, was staying with associates when t...

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Funny story: Magic Mushrooms Make Depression More Fun

Magic Mushrooms Make Depression More Fun

Following press releases yesterday from the American Medical Foundation regarding the test treatment of depression with hallucinogenic mushrooms, patients are claiming that they are not cured, but they do enjoy spending time with the talking pink soc...

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Funny story: Fish Attack!

Fish Attack!

A young fisherman in Bolivia committed suicide in the most awesome distressing way yesterday. He took his trusty two man boat (the SS Clinically Depressed) out onto a stretch of river that was known locally as "Wie sobberus do solim goeous" which rou...

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Funny story: 'Painful migraines linked to higher depression risk'--Really? says Harfold State College

'Painful migraines linked to higher depression risk'--Really? says Harfold State College

HARFOLD, Vt.--Students and adjunct instructors at Harfold State College reacted with disgust to a study released by the University of Calgary which states that painful migraines are linked to a higher chance of depressive episodes. The finding recent...

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Funny story: Foster Parents needed for Nottingham Boy, can you help?

Foster Parents needed for Nottingham Boy, can you help?

Advertised in the Nottingham Evening Post, this surely explains why we need to apply ourselves and provide the resources to cater for our elderly citizens? Nottingham Council's Adoption Agency Nottinghamshire Council provides a range of services to looked after children and aims to provide quality foster care placements to meet each child's individual needs in respect of race, culture, relig...

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Funny story: God's Answers For Depression

God's Answers For Depression

BOOK REVIEW God's Answers For Depression by Mindy Morganstern, Div.B. Yorma Linda Bible Press Some observers say that depression is an overdiagnosed epidemic run rampant. 9% of Americans suffer some form of depression (this figure includes manic, major, and disthymic-low-grade-depression.) More prescriptions are written for mood disorders than for any other condition, including high bloo...

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Funny story: Top ten tips for newly retired persons

Top ten tips for newly retired persons

Top Ten tips to the newly retired: 10. Relax for the first few days 9. Get out of bed at the same time as you did when working 8. Get washed every day and clean your teeth 7. Don't get into conversations with the tele-marketers 6. Don't start going to church if you didn't go when you were working. This will only depress you. 5. Get to know your neighbo...

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Funny story: Give me back the good old days - Ode to teaching

Give me back the good old days - Ode to teaching

Yesterday I said goodbye to the last class I will teach Yes I've retired but stuck it out - put the bit between my teeth. I started out in England in 1973 Three years of teachers' college there Was more than enough for me. My teaching job I did enjoy Each little girl, each little boy Some keen to learn,some keen to play. I enjoyed each and every day. And then I moved to Canada Wher...

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Funny story: Mexican drug cartels running out of room to store cash

Mexican drug cartels running out of room to store cash

MEXICO CITY, Mexico - A confidential source, Mr. X, with close ties to the Mexican drug cartels here, has revealed that it is becoming difficult to find new places to stuff bills. "The cartels blame QE2. They say it is resulting in too much money...

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Funny story: Say goodbye to the office restroom stall

Say goodbye to the office restroom stall

PHOENIX (PoooWatch) - According to commercial real estate mogul, Dr. Onzipay Amegay, the high-walled restroom stall is quickly becoming a rarity in the modern workplace. It's also becoming more common for executives to move out of their stalls and s*...

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Funny story: Biologists solve national debt problem

Biologists solve national debt problem

FORT DETRICK - Maryland Biologists, according to Dr. Ollarday, have developed a new vaccine that will spread with the next flu virus that will solve the national debt problem. The protein fragments that cause the brain to try to collect owed monies...

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Funny story: London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live

London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live

Spotted on the tattered roof of his upper flat in Dalston, Otto Franks, second generation German expatriate and local auto mechanic, reportedly a stable and friendly man by all neighbor accounts, had threatened to jump to his death after forgetting t...

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Funny story: Depression Sets In For Royal Wedding Followers

Depression Sets In For Royal Wedding Followers

A massive depression has set in for followers of the Royal wedding this Friday in London. Onlookers and spectators alike, some queuing for days along the planned route, have begun to accept the grim realisation that it will all be for a split seco...

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Funny story: Famous Poet Laureate Commits Suicide. Leaves Suicide Poem.

Famous Poet Laureate Commits Suicide. Leaves Suicide Poem.

Ivana Poker, famous Southern poet from Macon, Georgia was found hanged in her apartment this morning -- an apparent suicide. Friends and relatives have stated that Ms. Poker, winner of the 1986 Nobel Prize in Literature,had been depressed and di...

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