WASHINGTON DC - Washington politics weren't the only thing stinking to high heaven on Capitol Hill this week. Although at first it was hard to distinguish, lawmakers finally realized there was a pungent odor eminating from the floor of the Senate, a...
So says Frank N. Beans, a struggling California marijuana grower who will probably not be eligible to receive subsidies or crop insurance under the proposed farm bill now being considered in the U.S. House of Representatives. "They gonna cut $40 billion in food aid for the poor over the next ten years and give 'bout $15 billion a year to the big guys," he says. "I cain't 'ford no lobbyist nor...
Washington DC - The National Football League has volunteered its squad of on-field officials to "referee" Congress. In announcing the arrangement, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell noted that his army of referees, field judges, umpires, linesmen, an...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has told Vice-President Joe Biden that he is handing him the reins for a while as he will be flying out to Dubai, India to take a much needed vacation. He noted that the darn Republicans are giving him about seve...
Starbucks Coffee has begun a new marketing campaign billed as a way to call upon Congress to "come together" and stop bickering. From Wednesday to Friday, Starbucks will give away a free tall brewed coffee to any customer in the U.S. who buys anot...
Shocked citizens of "The Land of the Free and the Home of the Broke" woke up today to find that their entire government had absconded rather than face up to the global debt collectors that are expected to come knocking next Thursday. It seems that th...
According to a CNN poll released recently only 10% of Americans think Congress is doing a good job. This is an all time low rating for the Congress. There is an ongoing global manhunt to identify, isolate and quarantine these thirty million Americ...
Washington, DC - Come on down. It's time to play "America's Got Congress" --television's first ever legislative quiz show. That's the battle cry you'll hear every weekday afternoon, thanks to a new law that turned the Senate and the House of Repr...
It was a jubilant crowd yesterday afternoon as ninety GOP congressmen marched and frolicked into a press conference after effectively shutting down the government. They had just returned from Walter Reed Hospital where they had their noses surgically...
In a a startling development earlier today the House Republican majority passed a bill to shut the Senate down permanently. The resolution H RES 420 passed 233 - 200, strictly on party lines. While the House and the Senate have often been at odds...
Special to TPN - Following a meeting described as "amicable," Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and John Boehner (R-OH) announced that Congress will adjourn until after the 2016 election cycle. Pelosi opened a joint news conference by saying, "We both felt th...
After extensive research the American Amphibious Society has concluded that Newt Gingrich is not a member of the family Salamandridae, of order Caudata, otherwise commonly known as the newt. The groundbreaking research article was published in the...
Steely blue eyes ablaze with conviction, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R - Ohio) expresses the will of the American People. In virtually every speech, the phrase "the American People want" passes his righteous lips with prophetic certainty and...
This week GOP politicians, led by House Speaker Mr. Boehner and his conservative colleagues, will use a stunning new technique in an effort to further persuade congress and the American people on the wisdom of shutting down the government. An ent...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Amid renewed talk of more stringent universal background checks after the latest school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Wayne LaPierre was seen walking around the capitol, with his pockets bursting with congressmen...
Washington, D.C.- A group of Republican politicians led by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, introduced a bill today that would create a national registry of pre-approved names that parents could pick from when naming their newborn children.
WASHINGTON, D.C.--After tweeting, "Fuck it! My wife's toy poodle could get more done with these guys than I can!", the besieged Speaker of the House stepped down on Friday to allow his wife's toy poodle, Knuckles, to take over as Majority Leader.
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