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Funny story: GOP opera to be performed in special government shutdown drama

GOP opera to be performed in special government shutdown drama

This week GOP politicians, led by House Speaker Mr. Boehner and his conservative colleagues, will use a stunning new technique in an effort to further persuade congress and the American people on the wisdom of shutting down the government. An ent...

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Funny story: Wayne LaPierre: "Guns Don't Kill People. Crazy Fucks with Guns Kill People."

Wayne LaPierre: "Guns Don't Kill People. Crazy Fucks with Guns Kill People."

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Amid renewed talk of more stringent universal background checks after the latest school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Wayne LaPierre was seen walking around the capitol, with his pockets bursting with congressmen...

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Funny story: What's In a Name? Plenty, According to Republicans.

What's In a Name? Plenty, According to Republicans.

Washington, D.C.- A group of Republican politicians led by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, introduced a bill today that would create a national registry of pre-approved names that parents could pick from when naming their newborn children.

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Funny story: Boehner Steps Down as House Majority Leader; Appoints Wife's Toy Poodle in His Stead

Boehner Steps Down as House Majority Leader; Appoints Wife's Toy Poodle in His Stead

WASHINGTON, D.C.--After tweeting, "Fuck it! My wife's toy poodle could get more done with these guys than I can!", the besieged Speaker of the House stepped down on Friday to allow his wife's toy poodle, Knuckles, to take over as Majority Leader.

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Funny story: GOP accidentally repeals their own laws

GOP accidentally repeals their own laws

After John Boehner said that Congress "ought to be judged on how many laws that we repeal", fellow Republicans went wild writing bills to strike down existing laws. Some were overzealous and others were confused. After a few hours, GOP members had r...

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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi's Hairdresser Secretly Controls Congresswoman

Nancy Pelosi's Hairdresser Secretly Controls Congresswoman

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's regular morning visit to her exclusive hairdresser is apparently not just to maintain her famously stylish look. According to low level sources at All Seasons Salon in D.C, Representative Pelosi has been takin...

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Funny story: Senator's office calls for "bully services aid" and therapy

Senator's office calls for "bully services aid" and therapy

Reported by an assistant (requesting anonymity) for Senator Charles Schumer, his office is currently seeking "bully services aid" and therapy following Russia's actions with Mr. Snowden. Speaking on Face the Nation yesterday, Mr. Schumer proclaime...

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Funny story: House Republicans to Propose a Conceal and Carry Law for Inside the Capitol

House Republicans to Propose a Conceal and Carry Law for Inside the Capitol

With Congress's approval rating now lower than that of a cockroach (at about 9%), and with Republican House members' approval even lower (approaching that of a maggot), GOP lawmakers in the House have decided to pass a Conceal and Carry Law that woul...

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Funny story: Congress: Thanks for making this about race

Congress: Thanks for making this about race

WASHINGTON D.C. In the wake of the much-televised George Zimmerman trial, with echoes of loud protests over the verdict audible from the street, another sound can be heard inside the congressional chambers: the clinking of champagne glasses. Foll...

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Funny story: 'Cruz' Control Needed, Says Immigration Reform Advocate

'Cruz' Control Needed, Says Immigration Reform Advocate

Lester Montoya, speaking for the group Rational Law Reform, said yesterday that Texas Senator Ted Cruz has gone too far in his latest proposed amendment to the senate bill designed to overhaul immigration policy in the U.S. The amendment would req...

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Funny story: NRA: "Getting shot with bullets can be good for your health"

NRA: "Getting shot with bullets can be good for your health"

Yet another absolutely inane comment coming from an NRA leader has sparked outrage among the United States' citizenry. Today, NRA Deputy of Bullets Czar Randy "Bubba" Beaufordt issued a statement that stated getting hit by bullets "can actually be go...

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Funny story: Budget cuts: Obama recommends dog meat for school menus

Budget cuts: Obama recommends dog meat for school menus

WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has recommended adding dog meat to America's school lunch menus and military chow halls. As a child, the president was force-fed Dalmatian steaks that his Indonesian step-and-fetchit transsexual "father" La...

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Funny story: PETA Wants To Ban Animal Crackers

PETA Wants To Ban Animal Crackers

NORFOLK, Virginia - The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have gone to Congress to state their case regarding the wanton ingesting of animal crackers throughout America. PETA's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter told the news media that...

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Funny story: Congress approves 'Rights Rationing' to balance liberty and security

Congress approves 'Rights Rationing' to balance liberty and security

Washington DC -- With the nation trembling from recent threats by film critics, pressure cooker salesmen, wise guy journalists and wanna-be movie stars, enforcement agencies are demanding greater authority to monitor and control America. Meanwhile...

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Funny story: Amid Recent Horror, Louisiana to Have as Many Magazine Clips as Issues of People Magazine

Amid Recent Horror, Louisiana to Have as Many Magazine Clips as Issues of People Magazine

NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Reports out of Baton Rouge confirm the state capital's effort to "intensify" gun violence across the state of Louisiana by aiming to obtain an equal ratio of magazine clips to issues of People Weekly inside medical facilities, defe...

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Funny story: Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in

Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in

Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration's top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States. In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a plan to imprison every American...

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Funny story: Congress Considering Legislation to Require Future Nudity In All of Jennifer Lawrence's Films

Congress Considering Legislation to Require Future Nudity In All of Jennifer Lawrence's Films

WASHINGTON, DC - Tired of endless titillation leading to little or no payoff, Congressional representatives all but declared war on Hollywood this week with Bill HR-26969, a sweeping measure which would require popular HUNGER GAMES actress Jennif...

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