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Funny satire stories about Canada

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Funny story: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Illegally Reproducing Keys To The City

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Illegally Reproducing Keys To The City

(TORONTO,ON) Admitted crack user and illicit drug purchaser, Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto, has been found illegally reproducing the Keys to the City and selling them on Ebay to fund his drug use. In a tumultuous city council meeting which saw him wr...

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Funny story: Another Mayor "Crackin" Up

Another Mayor "Crackin" Up

TORONTO, ON - The mayor of Toronto, ON has admitted recently to smoking crack, but is refusing to resign his position. "How can I afford to give this job up? Do you realize how expensive a CRACK habit is?" states the mayor. Locals are working...

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Funny story: Canada Reports That Moose Rustling Has Reached Epidemic Proportions

Canada Reports That Moose Rustling Has Reached Epidemic Proportions

CALGARY, Alberta - The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have just informed the Canadian public that moose rustling has gotten way out of hand and something has got to be done. Captain Jacques Renfrew with the RCMP said that just in the month of Augus...

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Funny story: Obama threatens missile strike on Canada for poisonous frogs cull

Obama threatens missile strike on Canada for poisonous frogs cull

He's running out of places to attack. President Obama fresh from his entente uncordiale with Russian premier Poutine has turned his guns on another non-nukulur ally. The Peas Prize winner has now threatened missile strikes on Canada for "...blatantl...

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Funny story: Bloopers

Bloopers

Although not as expensive to produce and not usually considered as "good" as motion pictures, television (TV) shows are still, by everyone's standards except, perhaps, those of Bill Gates, costly and, therefore, even their goofs, flubs, fuckups, boners, and bloopers, as mistakes by cast and crew are called (except when they're called outtakes or, in England, "a comedy of errors"), are often preser...

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Funny story: The true story of Marvel Comics' Wolverine

The true story of Marvel Comics' Wolverine

Wolverine was born in Canada. He has no mother; his father, Marvel artist Len Wein, is thought to have created him through masturbation, much as the ancient Greeks created the gods who ruled them. In the comic books, however, Wolverine's origin is attributed to the Canadian government (as if the Canucks' scientists were capable of creating anything akin to sheer damn manliness). Soon after his...

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Funny story: Canada's new phunny munny

Canada's new phunny munny

OTTAWA, MANITOBA - Pranksters who work for the Bank of Canada shocked and amused citizens of the northernmost North American Continent nation by infusing the green ink with which its banknotes are printed with lysergic acid dyethylmiode (LSD or, depe...

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Funny story: Canada To Sell 80,000 Moose To Cuba

Canada To Sell 80,000 Moose To Cuba

SASKATCHENWAN, Saskatoon - The government of Canada has announced that it has just signed a deal with Cuba to ship 80,000 moose to the island country. Canadian spokesperson Pierre Hors D'oeuvres stated that the moose will be rounded up by furlough...

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Funny story: World Baseball Classic: Canada Wins The Game With Mexico - The Brawl Ends In A Tie

World Baseball Classic: Canada Wins The Game With Mexico - The Brawl Ends In A Tie

GOODYEAR, Arizona - The World Baseball Classic game between Canada and Mexico went from a baseball game to a hockey game in the ninth inning. Canada won the game 10-3, but the full-scale free-for-all on the field ended in a tie. The bench empty...

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Funny story: With Defense Cuts Looming, Congress Considers Declaring War on Canada Because "It's Closer Than Afghanistan."

With Defense Cuts Looming, Congress Considers Declaring War on Canada Because "It's Closer Than Afghanistan."

With just two days remaining before $85 billion is cut from the federal budget, members of Congress said today they're introducing measures to lessen the impacts of the sequester. According to Rep. Rigley Higspirt, one proposal being discussed is...

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Funny story: Canada Complains US Wind Farms Are Blowing Birds Over the Border

Canada Complains US Wind Farms Are Blowing Birds Over the Border

Canadian officials today lodged a formal complaint with the US that wind turbines near the border are blowing too many birds across the border into Canada. Mervin Thackenschwartz, a Canadian government spokesman, complained that while most Canadians...

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Funny story: Americans Flee to Canada

Americans Flee to Canada

With the prospect of plunging off the fiscal cliff looming ever closer, a small trickle of Americans fleeing to Canada has increased into a somewhat larger trickle. Terrified at the prospect of an economic collapse and the end of life as we know i...

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Funny story: Mexico And Canada To Invade United States Gathering Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Mexico And Canada To Invade United States Gathering Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Mexico and Canada have announced plans to invade the U.S. in search of weapons of mass destruction, or as the U.S. called them when President Bush invaded Iraq: WMD. Canada and Mexico will begin the invasion on the same day moving in a pincer fashion...

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Funny story: Monkey spotted shopping in Ikea

Monkey spotted shopping in Ikea

A small monkey wearing a sheepskin coat was spotted shopping in a branch of Ikea in Toronto. Shoppers were surprised and shocked by the sight. "It was just a small monkey. I thought at first it was a little person in a mask." Mario Tomlin said. '...

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Funny story: Comedian takes over Bank of England

Comedian takes over Bank of England

It has been confirmed that a Comedian will replace Tubbs from the League of Gentlemen-lookalike Mervyn King as the Governor of the Bank of England. In a surprise move the Chancellor announced the unknown Comedian as the new head, before adding tha...

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Funny story: Gnomes of Zurich rattled at new Bank of England Governor appointment

Gnomes of Zurich rattled at new Bank of England Governor appointment

New York - "In central banking stature terms the man's a midget," the CEO of First Moneylaundering Gnomes of Zurich Bank [USA] Inc said today as news of Mark Carney's appointment broke, "probably only got the Canadian job for keeping his mouth shut a...

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Funny story: My life as a man #26

My life as a man #26

Canadian girls ain't at all easy! I've told you readers that when I was a kid growing up in the South, we often sat on the side of the main road through town and sold apple cider, apple brandy, and boiled peanuts to the tourists travelling through West Virginia in route to Florida. Making note of the license plates on the tourist cars was always a fun way to pass the time. Of all the nort...

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