Presidential hopeful, Mitt 'The Gaffe-Man' Romney has stuck his foot in his mouth again. Speaking to a group of people paying $50,000 a plate (and $2 for tips) at a fund raising dinner, Romney said that 47 % of Americans are dependent on the gover...
BOSTON (ABSNN) - Republican Presiential nominee Mitt Romney, hard on the heels of his foreign policy coup of last week, defended his stand that Barack Obama is a Muslim apologist. And he managed to alienate a few more government workers in the barga...
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
Republican Mitt Romney has abdicated his candidacy for President. "I just can't keep up the lies," he told reporters at a hastily-gathered cadre of news reporters at his palatial Hamptons estate. "I have absolutely no idea what I'd do as Presid...
OUTERFUCKINGSPACE MA (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney attacked President Obama's Cairo Embassy personnel who stated that the Anti-Muslim media blitz (that movie-that Florida preacher who burned the Koran) was causing hurt feeling...
TORNADO WV (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama revealed his "abnormal fear of clowns," a fear that he's suffered since early childhood. The President revealed this in a Beer Pong interview with Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. at the Jesuit Convent of the Que...
While watching the Democratic National Convention yesterday, local resident Artye McDaniels, 103, was confused to find that Barack Obama is the president of the United States. "Obama is president, ya say?" A perplexed McDaniels said. "That can't...
American voters who are already totally bored with the Presidential campaign have called on 82 year old kookball actor Clint Eastwood to 'make Romney disappear' after his bizarre 'conversation' with an empty chair that he thought was President Obama...
Charlotte NC: Former President Bill Clinton gave the nomination speech at the 2012 Democratic National Convention (DNC) for President Obama to head the ticket for a second term bid. The evening was full of many surprises. The Clinton wing (moderat...
New York - The reclusive oil tycoons own land and mining rights to a chunk of California crude that easily dwarfs Saudi Arabia's Ghawar Field, regarded by many as the largest conventional oil field in the entire world. This weekend they're sitting...
After years of excuses from the White House regarding apparent misspeaking's from the administrations second in command. The White House press secretary Jay Carney announced that V.P. Joe Biden's recent remarks about "stringing them up" was a side ef...
Alarmed due to developments with Congressman Akin's recent comments on a woman's biological response to "legitimate" rape, GOP representatives are distancing themselves from Akin and suggesting he retire from politics. Stepping into the controversy w...
Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, who has faced pressure from Democrats to make public his federal tax returns from the past ten years, finally revealed that the reason for his refusal to release any returns from prior to 2010 is that he n...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Missouri Congressman and Senate candidate Todd Akin's comment that pregnancy would not occur in a "legitimate rape" has been met with widespread condemnation from Democrats and Republicans, prompting speculation Akin's Senate run is...
WASHINGTON, DC - On Sunday, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney criticized the current punishment system and announced that he will revolutionize the death penalty by instituting a new system if elected. "Public executions are the answer...
LINCOLN, MA-Sources confirmed early Wednesday that area man Charles Banway discovered that presumptive Republican Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan and Texas Congressman Ron Paul were not related, despite vaguely similar names and near-identical...
Washington DC: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) announced on the Senate floor "the word is out" that a high placed White House source had confided she knew where President Obama's birth, passport and Harvard Law School records were hidden.
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