In the most expensive and extensive use of psychiatry in an election campaign, the Democratic Party has sent 1,000,000 psychiatrists across America to help white voters overcome that little racist voice they all still harbor in their otherwise tolera...
Based on the tallies from electric voting machines, Senator John McCain of Arizona has been called as the winner in the US elections. This will come as a huge surprise to most Americas, as polls indicated that Senator Barack Obama was going to wi...
Sarah Doolittle? - With the final days of Presidential campaigning drawing to an end and the Republican party behind in the polls, it can now be questioned by political pundits whether Sarah Palin was a hope or a hinderance to the process. As both McCain and Palin campaigned separately in the against odds campaign. Palin criss crossed the battleground plains states and McCain headed to Kenn...
CNN has learned that Sarah Palin, notified of the perjury conviction of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, has begun seeking input on how to dump McCain and install Stevens onto the Republican Presidential ticket. Faxes, e-mails, and phone calls have been...
CNN has confirmed that the latest Fox, New York Times, and MSNBC polls indicate that if the Presidential election were held tomorrow, anywhere from 63-82% of the voting public would NOT vote for either the Obama-Biden or the McCain-Palin ticket.
CHICKENBONE LAKE, Michigan - Senator John McCain's campaign bus has the slogan the 'Straight Talk Express' painted on the sides. One of his campaign assistants, Champy Carfino said that the name was actually suggested by a nine-year-old boy who l...
Colorado - John McCain today announced his decision to end his campaign and throw his support behind Barack Obama (D-IL). "After a tireless campaign, I can no longer deny the media and the pollsters. I have no chance to win this thing, therefor...
Field reporters from the Howard Stern show discovered strong support for McCain's policies and VP choice in Harlem. To the surprise of many, it appears Obama supporters there, have mixed views on these basic GOP issues. Interviewing 'voters on the...
After General Colin Powell, a prominent conservative political figure, nominated Barack Obama for the presidency of the United States of America, something came over America's Independent Party nominee Alan Keyes. Though Keyes ran against Barack Obam...
Polyandry, CA - In an historic deal struck days before the upcoming presidential vote, candidates Barack Obama and John McCain have brokered a power sharing plan that would avert either of them loosing the election. "It's quite simple really," ex...
Seattle, Washington - ATM customers across the country are reporting banking errors to their branch managers, complaining that every time they withdraw cash at the automated teller machine, they get a prerecorded message thanking them for casting the...
Washington, D.C. - A political pundit today released several computer-based scenarios in which he claims to predict how Barack Obama could still plausibly lose the presidential election come November 4, despite his double-digit lead in the polls agai...
Many grade schools have begun the new school year with a new chapter in their standard textbook enthusiastically reflecting the upcoming expected new Presidential administration. Here are samples from the new chapter: HISTORY Section: Obama sez: History doesn't matter. I'm going to change it anyway. Don't bother learning about all that old stuff because it's all Euro-centric to begin w...
Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin has angered some sections of US society after it was revealed that, in the two months since August, she has spent an astronomical amount of Party money on her image upgrade - including $92,000 on a handbag and matc...
Washington - Law enforcement officials set up road blocks in areas of the country where heavy Democratic voting was predicted during the two elections of 2000 and 2004 and are ready to do it again this year. Dempsey Dumpster is the president of th...
Iditarod, Alaska - Oblivious to the impending avalanche predicted for November 4th, John McCain trudged on through the drifts of his campaign today. Delirious and frost-bitten, McCain rambled, "I love being the underdog. You know, every time that I'v...
Philadelphia PA-- Voters going to polling stations next month may be in for some surprises. Homeland Insecurity has installed electronic touch pads equipped with the latest in nanotechnology and computer software. Many voters may wish to bring an a...
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