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Funny satire stories about Sex

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Funny story: Frightening impotency

Frightening impotency

Some psychologists suggest fear is innate; some say it is learned. Whatever. Fear is out there shared by all members of the animal kingdom. If fear is innate, then, it must be active in our DNA as a safety measure. Now, if fear is innate, then, why in other parts of the world, say, Hyde Park, birds would perch on people's heads, while somewhere else, birds, at the sight of a man, send a danger...

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Funny story: Last Of The Summer Wine - Howard And Marina Finally Get It On

Last Of The Summer Wine - Howard And Marina Finally Get It On

Last Of The Summer Wine stalwarts, Howard and Marina finally got jiggy with it and got it on together on a wet and windy day in West Yorkshire. The couple have had several dozen attempts at sexual congress but hitherto have always been thwarted by...

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Funny story: Seattle Washington - Zombies confirm human sex drive more than the need for food

Seattle Washington - Zombies confirm human sex drive more than the need for food

The World News has confirmed that the dead are systematically coming back to life. But that's not the kicker. Reports from all over the globe are confirming that they are not after brains at all but the legs of the living. One doctor in New York f...

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Funny story: Abstinence Program Giving Chimps Blue Balls

Abstinence Program Giving Chimps Blue Balls

Seattle, Washington - A new government program designed to encourage abstinence among primates has spread the dreaded teenage ailment "Blue balls" to chimps. The World Wildlife Fund, the organization originally pushing for the program has now admitte...

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Funny story: British Teenie Humpers Hit The Mark 50% More than their Elders

British Teenie Humpers Hit The Mark 50% More than their Elders

No one quite comprehends how it is that a 13 year old boy from Hackneye can fertilze his 15 year old squeeze and mature and well developed British males can't get their fertile and very feminine fully grown ladies with child. Puritan party lead...

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Funny story: 88-Year-Old Woman Billed Over $1200 For Sex Calls

88-Year-Old Woman Billed Over $1200 For Sex Calls

In Nashville, Tennessee the family of an 88-year-old woman who was billed for over $1,200 in phone sex calls suspects identify theft. Lullabelle Riley recently received a credit card bill addressed to her husband, Lonas T., who died nearly 50 yea...

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Funny story: Tax compensated as price of Viagra falls

Tax compensated as price of Viagra falls

Seventeen minutes ago Barack Obama's team of advisers completed their research on Internet usage. By refocussing the cameras hidden in every lap top, they have discovered that most people's primary daily exercise is masturbation while scrutinising po...

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Funny story: Celebrity discovers pot plants having intercourse

Celebrity discovers pot plants having intercourse

In a titanic effort to write a popular story, the infamous Queen Mary Jane Screws analysed the statistics and discovered that people's minds are occupied with celebrities, sex, and pot. She therefore resolved to research and report on the real truth...

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Funny story: A Love Story

A Love Story

I had reason to go up into the attic a couple of days ago, and as I did so I stumbled upon the strangest thing. There was a large box there which I hadn't noticed before. Intrigued somewhat, I opened the box. Within, I discovered some shoes, a couple of tee shirts, and a manuscript, all neatly typed out on A4 paper. Not being able to help myself, I started to read it. This is what i...

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Funny story: Strict New Rules Introduced for Rail Passengers

Strict New Rules Introduced for Rail Passengers

Passionate commuters saying their goodbyes will no longer be able to do so at Warrington Bank Quay Station, after management instituted a new stricter policy. Fed up with trains being delayed, managers have now issued a 'No Shagging' rule on all p...

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Funny story: Man With World's Largest Frying Pan And Woman With World's Largest Maris Piper Make Heavenly Chips

Man With World's Largest Frying Pan And Woman With World's Largest Maris Piper Make Heavenly Chips

Twas a journalist's dream. Today, the man with the world's largest frying pan met the woman with the world's largest Maris Piper, and the results were HOT! HOT! HOT! Albie There, owner of the world's only six-foot frying pan met up with Yes Yes Oh...

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Funny story: Porn star Stormy Daniels vows to 'join all the other whores in the Senate'

Porn star Stormy Daniels vows to 'join all the other whores in the Senate'

Washington AC/DC - (Horny Ass Mess): Enormous-bosomed peroxide porn star Stormy Daniels has vowed to 'join all the other whores in the Senate' by challenging David Ritter for the Louisiana Senator's seat. "My hot ass is a lot perkier than that abs...

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Funny story: Married Couple Use "Dying Raccoon" Position

Married Couple Use "Dying Raccoon" Position

In January, a North Carolina couple were given sanctions by a local city council because their loud, long sex sessions disturbed neighbors on two different floors of their apartment building. Robert and Annabelle Bratsky were issued a noise abate...

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Funny story: Manhattan madam snitches on Elliot Spitzer's 'S&M waterboarding' shenanigans

Manhattan madam snitches on Elliot Spitzer's 'S&M waterboarding' shenanigans

New York - (Sordid Ass Mess): A pathetic, sad-assed rough-end of the market shagger 'addicted to Anal (sic) Nitrate' and his own twist on S&M waterboarding. That's Manhattan madam Kristin Davis' insight into top former client Elliot Spitzer,...

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Funny story: 10 Ways To Please The Woman In Your Life - A Geezer's Guide

10 Ways To Please The Woman In Your Life - A Geezer's Guide

Just in case you guys were wondering, here are ten ways GUARANTEED to please your significant other. 1- Tell her she's gorgeous, even first thing in the morning when she looks like a puffy eyed war veteran. 2 - Tell her dinner was delicious, even if it was a heap of shit with gravy. Tell her it was lovely. 3 - When you're about to go out, tell her that she looks so ravishiing that you'd r...

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Funny story: Mandelson pens "Sex crazed Politics"

Mandelson pens "Sex crazed Politics"

Peter Mandelson has taken up the pen and written his own spicy sexy novel. The novel which is due for release later year called "Sex crazed Politics" is about the sex charged happenings behind the scenes in the Houses of Parliament. The story...

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Funny story: Lap-Dancing Not Sexually Stimulating

Lap-Dancing Not Sexually Stimulating

According to an article in The Guardian, as the British government was poised last November to re-classify lap-dancing clubs from "entertainment" to "sexual encounter establishments" (imposing tougher licensing standards), the industry's trade associ...

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