Kenny Hartwell of Nashville, Tennessee, recently decided to abandon his preconceived notions about what his life should be like and revel in the absurdity of his existence. “It's going well,” said Kenny of his new approach to life. “For instance,...
Brent Hargrave of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was attempting to kill time at his boring office job when time rallied and, in a valiant show of self-defense, slayed the project manager. “I don't think he even saw it coming,” said Hargrave's former co-worker,...
Portland. A self-described aimless drifter has turned his lifestyle into a lucrative career. No kidding. This is not a rags to riches story by virtue of hard work or perseverance or anything like that. It is a story that baffles the mind and l...
There have been calls this morning for people crap at their jobs to become the highest earners at their respective companies. After the BBC released it's 'higher earner' document this morning, there have been questions asked why professional ginge...
Marcus Travins, a 10th grade student at Wilmot High School in North Carolina, reportedly promised that he would stop procrastinating later this year. He explains "I have a problem with pushing important assignments aside and eventually doing them...
They got the idea for this when they recently saw an airliner get passengers off a plane to make room for airline employees who needed transport to a work destination. "Yes," one employee shouted, continuing, "Up with employees, down with the cus...
Angry office workers from Forresters Business Park are set to go on strike this Friday in protest at restricted water cooler usage at their building. The one-day strike on March 8 is the first of a programme of action by the Public and Commercial...
1. Showing up there, unless you want to or need to. 2. Allowing yourself to be pissed upon from a great height by your boss. He/she is not your parent. He/ she doesn't know you. They only imagine they do. That is how they got to be boss in the first place. Like David Cameron got to be PM. 'Knows' everybody, does David. 3. Misunderstanding the true nature of the...
A recent scientific study has found that one of the most effective ways of getting a raise or promotion in work is to "constantly refer to yourself in the third person". Scientists believe this method can re-enforce in other people's mind that y...
I would love to be able to engage with the young people in my office. They always seem to be having so much fun and glow with the enthusiastic energy of a supernova. At times it's like watching an advert for the upswing of a bipolar disorder. They constantly chatter about something really exciting they have done, or are going to do. Or where they went the previous night, or are going tonig...
This week, The Wall Street Journal [WSJ] reported that to earn a bigger paycheck, "you will need to do more than just a top rate job." According to the WSJ, "an effective strategy for obtaining a raise also requires a top rate performance from your s...
Lucas Mattingly, a man on the street, says that the United States economy has gone to S*it. "I blame the President and the continent", he told the people who would stop and listen. He also happened to buttonhole Tom Thatcher, reporter at large (40...
"You go to all these motivational speeches and they get you all stirred up and ready to go after your companys competition and what happens after that?" "They arrest you." This was the complaint of George Madison as he gave a reporter the lowdo...
More companies are encouraging employees to work at home because of the incredible cost savings. Even Yahoo is rethinking their 2013 demand for employees to work in the offices. This change has come about after companies began reviewing the costs...
All the following jobs are available and some pay well, if you are really desperate for work: 1. Stool Examiner for Pin Worms 2. Towel Distributor at Geriatric Sauna. 3. Referees needed for wild boar fights 4. Ear wax collector for the Rich and Nutty 5. Gas Station bathroom cleaner at a chain of Stop & Plops. (Mask furnished) 6. Traveling Foot Stool for Michael Moore.
OMAHA, NE - A zookeeper in Omaha, NE was recently placed on indefinite work suspension due to disciplinary measures he was caught taking with primate residents at a local zoo. "I felt that bobo, in particular, was being selfish, hoarding food, and...
Nuts HOLLYWOOD, CA - Pamela Partypocket is the moniker she goes by in the porn biz. She's been in the business for just over two years. In a recent interview she revealed that the career is starting to get to her mentally and emotionally. "I fee...
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