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Funny satire stories about drinking

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Funny story: Parliament Refuses to Punish England's drunken majority

Parliament Refuses to Punish England's drunken majority

The United Kingdom's Chief medical Officer is worried about the increasing consumption of booze in Britain. Sir T. Temperance Totaller proposes that the cost of getting blottoed be doubled in the UK. Parliamentarians yelled and screamed simult...

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Funny story: Lib Dems call for ban on OAP drinking

Lib Dems call for ban on OAP drinking

The discovery that soaring numbers of elderly people are being treated on the NHS for alcohol related illnesses has led to calls for a ban on the sale of alcohol to over-65s. "It's disgraceful that large numbers of OAPs are consuming vast amounts...

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Funny story: Thousands Of Scots Heading South Of The Border

Thousands Of Scots Heading South Of The Border

Scotland could soon be deserted following the announcement by their government to raise the price of alcohol. Fears that the national pastime of drinking and fighting might become obsolete has forced action. Protesters and alcoholics marched over the...

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Funny story: Oz and James Visit Russia

Oz and James Visit Russia

Oz Clarke and James May have unveiled plans for their new series. So far the pair have got pissed at the license payers expense in France, the USA and Britain. Now they are on their way to Russia. In 'Oz and James Drink Toilet Cleaner And Die In A...

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Funny story: 15 Year Old Lancashire Youth Admits To Having Smoked Since The Age Of Two

15 Year Old Lancashire Youth Admits To Having Smoked Since The Age Of Two

Hot on the heels of a Welsh woman's suspended prison sentence on charges of allowing a three year old to smoke cigarettes, which amounted to child abuse, a Lancashire youth contacted TheSpoof.com today. Ovenchips Slackthwaite, 15, of Burnley openl...

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Funny story: PM Reacts to Increased Thefts of Livers: Bans Happy Hours!

PM Reacts to Increased Thefts of Livers: Bans Happy Hours!

London/ Mortuary Times - Reacting to a recent upturn in the forcible removal of livers from unsuspecting UK tourists, PM Gordon Brown was forced to act. The PM had been accused of turning "a blind eye" to the problem, but official complaints from the...

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Funny story: Letters To The Mahavishnu: 2 - Spirit Guide

Letters To The Mahavishnu: 2 - Spirit Guide

Dear Dr Mahavishnu, I am drunk, and tomorrow I'll be hung-over, do you know any miracle cures? Yours headachingly, Steve 'Acer' Woodchuck Dear 'Quite Inexpensive' Steve There are but 4 guaranteed solutions to your predicament young Liver Lasher 1) Stay Drunk - Forever 2) Get Drunker - Let the hospital detox do its magic 3) Chicken Soup with rusty nails in (digestion of nails...

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Funny story: Happy Hours banned, unhappy hours introduced

Happy Hours banned, unhappy hours introduced

MPs today approved a move to ban "Happy hours" in pubs, bars and school canteens all over England and Wales today. A counter strategy called the "unhappy hour" was introduced. In the "unhappy" hour drinkers will be charged 15 times the usual pric...

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Funny story: Arthur Pewty Sparks National Security Scare

Arthur Pewty Sparks National Security Scare

Britain went into meltdown yesterday teatime following news that 53 year old ne'er do well Arthur Pewty was rumoured to be going out for a pint. RAF Fighter Command was put on standby, the SAS were recalled from leave, Gordon Brown convened an eme...

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Funny story: Massive Changes in the Alcohol Laws by 2010

Massive Changes in the Alcohol Laws by 2010

Self extinguishing cigarettes that go out in 60 seconds if they are not smoked will become compulsory across Europe within three years. A new EU ruling will force tobacco companies to use fire retardant paper in all cigarettes by 2011 in a bid to cut...

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Funny story: Wimbledon Final Delayed by Philip's Drinking

Wimbledon Final Delayed by Philip's Drinking

The longest Wimbledon final in history was marred twice Sunday by a shameless public drinking display by Prince Philip.

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Funny story: Mars Lander Finds Ice; Mixed Drinks in Space Coming Soon

Mars Lander Finds Ice; Mixed Drinks in Space Coming Soon

(The North Pole, Mars) - In one of the most important scientific discoveries of the last 100 days (at least), the Mars Lander, currently making sand castles in the sand of the polar region of the fourth rock from the sun, has located deposits of ice...

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Funny story: Teenager not stabbed in Harrogate - leaders dismayed

Teenager not stabbed in Harrogate - leaders dismayed

The scene outside the "Spinal Taps" public house in Harrogate was chaotic last night as revellers spilled onto the street to find that a teenager had not been stabbed.

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Funny story: The Algarve kids club that lets you drink and drink

The Algarve kids club that lets you drink and drink

The number of UK citizens flying to Portugal for the summer has more than doubled following the launch of a new Drink And Be Merry kids club was launched, say tourism authorities.

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Funny story: British binge-drink parents demand televised Papal hugfest

British binge-drink parents demand televised Papal hugfest

Algarve - (Ass Mess): A British couple accused of rampant drunkenness at a Portuguese holiday complex are demanding the Pope's help to clear their names after being accused of child neglect.

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Funny story: Obama Drinking Game Killing College Students

Obama Drinking Game Killing College Students

At least 237 cases of alcohol poisoning in the last week at campus dorms and campus bars across the US to a new drinking game called Obama Slamma. According to Craig Boiled Owl from New Mexico University, "It's because it's so easy. All you do is...

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Funny story: Banned Beverage Returns to American Bars

Banned Beverage Returns to American Bars

Absinthe was taken off of the liquor store shelves and out of the bars and saloons of the United States over 100 years ago. Doctors, at the time, said that the drink caused blindness, seizures, and insanity.

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