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Funny satire stories about cancer

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Funny story: Cancer Expected To Kill Millions More, Aside From Jade Goody

Cancer Expected To Kill Millions More, Aside From Jade Goody

Cancer, the terrible disease that has taken hold of the Big Brother 'star' Jade Goody, is this morning reported to be a risk for millions of other sufferers worldwide, many of whom will also die. Cancer can affect people of all ages, but the risk...

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Funny story: Researchers Uncover Cancer Cause

Researchers Uncover Cancer Cause

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University and the Mayo Clinic have discovered a new probable cause for many, if not most, forms of cancer. In a study lasting three years and costing in excess of twelve billion dollars, Scientists have linked together...

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Funny story: Aspartame Approved for Chemotherapy

Aspartame Approved for Chemotherapy

NEWARK - In a suprise move today, aspartame, a drug added to food to make people fat, dumb, and hungry, has been approved for chemotherapy. "Actually, like other things that cause cancer, such as radiation, aspartame can be used to treat cancer to...

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Funny story: Baddy or Goody

Baddy or Goody

A recent survey has revealed that 85% of the general public have no sympathy whatsoever for Jade Goody in her harrowing cancer battle. One man, 44, from Lincs. said "Better people have fought cancer and died from it. I wouldn't be surprised if th...

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Funny story: Seve Ballesteros In Stable Condition After Operation

Seve Ballesteros In Stable Condition After Operation

Spanish golfing legend Seve Ballesteros is tonight said to be in a stable condition after undergoing an operation on his brain tumour. Many of our readers in the UK and the US may consider it strange to have a man who has just been through such a...

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Funny story: Jade Goody has media website closed down

Jade Goody has media website closed down

Reality TV Queen Jade Goody has put up with much personal abuse over the years but has always endured it with good grace. However, her patience finally ran out today with a court order cutting the media bully 'Digital Lie' down to size. The site...

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Funny story: Jade Goody Responsible for Massive Fall in Profits

Jade Goody Responsible for Massive Fall in Profits

A leading cancer research charity has blamed its dramatic fall in revenue on Big Brother racist Jade Goody. Goody, 27, was diagnosed with cancer just over a month ago whilst appearing on India's Big Brother programme. Since the airing of Miss Goo...

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Funny story: Not having cancer leads to cancer, say experts

Not having cancer leads to cancer, say experts

Scientists have identified one guaranteed precursor to cancer - not having cancer. "We examined 10,000 adults with cancer and found one overwhelming similarity within almost all of them - they used to be cancer free," explained Dr Thomas Statistif...

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Funny story: Writers Guild of America to Discuss Whether Bob Novak's Brain Tumor Is Funny

Writers Guild of America to Discuss Whether Bob Novak's Brain Tumor Is Funny

Leading members of The Writer's Guild of America are meeting tonight in Los Angeles to discuss whether veteran political commentator Bob Novak's brain tumor is funny. "Normally these things are felt to be considered in bad taste," remarked vetera...

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Funny story: Cancer Diagnosed With Goody

Cancer Diagnosed With Goody

Mumbai - It was announced earlier today that controversial reality figure, Cancer, has been diagnosed with Jade Goody. Publicist, Ford Climax, told reporters that Cancer has had Jade Goody 'up to here', indicating the forehead as the infected area...

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Funny story: Jade Goody furious with Christina Applegate

Jade Goody furious with Christina Applegate

Jade goody, the cockney queen of reality TV has launched a bitter tirade at Christina Applegate who chose to announce her double mastectomy at the same time as Goody announced her cervical cancer. "That mouthy tart stole my publicity", opined Good...

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Funny story: Homeless Less Likely to Get Cancer

Homeless Less Likely to Get Cancer

Washington, D.C. -- According to researchers at the Cancer Research Center in Washington, D.C., the homeless are much less likely to get cancer than those with a roof over their head. Scientists and doctors alike at the Center claim that their evi...

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Funny story: Your Horoscope : Cancer

Your Horoscope : Cancer

Horoscope with guest Astrologer Sir Geoff Hurst...

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Funny story: Tobacco manufacturers vindicated as throat cancer blamed on oral sex

Tobacco manufacturers vindicated as throat cancer blamed on oral sex

London - (20-a-day Mess): British Imperial Cancer Industries are feeling very pleased with themselves after successfully hiring Dr Andrew Wakefield-type quacks to blame throat cancer on dodgy oral sex practices.

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Funny story: Liberalism causes brain cancer

Liberalism causes brain cancer

A study performed at Massachusetts General Hospital revealed today that liberalism causes seizures, brain tumors, and cancer. This study will go hand-in-hand with Ted Kennedy's recent health problems and is currently suspected to be the main cau...

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Funny story: Sunbed Cancer Link

Sunbed Cancer Link

The majority of people who use sunbeds have an increased risk of developing lung cancer, it has been revealed. A straw poll, taken outside Tanyaz Tanz in Wigan, Lancashire, showed a whopping 100% of all people who visited the salon put out a cigar...

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Funny story: Twin Girls to play for England

Twin Girls to play for England

Sometimes legends are made, sometimes legends are born, but very occasionally legends are made before they're born. Michelle Stepney, the daughter of football legend, Alex Stepney, the long time Goalkeeper for Manchester United,...

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