Penis-lifter Viagra tablets say they are going to straighten out their newly planned ads featuring Tiger Woods. "We thought that he would make a good point for us by all the activity reported over the past month and he was available, we heard, aft...
Managers have vehemently denied prescribing viagra for the England world cup squad ahead of South Africa 2010. The news was leaked from HQ. The lads will be training 5000ft above sea level at Rustenburg, and officials are worried the thinner air w...
The Union of Transit Workers in Philadelphia are at it again as they are not getting the promised daily doses of Viagra that was agreed upon, to settle last year's walkout before the World Series. "We're hard workers and we demand a hard penis to...
INTERCOURSE, PA - Sexologists at the teaching hospital of Bonair University have announced their findings that engaging in sexy activities work just as well toward achieving an erection as taking Viagra or Levitra, and without the unpleasant side-eff...
A Swiss pharmaceutical group called Nervotis has developed an electronic pill and chip that it hopes will reduce the number of patients who have to be supervised taking their medicine. Severine Baerrtschi, head of pharmaceuticals at Nevortis, said...
In Lake Charles, Louisiana - Authorities here said a naked 81-year-old man was able to hold a drunken intruder, who may have been trying to burglarize the place, at pecker point until deputies arrived, nearly four hours later. Gladstone Gandhi jum...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama rarely let's his anger get the best of him. Nonetheless, Obama released the text of his Saturday afternoon radio broadcast to reporters in the White House Press Room today, something he has never done thus far...
Paris, France - French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, collapsed while jogging today. Reports are that it was shortly after he and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy had a lover's quarrel over lovemaking. Sarkozy disclosed to his attending physician at the hos...
A representative of the rock group Pink Floyd has launched a lawsuit against the Pfizer Company, makers of Viagra the penis miracle drug, over their use of the music to their hit single, "Another Brick In The Wall". "They have definitely crossed t...
An internal investigation is to take place at a large chemists after more than 500,000 Viagra pills went missing from Central Depots at Hornchurch, Cockfosters and Willoughby. All male staff over 35 have not turned up for work at these Depots; St...
While many people are sick or have died from Swine Flu, the survivors have noticed one side effect of this disease: longer, harder, and more frequent erections. Announcement of this by the World Health Organization (W.H.O.) has caused men of all age...
A mother of octuplets became unhinged again last night and was rushed to local hospital and underwent surgery to remove eight Viagra tablets. The California mother of fourteen was reported as saying "Oh God, I'm going to kill myself," repeatedly o...
LONDON - Mick Jagger, 65, Keith Richards, 65, Ron Wood, 61, Bill Wyman, 72, and Charlie Watts, 67, whose combined ages is 330! were all detained for questioning at London's Heathrow Airport. It seems that the lads had stashed over 24,000 counterfe...
According to the latest rumor, Rush Limbaugh has once again been caught last week at an airport with two bottles of Viagra with another person's name on them. Limbaugh, who reportedly called the security officers "some of Obama's Chicago little th...
Seventeen minutes ago Barack Obama's team of advisers completed their research on Internet usage. By refocussing the cameras hidden in every lap top, they have discovered that most people's primary daily exercise is masturbation while scrutinising po...
At this crucial juncture in the push to pass an economic recovery package, President Obama finds himself in the most unlikely of places: He is losing the message war. Despite Obama's high personal approval ratings, polls show support has declined...
The British capital of London ground to a halt on Monday after the worst snowstorm in 18 years caused hundreds of flight cancellations and virtually halted public transportation and private entertainment, catching thousands of Londoners without food,...
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