SAN JOSE, CA - AppleCo is creating quite a "buzz" in the marketplace, unexpectedly branching out into the marital aid market. The latest in the company's hugely successful line of products, the new iVibe, will be hitting adult stores in early Februa...
A new government initiative was launched with much fan-fare. In a world torn apart by rising unemployment, a faltering education system, and National Health Service, Ministers decided to launch a day for Stalkers.
Lady Godiva rode her stallion bare front and back without interference in ole London town but the Roman goddess of Love, just days before St Valentine's day, has been banned from London's subway.
Washington DC (IPP) - Congress will vote today on Bill HR569 which will determine as to whether or not to change the name of Valentine's Day to J. Edgar Hoover Day. It appears that conservative members of Congress will succeed in getting this le...
Cupid, one of the smallest yet most powerful cherubs has been found dead.
New Scotland Yard - (Treasonous Mess): A St Valentine's Day massacre is how cops have described an apocalyptic plan to finally rid the civilised world of the KGB worm masquerading as the heir presumptive to the Puppet Throne.
Riyadh, Sordid Arabia - (Sad Ass Mess): Sordid Thought Police forces have threatened anybody selling red roses, tacky greetings cards and other St Valentine's paraphernalia with a 100 lash public flogging after claiming it would incite and deprav...
Kennedy Space Center, Florida - News of a small but significant behind the scenes brouhaha over top NASA officials' decision to broadcast a Beatles song into space has not yet reached the mainstream media. It is the latest in the ages long strugg...
London, England - Research on primates, our closest relatives, has revealed a startling connection between the sexual behavior of female monkeys and that of women: both species fake orgasms during sexual intercourse with their male counterparts.
With the growing trend of leaving bouquets at the scene, in tribute to fatalities, it has been discovered that some florists may be deliberately killing off people in order to boost sales.
Walmart Supermarket sold live Valentine babes at an all time low for Valentine's Day, and sparked a riot!! By slashing the price of a healthy, live honey to just $2 - an all time low for Valentine's Day - th...
Drowning Street - (Rotters): With enough ammunition to last a three week armed siege UK Prime Mobster Tony Blair has barricaded himself inside No 10 after persistent rumors all day that the Met's Fraud Squad is coming in after him tomorrow mornin...
The newest addition to the Vagina Monologues is published on Wednesday 14th February to coincide with St Valentine's Day, and will be read to the world by Celebrity Big Brother loser Jade Goody.
London - (Rioters): Predators such as George Bush, Tony Blair and Pope Ratzinger could be in for a nasty Second Coming shock this Valentine's Day as a huge comet originating in the costellation of Aquilla the Eagle heralds the Return of the King,...
An elementary school teacher has determined that her entire class of fourth graders is bi-sexual. The school board has been notified and local churches are in an uproar over the news. Hannah Spinster of Harsh, Utah discovered that all of the chil...
Women across America are hailing the release of the new Man-Bot 2007 as the perfect antidote for Valentine's Day blues. Designed through a joint venture of Microsoft and the National Organization for Women, the Man-Bot 2007 showcases the best &q...
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