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Funny satire stories about Trains

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Funny story: £3¼bn overhaul of railway stations throughout UK won't affect passengers. Much.

£3¼bn overhaul of railway stations throughout UK won't affect passengers. Much.

Network rail has issued a statement following their announcement of the proposed £3¼ billion facelift for thousands of the UK's railway stations. They have assured the great British public that there will be the minimum of disruption during the pr...

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Funny story: Half Price Tickets for Train Passengers

Half Price Tickets for Train Passengers

Wikid-Innit Trains have offered a new deal to passengers with a low budget. Those passengers will be able to travel at half price if they agree to turn up at their station one hour earlier than their train is due, and participate in the station clean...

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Funny story: Commuter rant worker gets promoted

Commuter rant worker gets promoted

An underground railway worker who was seen yelling at an elderly passenger in a video has been promoted to head of customer service. A spokesman said Ian Outthecreases, a customer service assistant, was promoted for his skills on a small incident...

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Funny story: Anger and the 'bad' number

Anger and the 'bad' number

Why am I angry? If you ask yourself this question, have a think - could you have recently been exposed to the 'bad' number? Remember when Sudoku was all the rage a few years back? Notice now how it's all not the rage? In 2005 a government research team found that people who played excessive Sudoku on their morning train commute were subjected to prolonged exposure to the 'bad' number;...

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Funny story: Toddler hit by train, ate by dingo

Toddler hit by train, ate by dingo

Outback, Australia - Meryl Streep, who swears she only looked away for a second, has lost her toddler in a bizarre story of trains and dingos. Security footage is unclear, but some are saying that the stroller looked pushed on to the tracks. Othe...

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Funny story: Gov. Mark Sanford refuses offer of train tickets to leave town

Gov. Mark Sanford refuses offer of train tickets to leave town

At a press conference on Wednesday...South Carolina's lieutenant governor called for the resignation of Gov. Mark Sanford citing "serious misconduct" and "serious distractions" in connection with Sanford's extramarital affair with a woman from Argent...

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Funny story: World's Biggest Dog Stuck in Train Tunnel

World's Biggest Dog Stuck in Train Tunnel

Salem Gap, NC - Eight year old Johnny Stumph could tell his dog Jack was going to grow larger than most dogs when Jack would pull him on his skateboard up town Mountain Road. "When Jack was just a puppy I'd tie a rope around him and he'd pull me...

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Funny story: Great train robber Ronnie Biggs is freed

Great train robber Ronnie Biggs is freed

The Home Secretary, The Rt. Hon. Jock Strap, has today granted a pardon to the former great train robber Ronnie Biggs. Mr Strap said that Mr Biggs was free to pack his bags and leave his home for the past few months, ward 4, bed 2, (no mobiles all...

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Funny story: Tax Increase Inevitable - We Must Go On The Train

Tax Increase Inevitable - We Must Go On The Train

Not since the days of Dr Beeching's axe has so much attention been paid to the few peasants who travel by train to their humdrum jobs in London financial institutions. In a bid to reassure this focus group (known as "Yuppy Wankers" by the rest of...

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Funny story: Dizzney Offs Monorail Driver

Dizzney Offs Monorail Driver

ORLANDO, FL - As predicted, the horrific Metro crash in Washington D.C. two weeks ago was finally duplicated, though on a much smaller scale, in Orange County, Florida today when a Dizzney World monorail train smashed into the rear of another that wa...

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Funny story: San Francisco Carnage: D.C. Metro Copycat Crashes BART Train

San Francisco Carnage: D.C. Metro Copycat Crashes BART Train

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The horrific Metro crash in Washington D.C. was virtually replayed in San Francisco today when an underground BART train headed for downtown smashed into the rear of another at the height of evening rush hour, injuring scores of c...

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Funny story: Mi6 Left on train!

Mi6 Left on train!

Great Britain was today sensationally left unguarded as Mi6 was apparently left on a train from Waterloo. Security Services, Police & PCSO Numpties from across the nation have been drafted in to find the elusive building which is usually left...

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Funny story: Train Arrives Late, Causing Anger

Train Arrives Late, Causing Anger

Trouble flared briefly in Birmingham this lunchtime, as passengers waiting for a train became incensed when it didn't turn up on time, leaving them stranded on a platform, and susceptible to all manner of airborne respiratory viruses. The incident...

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Funny story: Great Railway Trips of the World: London King's Cross to Luton

Great Railway Trips of the World: London King's Cross to Luton

On tonight's television on BBC4, viewers can see again the award-winning 'Great Train Journeys of the World: King's Cross to Luton'. Presenter Martin Chuzzletwit takes the epic journey, and drama begins before the train even leaves London. 'I was just opening my Thermos flask of cold tea', he said, 'when the ticket collector came round before we had even got going. 'Tickets please', he said, in...

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Funny story: NExpress launch inspired service

NExpress launch inspired service

Dastardly Dick Bowker head Vulture at NExpress central announced more bleak news "Despite my efforts to maintain profitability it looks like we are slipping off the rails" Dick axed the on board catering for the East Coast main line recently in an ef...

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Funny story: National Express - Train Nerd debate hots up

National Express - Train Nerd debate hots up

The debate into banning train nerds from stations in order to peruse their hobbies is hotting up. Supreme train geek Pete Waterman responsible for a string a shite pop songs in the eighties said "This is diabolical, National Express are putting an en...

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Funny story: Train Nerds indentified as terror threat

Train Nerds indentified as terror threat

Train spotters are to be banned from all major stations along the East Coast route as the result of a clampdown from National Express. A spokeswoman for the Transport Salaried Staff Association said "We know NX are planning this move. The informatio...

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