The long rumored and whispered sexual liaisons between the hot blonde Hollywood icon and the political dynasty of the Kennedy's apparently is now confirmed. The perfectly pickled and preserved pussy of MM was opened wide yesterday by a team of forensic dentists at the world renown Mengle Forensic Dentistry Institute, Buenos Airies, Argentina. By comparing the dental records of Robert Kennedy to...
Roadkill, Alaska - Governor Sarah Palin has confirmed reports that the proposed Alaskan 'bridge to nowhere' was to be named the 'Chappaquiddick' in honor of Senator Ted Kennedy. Other names considered for the Gravina Island Bridge included: 'The...
Chappaquiddick MA-- Former pop star Michael Jackson checked into the Chappaquiddick Hospital last week in preparation for a face transplant. Blue-fly maggots consumed most of his facial flesh after his recent acquittal on child molestation charges.
Barack Obama took a private jet to North Carolina late last night after declaring that he had clinched the Democratic nomination. With the presidential primaries essentially out of the way, Obama hurried to the bedside of Ted Kennedy. Kennedy has bee...
Senator Edward M. Kennedy successfully underwent exploratory brain surgery yesterday at the Mad Science Brain Center in the Magic Kingdom at Florida's Disney World.
Duke University, North Carolina (IPP) - Ted Kennedy was all excited about the prospects of having brain surgery performed on him.
Sources close to the Newly tumored Massachusetts Senator Kennedy say that a get well card arrived at the Hyannis port mansion from Bill and Hillary. The card was apparently one of those gag gifts meant to cheer up a person dying from brain cancer.
Langley, Virginia - (AssoCIAted Mess & Reuterus): A former senior official at the President George Herbert Bush Center For Intelligence (sic) said today that someone should have stopped the Kennedy family from relentless self reinvention after Ted Ke...
Oncologists will tell you that brain cancer can influence the thoughts and voices heard by tumor sufferers. When it was discovered that Ted Kennedy had a brain tumor, political experts searched the medical archives for evidence to explain the filthy...
A study performed at Massachusetts General Hospital revealed today that liberalism causes seizures, brain tumors, and cancer. This study will go hand-in-hand with Ted Kennedy's recent health problems and is currently suspected to be the main cau...
US Democratic Senator Edward Kennedy has been discovered to be an imposter after being hospitalized, stunned doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital told reporters.
THE BRAIN - A brain tumor in the left hemisphere announced today that according to doctors he has a malignant Ted Kennedy and was expected to be rid of it in at least three months.
New Yawk, NY-- The recent illness of Obama superdelegate Teddie Kennedy has many other Obama supporters looking behind their backs and checking their health insurance policies. Many superdelegates are now supporting Hillary Clinton after a weekend fi...
Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy wrote a fictitious version of what may have happened at Chappaquiddick on July 19, 1969.
Cape Cod - (Fishy Business Mess): Senator Ted Kennedy was rushed into intensive care last night following the discovery of a giant fissure in his 22 November 1963 alibi.
Ted Kennedy was airlifted to a Boston hospital after what could possibly have been a stroke (or another bump on the head after being falling down drunk again). While being treated by a trauma team in the emergency room, the Massachusetts Senator was...
Sen. Edward Kennedy was rushed to a hospital in Cape Code, Massachusetts this morning with an apparent gunshot wound, his office confirmed.
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