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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Grocery clerks privately admit they don't really care if you found everything you needed or not

Grocery clerks privately admit they don't really care if you found everything you needed or not

It's a question asked every time you go through a supermarket checkout line. "Did you find everything you were looking for?" But at a news conference today, a veteran grocery checkout clerk revealed that he and other checkers don't really care if y...

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Funny story: Savvy Shoppers Saving At Checkout By Peeling Fruit And Vegetables Prior To Purchasing - But Grocery Stores Express Concern

Savvy Shoppers Saving At Checkout By Peeling Fruit And Vegetables Prior To Purchasing - But Grocery Stores Express Concern

Thrifty shoppers spurred by the growing economic downturn are finding new ways to save mega bucks at the grocery store checkout; however some stores claim that the "penny wise" consumers may see an increase in prices should supermarkets be forced to...

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Funny story: Christmas Gifts 1952 from Lemco

Christmas Gifts 1952 from Lemco

With the holiday season soon to be on us its time to look at Christmas gifts for all the family. Mom: Moms live to iron so what better gift to give than a brand new Lemco ironing board. If that was what you got for Mom last year then this year you should top it off with a nice floral print Lemco asbestos ironing board cover. Moms everywhere will be looking forward to a New Year full of ironing...

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Funny story: 17 States Ban Black Friday

17 States Ban Black Friday

CHICAGO - The Committee Overseeing Shoppers Actions, known as COSA, has just issued a press release which will pertain to Black Friday, starting in 2013. Anastasia "Salsa" Lightmiggle 42, national director of COSA, stated that due to the ever-grow...

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Funny story: Cher Really Gets Into It With Donald Trump

Cher Really Gets Into It With Donald Trump

MANHATTAN - Cher was in the Big Apple on a clothes buying spree. She was accompanied by her long time friend Margo "The Rack" Wickwater. The two were shopping at Bloomingdale's where Cher had gone to look for scarves with the Democratic logo on th...

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Funny story: Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon

Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon

Plymouth, Mass - Mal*Wart, JC Farthings, and Maced stores all plan to open right after millions of giant turkey dinners are consumed. Who wants to wait for Black Friday? According to Dr. Drew Upbird, medical consultant to the retail industry, con...

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Funny story: Spoofed and Chagrined in Spoofville

Spoofed and Chagrined in Spoofville

Dear Spoof, please help. I went out to purchase a toaster at the local Spoof-Mart the other day. To my enlightened surprise it came with a complimentary checking account. After this exciting surprise I immediately went to the Spoof & Shop supermarket and selected numerous kinds of bread for my new device. Then I ventured over to the Spoof Bank to open the free checking account and lucky...

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Funny story: Virginity For Sale In Online Auction

Virginity For Sale In Online Auction

Following the successful sale of a young woman's virginity in an online auction, budding entrepreneurs appear set to alter Britain's retail landscape for good. Reports of Brazilian student Catarina Migliorini selling her virginity in an online auc...

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Funny story: My life as a man #21

My life as a man #21

The running of the shrews Every Wednesday the newspaper prints the local supermarket insert with all the coupons and "two-fers." If you are a man and you need groceries, don't go to the market on Wednesday. You will surely suffer a misadventure; you might even die! I know that in this economy people are looking for ways to save a nickel. Coupon clipping adds a few pennies to the weekly fo...

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Funny story: Free food at your supermarket? Every little helps!

Free food at your supermarket? Every little helps!

In a bid to increase its profile, national supermarket chain Asburyco are going to allow those suffering under the cut backs to have free food in a soup kitchen / food parcel kind of arrangement. During daylight hours any participant can go to any...

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Funny story: Trials and Tribulations of Transitioning - shopping

Trials and Tribulations of Transitioning - shopping

When I first started cross dressing, shopping was difficult. Now, with my continuing journey into femininity, it has got no easier. The internet is pretty good for clothes shopping. By pretty good, I mean 'amazing'. You can buy anything on the internet: a nice party frock for the office party or a satin corset with holes in places that render the garment useless. Hats, shoes, underwear, attachm...

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Funny story: Cross Dressers to get their own car-parking spaces

Cross Dressers to get their own car-parking spaces

In a bid to help Britain's last hidden minority, moves are afoot to provide transsexuals, transvestites and cross dressers with their own car parking spaces. "Initially," said scheme organiser, Monica Soon, "this will be outside clothes shops on r...

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Funny story: Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

HACKENSACK, New Jersey - A group of about 20 teenagers who went into Stefano Silvestri's Shirt Shop got the surprise of their young lives. The teens thought that they could just barge in and help themselves to whatever shirts they wanted free of c...

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Funny story: Poundshop Scam - Arrests Made

Poundshop Scam - Arrests Made

Following newspaper reports that food items that had been nibbled by mice and had been re-packaged and sold on to the public by the poundshop in the tiny village of Mousehole in Cornwall was in shock today over the arrest of two of its most popular r...

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Funny story: Paper receipts to be phased out by 2020

Paper receipts to be phased out by 2020

The familiar paper receipt that accompanies virtually ever physical store purchase is to be phased out by 2020 when it is expected that the last UK resident without an email address will have died of old age. The plan is, instead, to request an em...

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Funny story: Fury at Long Wait in Checkout Line

Fury at Long Wait in Checkout Line

Furious shoppers in Boca Raton Florida have demanded an explanation as to why they had to wait four minutes in line at a local "up market" grocery store - some even describing the experience as "horrific". The Fresh Market grocery store pride...

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Funny story: The Joy Of Customer Services (Or: How To Bite One's Lip 'Til It Bleeds)

The Joy Of Customer Services (Or: How To Bite One's Lip 'Til It Bleeds)

What follows is an actual transcript of a telephone conversation that took place during a normal working day in an office in the UK. It is a snap shot of the levels of customer services that can be expected from a typical British company. Names and specific product have been changed to protect the guilty, and to further explain the frustration encountered by the person making the enquiry.

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