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Funny satire stories about Red Sox

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Funny story: Oxymorons and the Boston Red Sox

Oxymorons and the Boston Red Sox

The Red Sox have the greatest irony in sports: a paucity of riches. With their mega-budget and endless fount of moneymaking schemes, they bathe in a tub of greenbacks, able to shower off the muck of unpleasant players and lack of gratitude of egom...

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Funny story: J.D. Drew Flu Now a Full-Fledged Case of Bard Disease in Boston

J.D. Drew Flu Now a Full-Fledged Case of Bard Disease in Boston

Jon Lester has caught a bad case of what ails Daniel Bard who may have caught it from Daisuke Matsuzaka. The disease starts with general malaise and blows into full wildness and physical inability to throw strikes. An occasional gopher ball mixes...

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Funny story: A Day Off is No Day at the Beach for Jacoby Ellsbury

A Day Off is No Day at the Beach for Jacoby Ellsbury

Red Sox star Jacoby Ellsbury was not in the lineup on Saturday night. No, he was not ill with Saturday Night Fever, out dancing and cavorting in celebration of his return from a nearly season long stint on the Disabled List. He enjoyed somethin...

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Funny story: Josh Beckett Can Still Win 20 Games in 2012

Josh Beckett Can Still Win 20 Games in 2012

Can Josh Beckett still win 20 games this season for the Boston Red Sox? Could he end the season of 2012 with a record of 20-12? Panic-stricken fans in Red Sox Nation are ready to let Beckett go to the highest bidder, dismissing his career as alrea...

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Funny story: Second Half of Season Looks Ominous for Red Sox

Second Half of Season Looks Ominous for Red Sox

After the All-Star game, the Boston Red Sox begin to look for runs in their stockings. Yes, the second half of the season begins on Friday 13th. If you were writing the movie script for a horror story, only calling up Freddy Kreuger could be more...

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Funny story: Dustin Pedroia Changes His Sox to Knee Length

Dustin Pedroia Changes His Sox to Knee Length

With the changing of the guard at Fenway Park we have seen also the changing of the socks. For many years Jason Varitek, known for his notable big C on the chest, was dubbed official "Captain" of the team. One of the unwritten signs he was the old...

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Funny story: Long Goodbye of Kevin Youkilis

Long Goodbye of Kevin Youkilis

In April Manager Bobby Valentine of the Red Sox questioned the dedication and physical ability of Kevin Youkilis. On the day Youk is traded to the White Sox, Bobby V notes that Youk's dedication was legendary. Participating in the longest goodbye...

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Funny story: Here Comes Kevin Youkilis, Mannywood or Bust

Here Comes Kevin Youkilis, Mannywood or Bust

Red Sox star and occasional slumper Kevin Youkilis is apparently on the chopping block. The executioner is singing, "Sweet Caroline," one more time. At least Youk is on the short shopping list. The Red Sox have decided they have a surfeit of playe...

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Funny story: Boston Red Sox Toxicity: Colorless and Odorless

Boston Red Sox Toxicity: Colorless and Odorless

Red Sox fans may demand that the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) be called in to investigate the fetid air in the Boston clubhouse, according to insider sources. Carbon monoxide is usually colorless and odorless, and the Red Sox are opaque...

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Funny story: Red Sox Pitcher Jon Lester Misses the Sign to Swing for the Caramel

Red Sox Pitcher Jon Lester Misses the Sign to Swing for the Caramel

Sign language is difficult, especially if you are a pitcher and the third base coach is tossing a bunch of bizarre hand gestures your way. Most pitchers know only a couple of finger movements. A recent Boston commercial for a local coffee chai...

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Funny story: Big Ticket & Big Papi Find the Fountain of Youth

Big Ticket & Big Papi Find the Fountain of Youth

David Ortiz and Kevin Garnett have been friends since their lonely and losing days in Minnesota, Ortiz with the Twins and Garnett with the Timberwolves. Each found redemption in the escape to Boston. Ortiz told Garnett that Boston may not be th...

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Funny story: Red Sox Ace Josh Beckett Faces the Prevailing Winds

Red Sox Ace Josh Beckett Faces the Prevailing Winds

Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine revealed after another so-so outing by pitcher Josh Beckett that the former ace suffered from a bad case of wind in the first two innings. The dastardly Miami Marlins were the culprits, having thrown the pitcher a c...

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Funny story: Nats' Stephen Strasburg Leaves Red Sox Awestruck Out

Nats' Stephen Strasburg Leaves Red Sox Awestruck Out

'Hit me with a rainbow,' indeed. A famous writer once titled his book with that catchy phrase. Not until now, however, has a baseball manager analyzed his own team's fortunes with the notion at the end of the rainbow was a pot of gold for the Nat...

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Funny story: Boston Red Sox Continue to be Finger Licking Unlucky

Boston Red Sox Continue to be Finger Licking Unlucky

Thumb injuries have gone viral on the Boston Red Sox. Who knew that thumb problems are catchy? Dustin Pedroia could be out as much as a month according to some reports because of his injured thumb. He played for weeks with a problem that blew up w...

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Funny story: Carl Crawford To Star in Walking Dead, Red Sox Style

Carl Crawford To Star in Walking Dead, Red Sox Style

Word out of Florida is that Red Sox outfielder Carl Crawford cannot throw a baseball because his elbow hurts. It may be that he suffers from zombie arm. This is on top of a wrist that was recently repaired surgically because he could not swing a b...

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Funny story: Entering the Valentine Zone

Entering the Valentine Zone

Bobby Valentine is now going where no manager has gone before. This is the voyage of the 2012 Red Sox, an intrepid group of baseball players who have no chemistry or biology that in any way resembles a team The mission of Bobby Valentine was su...

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Funny story: Fenway Park: 300th Anniversary Already Being Planned

Fenway Park: 300th Anniversary Already Being Planned

A few enterprising types tried their hands at creative writing yesterday, making predictions about the 200th anniversary of Fenway Park. As per usual, the amount of creative detail seemed to run to the adage "the more things change, the more they...

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