SALT LAKE CITY - Jon Huntsman, the ex-governor of the state of Utah, was speaking before a gathering of elementary school teachers in Salt Lake City, when he was asked what he would do to eliminate poverty in his home state. Huntsman, who is runn...
CHATTANOOGA - Herman Cain brought his Republican presidential campaign into Chattanooga, Tennessee, the town where Cousin Connie's Confederate-Style Cornbread was first baked back in 1864. He spoke before a half-cheering crowd of 22 in the parking...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Herman Cain has taken a slight lead in the Republican nomination contest, but is currently the leader by a large margin in the Gaffe Factor. When asked who the president of Uzbekistan was, Cain replied, "When they ask me who is t...
CLEVELAND - GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain spoke at a Walmart parking lot where he began to tell the assembled crowd of about 27 people about his 9-9-9 tax proposal. Suddenly from the back a male voice hollered out, "The hell with 9-9-9 du...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Herman Cain's campaign for the Republican nomination is all over but for the crying. Web-based news sources confronted Cain about sexual harassment suits from the 1990s. After a long pause, Cain reverted to German, a tactic some...
GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - Ron Paul has said that he will stay in the GOP presidential race no matter how many salacious rumors about him people choose to make up. The 76-year-old from Texas says that in regards to rumors that he has pretty much heard...
KANKAKEE, Illinois - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour found itself in Kankakee, Illinois, the home of Johnny Appleseed Instant Apple Sauce. She was greeted by a group of well wishers who wished her presidential campaign well a...
DEVIL'S LAKE, North Dakota - Mitt Romney's The Mormon Master Bus Tour pulled into Devil's Lake where Romney met with about 17 supporters at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Chinese Restaurant. Romney, bought egg rolls and orders of Crab Rangoon fo...
Congresswoman and Nobel prize winning particle physicist and quantum mechanic Sarah Palin was today given her warmest endorsement by the Republican party in the run-up to the 2012 election campaign. Republican senator George S.Cross of Texas said...
Next week, at the Reuters/University of New Hampshire Republican Presidential Debate, congressman Ron Paul will be on stage alone, according to debate organizers. All other candidates have refused to participate. According to a near unanimous cro...
PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer has once again shown that she is going to run the state of Arizona with an iron fist, an iron mouth, and an iron groin. The 66-year-old very weathered governor, known as Jan "The Man" because of her unfeminine charact...
HONOLULU, Hawaii - When Roseanne Barr left the hustle and bustle of Tinsel Town and moved to Honolulu she had no idea that she would become the successful macadamia nut farmer that she has become. The 58-year-old Barr and her longtime boyfriend Jo...
PHOENIX - Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann may have another female candidate entering the presidential race. Reports filtering out of Arizona are saying that the state's governor Jan Brewer has decided to run for the office of president. Effort...
Waterloo, Iowa - Republican presidential contender Michele Bachmann spent her first day as an official candidate back-pedalling on her misstatement that film legend John Wayne was born here in her hometown. "Once Americans get to know me better, t...
Wasilla, Alaska - Tired of being branded as a political lightweight, Republican presidential contender Sarah Palin today revealed some heavy ideas for dealing with America's ongoing economic crisis. "The way I see it," Palin said, "America is bein...
NEW HAMPSHIRE - Political advisers are urging presidential-hopeful Mit Romney to do something very funny and embarrassing within the next fourteen days, thus ending his campaign with an act of public-service. "I know Mit, and he's in this thin...
CHICAGO - Mitt Romney is way ahead of Sarah Palin in the GOP popularity poll. Palin told Tabitha Tula Wishywater of GOPicky Magazine that she did not get the turnout that she was expecting to get with her Nationwide Bus Tour. "Snowflake" stated...
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