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Funny story: Theo Walcott to buy new house 'in the centre of the street'

Theo Walcott to buy new house 'in the centre of the street'

As the transfer window reopens on January 1st and the future of Theo Walcott at Arsenal still undecided, the saga took a development today when Theo put his house in Hertfordshire up for sale. Speculation mounted that Walcott was going to live in...

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Funny story: Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villain-Boas (AVB) has given Gareth Bale a belated Christmas present in the form of a pair of stabilisers that will stop him falling over in crucial Premier League soccer matches. Welsh wizard bale was booked in the 2-...

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Funny story: Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team

Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team

Fans of Birmingham's biggest professional soccer club today praised the teams massive '100% improvement over the Christmas holiday period. Following a zero-eight setback against European Champions Chelsea, the London based Russian financed team fr...

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Funny story: 'Arry Comes Out Of The Dark As It's Lights Out For Sparky

'Arry Comes Out Of The Dark As It's Lights Out For Sparky

Former Manchester City, Blackburn and Wales manager Mark Hughes has been shown the door by Queens Park Rangers after a terrible start to the season. The Loftus Road club are currently doing a good impression of a veruca in as much as they're roote...

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Funny story: Solskjaer Fancies Fergies Job

Solskjaer Fancies Fergies Job

Legendary former Manchester United striker Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has revealed he would relish the opportunity to manage his former club. The 'Baby Faced Assassin' as he's known at Old Trafford, despite never having assassinated anyone, currently ma...

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Funny story: WIN a Chance to Play in a Merseyside Derby Winner - Andre Wisdom

WIN a Chance to Play in a Merseyside Derby Winner - Andre Wisdom

Congratulations to Andre Wisdom, the winner of our competition to play in a real Merseyside Derby. Andre chose to play at right-back for Liverpool. The 19-year-old heard about our competition through a kids' football magazine, and jumped at the chance to enter. 'It has been a dream throughout my childhood to play for Manchester United. i saw the chance to play for Liverpool and decided to settl...

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Funny story: The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Manager

The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Manager

Following on from 'The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Footballer', and in response to the literally one letter we received, here is our latest helpful guide. This time we are focusing on Premier League management. Once you've finished your Premier League playing career you may want to consider becoming a manager. Not for the money of course as you'll already have enough of that to fu...

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Funny story: Southampton to be relegated by Halloween claims local man

Southampton to be relegated by Halloween claims local man

Southampton were tipped to be the first team to be 'mathematically relegated by Hallowen' last night as the Saints struggled to pick up a point in a tough opening month. Local man Mark Le Tissueface told local paper 'The News' the 'Adkins diet' wasn'...

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Funny story: Wolverhampton man wins £22 million midweek football lottery!

Wolverhampton man wins £22 million midweek football lottery!

A West Midlands man was ecstatic today after scooping £22 million on the midweek football lottery. Jezabel Moxey, Chief Executive of Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club, pocketed the cash today after his numbers come up last night. Other mid...

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Funny story: Rob Green hails five star performance from QPR

Rob Green hails five star performance from QPR

New QPR goalkeeper hailed a five star performance from Queens Park Rangers on the opening day of the Premier League season, as he picked the ball out of the net five times in a home reverse to Swansea. Green refused to be downbeat at his new teams...

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Funny story: King Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...

King Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...

Anfield, Merseyside: Deep within the 'bunker' mentality that makes Liverpool FC one of the legendary world Football Clubs, sits King Brenny. Before King Brenny, on his desk, lays a reportedly 600 page dossier that highlights the new dawn! Let us...

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Funny story: Football clubs to offer degree courses

Football clubs to offer degree courses

It was announced this morning that London football club Tottenham Hotspur is to offer degree courses, the first time a sporting club has entered the foray into third level education. Famous not only for it's iconic stadium at White Hart Lane, it i...

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Funny story: Manchester City accused of congesting the transfer market

Manchester City accused of congesting the transfer market

Manchester City, champions of England, have been accused of stifling the transfer market by Arsene Wenger, Roberto Di Mateo and Alex Ferguson. Roberto Mancini replied with "Eh?" "This is disgraceful," said Wenger. "I wished to sell Van Pepsi t...

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Funny story: The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Footballer

The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Footballer

This painstakingly constructed guide is designed to help all budding Premier League footballers conform to previously unwritten rules and avoid any embarrassing mistakes during your career. We shall begin with one of the most important aspects of being a footballer. 1) Disrespecting match officials. Never accept any decision that goes against you or your team. Referees and their assistant...

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Funny story: Jonathan "Call The Surgeon" Woodgate Rejoins Middlesbrough

Jonathan "Call The Surgeon" Woodgate Rejoins Middlesbrough

Former Leeds, Spurs and England centre-half Jonathan Woodgate has rejoined his boyhood team Middlesbrough on a free transfer following his release from Stoke City. Woodgate has managed to play an astounding 22 games in the last three seasons a...

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Funny story: 'Arry took Spurs as far as he could!

'Arry took Spurs as far as he could!

White Hart Lane, LONDON: Shiver me timbers good old 'Arry has left the Spuds. In his four year 'reign' 'Arry saved Spuds from being relegated from the Prmiership and took them in his second season to fourth, then fifth in his third season and fourt...

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Funny story: BT Shock with £738 Million Premier League rights, 'seeing off' stern ESPN and Al Jazeera competition.

BT Shock with £738 Million Premier League rights, 'seeing off' stern ESPN and Al Jazeera competition.

Post Office/BT Tower, LONDON: BT shockingly moved into Premier League football, after paying £738m to win the rights to show live matches from next year, with BSkyB still broadcasting the vast majority of live Premier League matches. Armchair T...

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