I keep getting pornographic emails from some unknown source. I open them up, being that I'm an inquisitive sort. Although I know that you're not supposed to open emails from strangers, because they could have a nasty virus attached, I open them anyway. Call me curious, stupid, impulsive...whatever, I don't know.... One was slugged: Red, White & Blue: This Judge Is Here for You!. It included...
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM, TEXASS - The citizens of Houston, TX, have a problem with Jorge Marin's statues. They're male--and they're naked. "Whether they be flesh and blood or bronze, we don't cotton to no naked men here in Houston, partner," Jim ("Big Bear") Butt said. The brawny bronzes in the sculptor's Wings of the City collection have stirred more than a few Houstonites, as residents...
Junguns Skincare Products announced that they will soon release lotion that comes in a bottle with a 4 ½ high-definition screen attached to it. Additionally, the bottles will have audio and Wi-Fi capabilities. They will be an industry first and ar...
In a controversial move for the president of the United States, often criticised as being cautious in acting in the Middle East, today he decided to switch off all transmission of adult pornography to any radical groups in Northern Iraq. Under siege...
Porn mogul 'Big' Dick Littlejohn has today accused Harry Potter fans of arson after the set of his latest movie Harry Do-Her and the Golden Shower burnt down last night in a huge conflagration in South London. "Those potty fans have had in for me...
Thousands of NSA files on U.S. citizens who were incidental Internet surveillance intercepts have been retained, recorded and classified the Times has found. They tell stories of fornication, love and heartbreak, illicit sexual liaisons, mental-heal...
A study by the Bureau of Pornographic Affairs, a agency of the United States Secret Service-with an accent on "Vice"-has come to the conclusion that the majority of pornographers operating within the United States are still using WindowBlinds some fi...
Judge Jamie Dean of West Virginia has handed down the ruling that halfwits cannot be prevented from using the county library. "That would be interfering with his rights as a citizen of the United States." "We're alright with most of the kids, b...
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - The U. S. National Security Agency (NSA) is gathering audiovisual recordings of millions of American citizens in its three-year effort to compile the largest "gonzo" pornographic tape of all time. What men, women, teens, and...
In this edition of Popular Pornography... ->0 Are Bed Vibrators a Thing of the Past? 0<- Recent reports from cheap, sleazy motels across the nation suggest that the long history of coin-operated bed vibrators may be coming to an end. With the cost going from a quarter to, in some cases, as high as $1.50, the business of shaking mattresses appears to be winding down. Cissy Filler, o...
SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - A representative for the Costa Rican government has informed the world wide press that the little Central American country is on the verge of achieving a world wide distinction. Since 2010, Costa Rica has become a mecca for...
Dateline: LOS ANGELES--Eduard Garbanzo, a plumber and avid consumer of internet pornography, is suing several top producers of porn for having made sex commonplace and boring. "There's too much nudity on the internet," he protests. "They've satura...
The talk of the morning news shows on Sunday, February 9, was that cheap software - available to everyone on-line - was used by Edward Snowden to plunder secrets from the NSA. He accessed millions of the country most highly classified documents...
PBS NEWS KCET, LOS ANGELES Transcript of "Ray Asks" Moderator Ray Suarez: Today we begin a three-part series on pornography and violence in America. We are also interested in the question of which of them is most important to American life and also to the extent which they overlap. The connection between actual violence against anyone, rape, and watching violent videos and po...
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A representative for Sweden's Ya Porn Corporation has just stated that Kim Jong Un's sex video is selling out in retail stores faster than it can be stocked on the shelves. Ya Porn reports that the DVD is titled Rice Paddy Girl...
NEW YORK CITY - Santa Claus expert Megyn Kelly appeared on Live With Kelly and Michael. Michael (Strahan) asked her if she had any idea that the arrogant comment she made about Santa being white would have backfired on her the way that it did.
LOS ANGELES - The Southern California-based pornographic film industry appears to now be on the verge of yet another shutdown as a result of an announcement Friday that one of its performers recently tested positive for HIV. Neither the most lik…
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