Pope John Paul II, leader of the Catholic Church for over a quarter of a century, was finally beatified in Rome. Beatificiation is the process where people who are alive decide that a dead person is actually a saint, and elevate them to that level t...
The current Pope Benedict has hit back at critics who say he needs a spectacular like the Royal Wedding to get even bigger crowds and TV exposure than a future head of the Church of England. Unable to stage a similar marriage (at least in public)...
It is called the The Martin Jetpack. You strap it on and fly away, as high as you dare. It is a 553lb, five-foot cube, with twin 1.7ft diameter Kevlar/carbon rotors powered by a 200bhp 2-litre V4 petrol engine. First seen in the James Bond movie "Thu...
Pope Benedict XVI may be granted the opportunity to undertake an official visit to Stephen Ireland as early as 2012 according to sources in Rome. The Vatican has made no announcement about a trip to Stephen Ireland, but Ireland officials have indi...
Pilgrims from Nigeria and neighbouring African countries travelling to the Pope's masses in Lagos (on March 10th to March 13th inclusive) have been told by organisers to use public transport to get there. Parishioners thought they would be using p...
The Wilpons (the owners of the NY Mets) had just announced that they were in the market for a minority stakeholder when the rumors started flying about interested parties. That wonderful song "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" (words by Jack Norworth; l...
After a six-weeks long symposium of theologians and cardinals to discuss the sexual crises in the Church, Pope Benedict, or "Eggs" to his friends, has issued a Bull in which new decrees are laid out for the guidance of the clergy. Cardinal Morone...
Global conglomerate chief executive Eggs Benedict is apparently struggling to find words to fill the air time sopped to him as presenter of BBC's Thought for the Day. "His Roly Polyness iss uncertain how best to reach za British people," said hi...
God has been in contact with Pope Benedict DIVVI over his Papal ruling that condoms are acceptable in extreme circumstances, stating through a burning chrysanthemum bush that there are no extreme circumstances extreme enough to warrant the use of a c...
Following on the heels of Pope Benedict's decision to allow condom use in certain circumstances to guard against the spread of AIDS and other communicable sexual diseases, the Pope has made another landmark decision. The Pope has declared that a s...
Pope Benedict XVI, Captain of all the Catholics, has sensationally revealed that the churches stance on condom use may finally be updated. Until now condoms have been viewed as the Devils sheath. A tool of the gay and promiscuous, morally unaccept...
The Pope, Ratty Von Smallhausen, has issued a clarification of his position on condoms. Pope Von Smallhausen said "Condom use is perfectly acceptable in the following situations: for drug mules, stag-dos and for practical jokers." "Obviously, if a...
After thousands of years of the Catholic Church preaching abstinence, Pope Benedict XVI has shocked the lay world by coming out in favour of the new, thin ribbed, ultra-sensitive, pre-lubed, and Church Blessed "Heavenly Daz" party condoms! A spo...
VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict XVI just increased his popularity by about 500 percent after announcing that he has decided to allow males permission to use condoms. The Pope, aka Joseph "Joey" Aloisius Ratzinger, told a reporter for the Venice Gondo...
(Vatican City) - Papal aficionados have confirmed once and for all that the Pope does indeed "wear a funny hat". The final verdict by the jury of twelve swung convincingly toward the direction of Funny after evidence was produced vis-à-vis a divin...
Dutch politician and member of the ruling coalition Geert Wilders is presently facing charges in the Netherlands for inciting hatred against Muslims because he said, "I've had enough of Islam in the Netherlands; let not one more Muslim immigrate into...
The Vatican ordered Carla Bruni not to accompany her husband, French President Nicolas Sarkozi, on a state visit to the Roman Catholic HQ. Officially, the reason given was that nude and scantily-clad pictures of the former model and singer would b...
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