MANCHESTER - An unemployed poet named Chippington Vexhill, 66, informed his grandmother Dulcinea Vexhill, 102, that as he was reading his copy of The Manchester Morning Manc he suddenly looked down at his plate and got a bit of a fright.
Vexhill said that he had to do a double take, ala Benny Hill, as right there in the middle of his blueberry crumpet he clearly saw an image of one of Pippa Mid...
A secondary teacher in Ashford, Kent has been given a formal reprimand after using a racist poem to explain voting patterns in the U.K.
40 year old social studies teacher Lynus Broadbent was instructing a 3rd year class on electoral trends and was...
The Equal Rights Commission is to sue any U.K. local authority education department which allows the use of the traditional poem "2 Little Dicky Birds" in the classroom.
The ERC, which aims to 'combat discrimination and promote equality', is homin...
Artemis Thunderberg, the reclusive poet, artist, writer and raconteur, who lives in a caravan somewhere near Glastonbury has announced that he hasn't completely ruled out the possibility that he may tour the UK again with his fabulously eccentric one...
Strictly Waffle by Rob Barratt
It's Saturday night - prime time TV
Britain's got strictly no talent X-factory
The opiate of the watching masses
Tune in to tuneless lads and lasses
And get an overdose of the thing we love most
Piffle-paffle, wiffle waffle ... waffle
Not the waffle from your freezer
Not the waffle - belly pleaser
But read from monitors and sheets
Repeated repeatedly on...
This Poem Expresses My Feelings for You
Bob Gates, English Literature Student
My dearest Sarah,
Your eyes twinkle like the stars,
You smell like a rose,
I could bring the moon down for you...I will reach up and take it in my hands, write your name on it, and give it to you. It will be yours until the end of time.
We could live on the mountains...
Do you want the stars? I will roam t...
David Cameron Would Like You to....
To MP's Expense fiddles you will all eventually acclimatise,
Realise MPs do not tell an untruth, or lie they aphorise,
Never force of expect fiddling MPs to apologise,
Support your MP when charges of dishonesty arise,
Not complain when we give ourselves a massive pay rise,
Realise that the poor, we have to bully and brutalise,
Accept for Old...
Where will we find...
An Ode that came to the poet as he was making a cup of tea
Where will we find people so very temperamental?
Where will we find who think fiddling is fundamental?
Where will we find nepotistic people, cruel and mental?
Where will we find scheming people being instrumental?
Where will we find deceit, cheating, and lying elemental?
Where will we find folk wh...
What to expect for 2011.... It's not nice!
Rich will get richer, the poor will become desperately poor,
The prospering ones will be the Etonites, and the epicure,
Politicians, Bankers, Investors, and MPs that's for sure,
Haliburton with good sales of guns, missiles and armour,
Prospects for the unemployed if any, will be very miniature,
Workers will be like Oliver, not permitte...
When the rumours first start, the idea of redundancy is an aggravation,
Once confirmed, those chosen begin to suffer workplace social segregation,
Slowly unavoidably affected by low esteem and cruel self-depreciation,
A half hearted look at the job situation brings great perturbation,
When you increase your efforts, and try to avoid reprobation,
To the job searching you give your be...
Politicians today, are nepotistic, arrogant, and expense fiddlers all told,
Generally their an unsavoury bunch, disliking the plebeians manifold,
Although they do all have a big ever increasing bill-fold,
But not all of them are not as untrustworthy and bad, I behold,
Though they have the unemployed to be bullied, shamed and controlled,
And the unwashed masses must be inveigled, misle...
This Months Top Poems.
Eric Scrondel (Toilet Cleaner)
The toilet pan, is white.
I look into the water.
The smell of the bloke in the toilet next door.
Tells me, he has Diahrria.
Amy Punty (Nurse)
Puke and pus.
Bandage and plaster.
How I look forward.
To my Mince meat dinner.
John Zunit (Window Cleaner)
Wash the glass.
The ladder mov...
Democratic People's Republic of North Korea is proud to announce that esteemed Council for the Arts has awarded coveted Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry to Kim Jong-il for seventeenth consecutive year.
Mr. Kim is well-beloved for finding inspirations...
The Walrus and the Stockbroker
by Stephen D. Gross
The neon puddled in the street
Coney Island bright
the sallow urban blight
and that was odd because it was
a National Heritage Site
Flourescence poured through office panes
and with the neon's glare
exposed the sidewalk's
cracks and stains
which had no business there
"A painted whore" a man complained
by stephen d gross
"I hid in a bush I loaded my gun
Had me too many kids, I refused to abort
I shot me a moose, I was jes' havin' fun
Call me hockey mom, it's a ballbuster's sport"
With your shrill brittle voice
you drill holes in my mind
What ever made you
the dull-witted kind?
"I can still see it bleedin', its guts in the sand
I grabbed me my kn...
I wrote this months ago but I thought people might like to see it again.
Will and Kate by Rob Barratt
Will and Kate, Will and Kate
Better late than never, mate
To wed the future head of state
Though he has a receding pate
I'm sure you'll really get on great,
Will and Kate, will he Kate
Will he want to masturbate
In front of paintings at the Tate?
At a really quite alarming r...
The Pope is just a bloke by Rob Barratt
I know the pope is just a bloke
Jesus was just a man
Mary was no virgin
There is no master plan
Buddha was a human
Homer's wife is Marge
Sikhs and gurus do not know who's
Overall in charge
We all have a birthday
No one lives forever
Bowyers make pork pies
Saints were only people
And some of them were sinners
In the Roma...
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