Those ever creative minds at BP are coming up with endless new possibilities of ways to cap the renegade oil well in the Gulf. These include: Training giant blue whales to dive down, slurp up the oil, then surface and spit the collected oil into a holding ship for processing. Hiring Aquaman or Prince Namor from the comic books to assemble a team of aquatic animals to help out. Those guys can...
NEW YORK - Those who know the name "George Soros" probably remember the phrase "I'm having a very good crisis" as US financial markets hung from a thread at the edge of an abyss. Once again, Soros relishes the misfortune of one of the largest interna...
New Orleans, LA - BP has hired a dozen clowns to replace Tony Hayward as BP's official company spokespersons. Said the Chairman of BP in announcing this change, "We figure at least with clowns, they won't be held to any higher a standard of scrut...
Update, Yet another Day of Prayer has been declared for June 27, 2010, in both Louisiana and Texas as the first Day of Prayer failed to produce results Update #2, July 13, 2010. God still refuses to be swayed by mass prayer, even those pleas by pi...
The U.S. today decreed the Gulf of Mexico be made into the Southern National Petroleum Reserve and will fall under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Military. Much like the little known National Petroleum Reserve that occupies most of northern Alaska adja...
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana - Mixing church and state had explosive results when senators in Louisiana designated Sunday as a day of prayer dedicated to "finally putting an end to the disastrous Gulf of Mexico oil spill, for Pete's sake," according to sta...
Most people these days are angry at British Petroleum for the oil spill but the British do not own the majority of the company. Why is this not coming out? According to records released today in showing how much the BP stock has fallen, it was...
Last week, BP agreed to provide a $20 billion aid fund to assist victims of the oil spill. The money is earmarked to help persons whose homes, businesses, livelihood, or property have been destroyed, damaged, or harmed as a result of the spill (dire...
England - Tony Hayward's boat Bob was leading a yacht race on Saturday when several gigantic tentacles emerged and surrounded his vessel from underneath. The boat was crushed and disappeared from the surface. "It was just horrible," said Sir Elton...
Keifer Sutherland publicly stepped out of reality on Nationwide TV yesterday, claiming that he would wake up tomorrow as Jack Bauer, his '24' alter ego, and solve the crisis in under "60 minutes", give or take an commercial break. However, it can...
While President Obama is back on the golf course and shooting some baskets, BP CEO Tony Hayward is spending the day watching his yacht "Bob" compete in a swank race just off the coast of England. However, a spokesman for Hayward stated that the CE...
Washington, D.C. - This past week, BP's CEO, Tony Hayward appeared before an angry U.S. Congress to answer questions about the disastrous BP oil platform explosion and subsequent oil spill. While many, including the Chairman of BP said following Hayward's performance that Hayward is not up to the challenge of being the "face of BP" during this disaster, one has to wonder if Hayward isn't actually...
The American Congress has been cross examaning the boss of Union Carbide (formerly known as United States Carbide), Chuck Hayward about the appalling accident in Bhophal, India, where thousands of people have been poisoned. Years after the accident children are being born with defects due to the accident. 'This is an attack against America' declared President Obama 'we demand a compensation pac...
Due to the annihilation of the Gulf of Mexico's shrimp population by the BP oil catastrophe, creative coastal cooks have turned to vegetarian shrimp as a substitute. "Our city was built on shrimp," said New Orleans chef Martin Mouton. "Well, actu...
The Gulf Coast disaster is a ploy by aliens to terraform our planet from it's current ecology to the ecology best suited for their race and biology. A well placed researcher in the scientific community has come forward to confess he and others h...
Ever since President Obama and BP announced that BP is putting up an initial $20 billion to pay for any legitimate claims that are filed as a result of damages incurred as a direct or indirect result of the Horizon Gulf oil disaster, people have been...
The reports were few as to the details of the Obama/BP meeting yesterday. The closed door meeting was attended by only a few, but one attendee speaking on condition of anonymity did leak some details to Dylan Ratigan of MSNBC. Evidentially, accord...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
