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Funny satire stories about Oil Spill

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Funny story: George Soros: "I'm Having a Very Good BP Oil Crisis"

George Soros: "I'm Having a Very Good BP Oil Crisis"

NEW YORK - Those who know the name "George Soros" probably remember the phrase "I'm having a very good crisis" as US financial markets hung from a thread at the edge of an abyss. Once again, Soros relishes the misfortune of one of the largest interna...

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Funny story: BP Hires Circus Clowns to Replace Tony Hayward

BP Hires Circus Clowns to Replace Tony Hayward

New Orleans, LA - BP has hired a dozen clowns to replace Tony Hayward as BP's official company spokespersons. Said the Chairman of BP in announcing this change, "We figure at least with clowns, they won't be held to any higher a standard of scrut...

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Funny story: Louisiana State Senate: "This Oil Spill Will Now Cease, by God!"

Louisiana State Senate: "This Oil Spill Will Now Cease, by God!"

Update, Yet another Day of Prayer has been declared for June 27, 2010, in both Louisiana and Texas as the first Day of Prayer failed to produce results Update #2, July 13, 2010. God still refuses to be swayed by mass prayer, even those pleas by pi...

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Funny story: U.S. Claims Gulf As Giant Oil Reserve

U.S. Claims Gulf As Giant Oil Reserve

The U.S. today decreed the Gulf of Mexico be made into the Southern National Petroleum Reserve and will fall under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Military. Much like the little known National Petroleum Reserve that occupies most of northern Alaska adja...

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Funny story: Louisiana Gets the Almighty Blow-off: Pillar of Fire in Gulf Quotes Pontius Pilate

Louisiana Gets the Almighty Blow-off: Pillar of Fire in Gulf Quotes Pontius Pilate

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana - Mixing church and state had explosive results when senators in Louisiana designated Sunday as a day of prayer dedicated to "finally putting an end to the disastrous Gulf of Mexico oil spill, for Pete's sake," according to sta...

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Funny story: Who Owns BP Oil? It's Not The British

Who Owns BP Oil? It's Not The British

Most people these days are angry at British Petroleum for the oil spill but the British do not own the majority of the company. Why is this not coming out? According to records released today in showing how much the BP stock has fallen, it was...

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Funny story: Obama Sends Half Of BP $20 Billion Aid Money To ACORN

Obama Sends Half Of BP $20 Billion Aid Money To ACORN

Last week, BP agreed to provide a $20 billion aid fund to assist victims of the oil spill. The money is earmarked to help persons whose homes, businesses, livelihood, or property have been destroyed, damaged, or harmed as a result of the spill (dire...

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Funny story: Tony Hayward's Yacht Sunk by Davy Jones

Tony Hayward's Yacht Sunk by Davy Jones

England - Tony Hayward's boat Bob was leading a yacht race on Saturday when several gigantic tentacles emerged and surrounded his vessel from underneath. The boat was crushed and disappeared from the surface. "It was just horrible," said Sir Elton...

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Funny story: Keifer Sutherland to block Gulf Oil Leak in under 60 minutes, after 23 hour Pre-amble

Keifer Sutherland to block Gulf Oil Leak in under 60 minutes, after 23 hour Pre-amble

Keifer Sutherland publicly stepped out of reality on Nationwide TV yesterday, claiming that he would wake up tomorrow as Jack Bauer, his '24' alter ego, and solve the crisis in under "60 minutes", give or take an commercial break. However, it can...

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Funny story: Obama Plays Golf, BP CEO Watching His Yacht, Both Worried To Death

Obama Plays Golf, BP CEO Watching His Yacht, Both Worried To Death

While President Obama is back on the golf course and shooting some baskets, BP CEO Tony Hayward is spending the day watching his yacht "Bob" compete in a swank race just off the coast of England. However, a spokesman for Hayward stated that the CE...

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Funny story: What if Tony Hayward Had Spoken Honestly?

What if Tony Hayward Had Spoken Honestly?

Washington, D.C. - This past week, BP's CEO, Tony Hayward appeared before an angry U.S. Congress to answer questions about the disastrous BP oil platform explosion and subsequent oil spill. While many, including the Chairman of BP said following Hayward's performance that Hayward is not up to the challenge of being the "face of BP" during this disaster, one has to wonder if Hayward isn't actually...

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Funny story: Chief Executive Hayward denounced

Chief Executive Hayward denounced

The American Congress has been cross examaning the boss of Union Carbide (formerly known as United States Carbide), Chuck Hayward about the appalling accident in Bhophal, India, where thousands of people have been poisoned. Years after the accident children are being born with defects due to the accident. 'This is an attack against America' declared President Obama 'we demand a compensation pac...

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Funny story: Tofu shrimp hot new trend in Cajun cooking

Tofu shrimp hot new trend in Cajun cooking

Due to the annihilation of the Gulf of Mexico's shrimp population by the BP oil catastrophe, creative coastal cooks have turned to vegetarian shrimp as a substitute. "Our city was built on shrimp," said New Orleans chef Martin Mouton. "Well, actu...

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Funny story: Extraterrestrials Behind Gulf Disaster

Extraterrestrials Behind Gulf Disaster

The Gulf Coast disaster is a ploy by aliens to terraform our planet from it's current ecology to the ecology best suited for their race and biology. A well placed researcher in the scientific community has come forward to confess he and others h...

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Funny story: Obama Picks Judge Judy to Decide Oil Spill Claims

Obama Picks Judge Judy to Decide Oil Spill Claims

Ever since President Obama and BP announced that BP is putting up an initial $20 billion to pay for any legitimate claims that are filed as a result of damages incurred as a direct or indirect result of the Horizon Gulf oil disaster, people have been...

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Funny story: Obama to BP Exec: "Bend Over Bro!"

Obama to BP Exec: "Bend Over Bro!"

The reports were few as to the details of the Obama/BP meeting yesterday. The closed door meeting was attended by only a few, but one attendee speaking on condition of anonymity did leak some details to Dylan Ratigan of MSNBC. Evidentially, accord...

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Funny story: Big Oil Executive Uses Racist Term Against Victims of Oil Spill

Big Oil Executive Uses Racist Term Against Victims of Oil Spill

A war of words has broken out over the use of offensive racial language by a Big Oil executive talking about the victims of the most recent oil spill off the gulf coast. Residents of a tiny Atlantic town in the Gulf Coast region are up in arms abo...

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