Professor Montgomery of a Think Tank located in West Virginia rural area say that they have become alarmed at the both the sightings of UFOs in the sky and a growing list of missing fat people. "We now believe that the connection is that whoever i...
Quirky deceased Rochdale Liberal M.P. Cyril Smith was not fat according to a report commisioned by the Dead Politicians Research Committee. Investigations into his death reveal that he was simply not as tall as he should have been. Cyril should ha...
Sam Adkins of Chicago, Illinois loves to swim and goes to Florida on a regular basis so that he can swim in the ocean and even float on his hairy back. "In the ocean, my weight of 500 pounds feel so light, it's amazing. Also I don't even care if m...
Arizona lawmakers passed a bill Thursday that allows businesses in the state to deny service to LGBT customers on religious grounds. The bill has not been signed by Gov. Jan Brewer (R), who told reporters at the National Governors Association this we...
Rome - Quoting St Matthew 25:35-36 the new Pope said his sudden weight gain has indeed been of Biblical proportions after nuns from the Order of the Holy Obese Family began fattening him up a year ago to make sure he fit in his predecessor's hassocks...
Americans are largely apathetic as their country slides into third world status. The infrastructure is ready to collapse, 1 in 5 kids struggle with hunger, 18 to 32 % are in poverty (it's definitional), 40% of the national budget goes for past, pres...
After years of investigation, Scientists at Dyson's Research and Development labs in Sussex have isolated the single greatest cause of obesity in the western world. "It's the toaster," said Geoff Fry, head of the Single Slice Toaster Development T...
"It's outrageous" ranted Mr. Tristram Lard of Balham, south west London to Spoof reporter Paxton Quigley "There I was minding my own business crossing the high road after a few pints of Old Dogfarter in the Stoat and Gobbler with my shopping trolley...
In an effort to continue the fight against childhood obesity, the first lady has teamed up with several legendary rap and hip hop artists to produce an album sending a strong message against obesity. Insiders have stumbled across potential artists and tracks for the upcoming release. Here is a partial list of what the public may hear: Snoop Dogg "Gin and Juice Smoothie" Lil Wayne...
In a panicked response to Ed Miliband's popular policy of freezing energy prices, Prime Minister David Cameron today made an unscheduled visit to the House of Commons to announce a new personally endorsed initiative to solve his government's energy p...
PHILADELPHIA--A recent study shows that over-eating may be one of the leading causes of obesity in Americans age 9-72. The Foundation for American Thickness Today and Yesterday (FATTY) issued the report last week, detailing the findings of their y...
Young children who do not exercise very much are more likely to perform better in exams as they grow up, according to researchers at the Institute of Obesity, Glasgow. Avoidance of exercise particularly helps girls do better in written exams in P.
With one-third of Americans obese and a full two-thirds overweight, at least some Americans are re-thinking their pigging out. "I work hard every day to bring home the bacon for my family," explains downtown New Yorker Lance Angelo, who, at a mode...
New NHS guidelines for tackling childhood obesity have been unveiled. The measures are to be introduced with immediate effect. It will now be a criminal offence for dieticians to write to parents to advise their child may be "fat", "obese" or a "s...
Obesity is a slow moving, wheezing monster that is slowly gobbling up our country like a Frenchman gorging themselves on so much cheese. As a country we have taken inspiration from the Americans (with their pizza for breakfast ways) and decided that...
CLEVELAND, OH - An Ohio judge ordered Tommy, an obese boy, returned to his mother, Ima Dick, after she completed a year-long, court-ordered college course in diet and nutrition and the boy shed three of his six hundred pounds. Asked how they plan...
DISNEYWORLD, FL - Now that obesity has been declared a disease, Disney World is reopening its Habit heroes exhibit. The "innovention" was closed down, supposedly for "repairs," after parents and educators alike condemned the attraction for "shaming"...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
