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Funny satire stories about Military

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Funny story: Supermarket To Offer Become a Private Military Contracts

Supermarket To Offer Become a Private Military Contracts

Supermarket boss Ms Tess Coe announced last night at the World Supermarket Conference that her supermarkets will begin to offer private military contracts. "Its a move that will secure the world of tomorrow, enable us to branch out into new areas...

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Funny story: Kyrgyzstan Closes U.S. Military Access to Strategic Base

Kyrgyzstan Closes U.S. Military Access to Strategic Base

While in the midst of political and social unrest after the country's recent coup, Roza Otunbayeva, interim leader of Kyrgyzstan, changed her mind early this morning and announced the closing of access to their strategic air base to all U.S. military...

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Funny story: "Touch My Stuff, I'll Kill You" Likely To Replace "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

"Touch My Stuff, I'll Kill You" Likely To Replace "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

Defense Secretary Robert Gates testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday that it is time to end the sixteen-year-old "don't ask don't tell" policy (DADT) restricting the right of gays and lesbians to serve openly in the armed fo...

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Funny story: Captain Juan Busted To Corporal For Failing Short Arms Inspection

Captain Juan Busted To Corporal For Failing Short Arms Inspection

The Spoof Writer (and military commander in an unnamed but competely insignificant banana republic) previously known as Colonel Juan was busted to Captain after being caught naked in a hot tub with several exposed privates. He was busted in rank to...

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Funny story: African dictators back new Obama climate plan

African dictators back new Obama climate plan

After threatening to walk out of climate negotiations, African dictators are back on board after US President Barack Obama put a new offer on the table. 'The offer of $100 billion to help African nations address their urgent climate-related needs...

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Funny story: Obamba to rename war department 'Honor Killing' department

Obamba to rename war department 'Honor Killing' department

WASHINGTON DC - White house press secretary Hairy Hiney today announced that the war department, aka defense department, would be renamed as the Honor Killing department in deference to political correctness. It is felt that this will draw a mor...

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Funny story: Obama lies to troops

Obama lies to troops

Naval Air Station Jacksonville, Florida - President Obama addressed a crowd of GIs about the variety of plans for Afghanistan, none which involve withdrawing as a certain African American candidate had promised over a year ago. He brought smiles a...

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Funny story: Military bows to pressure from NOW

Military bows to pressure from NOW

Ft. Benning, Georgia - For years, the National Organization of Women, has brought pressure to bear upon the United States Military to change their discriminatory stance against women. From outright exclusion, to forbidding them combat roles, NOW h...

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Funny story: Obama Administration Changes "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Obama Administration Changes "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

For many years, the United States Military dealt with homosexuals and other perverts with a policy of "don't ask, don't tell." Soldiers were to keep their non-normal sexual orientations and desires to themselves and not discuss these. With the Ob...

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Funny story: Obama to Disarm U.S. Military and Repeal Second Amendment

Obama to Disarm U.S. Military and Repeal Second Amendment

President Barack Obama, in consultation with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has decided that the time has come to disarm the United States Military. In a press conference at the White House, Obama said that "we have decided that the best way...

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Funny story: Upyakilt

Upyakilt

A factory in China has just reported record orders for police and military uniforms, and fake attachments like walkie talkies, tasers, handcuffs, and riot gear. Our intrepid team of investigative journalists traced the order to a cave in Bradfords...

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Funny story: Military Bake Sale a Success!

Military Bake Sale a Success!

Washington D.C.-The eternal debate over guns or butter took a unexpected twist today, dashing the hopes of the butter-minded. The Pentagon's efforts to raise money by holding a bake sale has produced amazing results! At the end of a three day effort...

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Funny story: Tons of marijuana discovered at school

Tons of marijuana discovered at school

Two and a half tons of marijuana was discovered in an Afghani school, leading authorities to inspect other students' lockers only to discover twice that much in opium stashed away. "These enemy combatants think they can hide their drugs from us?"...

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Funny story: £330 Million Military 'Super-Billet' Opens Doors

£330 Million Military 'Super-Billet' Opens Doors

The biggest army base in the UK has officially opened after a £330 million makeover, with thousands of troops moving to the camp in North Smegmashire. The previous civilian residents of the site, formerly the Smegmadale Asbo Sink Estate, were relo...

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Funny story: NASA Coverup Story - Conspiracy Uncovered

NASA Coverup Story - Conspiracy Uncovered

Nasa's latest news release "NASA probe impeded as giant UFO mothership guards access to Mars opals cave" has been uncovered to be yet another conspiracy coverup of what is really happening in Milky Way galatic-space. According to my own anonamous...

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Funny story: US and UK to Disband Military Forces

US and UK to Disband Military Forces

In a shock and awe statement to the press this morning President Brush, accompanied at the podium by UK Sub-Prime Minister Gordon Brown, declared that the two countries had mutually agreed to disband their respective military forces forthwith. Cit...

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Funny story: English netball team to form their own army

English netball team to form their own army

In London it has just been announced that the English Netball team will endeavour to establish their own military style army so as to promote the sport among young girls in the UK. Wendy Upper-Class-Twit, chairwoman of the British Netball Associa...

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