In 1965, Dr. Theodore "Seuss" Geisel published his war study, Fox in Socks. The final 20% of the book discusses tactics and strategy employed by Tweetle Beetles in battle conditions. One sentence reads, "When beetles fight their battles in a bo...
Unveiling a new series of alternatively fueled war planes yesterday, the U.S. Department of Defense announced a major shift in policy, converting its entire fleet of naval and air combat assets to renewable bio-fuels. "It seems a bit hypocritical"...
Supermarket boss Ms Tess Coe announced last night at the World Supermarket Conference that her supermarkets will begin to offer private military contracts. "Its a move that will secure the world of tomorrow, enable us to branch out into new areas...
While in the midst of political and social unrest after the country's recent coup, Roza Otunbayeva, interim leader of Kyrgyzstan, changed her mind early this morning and announced the closing of access to their strategic air base to all U.S. military...
Defense Secretary Robert Gates testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday that it is time to end the sixteen-year-old "don't ask don't tell" policy (DADT) restricting the right of gays and lesbians to serve openly in the armed fo...
The Spoof Writer (and military commander in an unnamed but competely insignificant banana republic) previously known as Colonel Juan was busted to Captain after being caught naked in a hot tub with several exposed privates. He was busted in rank to...
After threatening to walk out of climate negotiations, African dictators are back on board after US President Barack Obama put a new offer on the table. 'The offer of $100 billion to help African nations address their urgent climate-related needs...
WASHINGTON DC - White house press secretary Hairy Hiney today announced that the war department, aka defense department, would be renamed as the Honor Killing department in deference to political correctness. It is felt that this will draw a mor...
Naval Air Station Jacksonville, Florida - President Obama addressed a crowd of GIs about the variety of plans for Afghanistan, none which involve withdrawing as a certain African American candidate had promised over a year ago. He brought smiles a...
Ft. Benning, Georgia - For years, the National Organization of Women, has brought pressure to bear upon the United States Military to change their discriminatory stance against women. From outright exclusion, to forbidding them combat roles, NOW h...
For many years, the United States Military dealt with homosexuals and other perverts with a policy of "don't ask, don't tell." Soldiers were to keep their non-normal sexual orientations and desires to themselves and not discuss these. With the Ob...
President Barack Obama, in consultation with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has decided that the time has come to disarm the United States Military. In a press conference at the White House, Obama said that "we have decided that the best way...
A factory in China has just reported record orders for police and military uniforms, and fake attachments like walkie talkies, tasers, handcuffs, and riot gear. Our intrepid team of investigative journalists traced the order to a cave in Bradfords...
Washington D.C.-The eternal debate over guns or butter took a unexpected twist today, dashing the hopes of the butter-minded. The Pentagon's efforts to raise money by holding a bake sale has produced amazing results! At the end of a three day effort...
Two and a half tons of marijuana was discovered in an Afghani school, leading authorities to inspect other students' lockers only to discover twice that much in opium stashed away. "These enemy combatants think they can hide their drugs from us?"...
The biggest army base in the UK has officially opened after a £330 million makeover, with thousands of troops moving to the camp in North Smegmashire. The previous civilian residents of the site, formerly the Smegmadale Asbo Sink Estate, were relo...
Nasa's latest news release "NASA probe impeded as giant UFO mothership guards access to Mars opals cave" has been uncovered to be yet another conspiracy coverup of what is really happening in Milky Way galatic-space. According to my own anonamous...
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