Merlin tried to convince people that he could predict the lottery 900 years before Derren Brown. It seems King Arthur's wizard friend is the originator of the trick Brown played out in front of an audience of over 4 million on Channel 4 recently.
London - (Smoke 'N' Mirrors): Treasury mug punters are seething in silence after illusionist Gorgon Brown claimed to have predicted the Lotto draw number results but failed to say how. "Tricks of the trade!" was all his spokesman offered. But...
The most hip and attractive couple on the High Power Tour of 2009 has inflicted a virulent epidemic of full blown Jungle Fever on the decidedly untropical islanders of the UK. Britisher ladies and some lordies have gotten way hot and bothered by the...
In a shock move the government has announced that D Day veterans were to get lottery money. Once the weekly draw is made the money will be siphoned off and given to the old codgers in exchange for votes. In a controversial move the veterans will...
The Government has today announced that taking part in the National Lottery is to become compulsory with immediate effect. The announcement follows on from the revelation that fully half of the Lottery's 'Good Causes' funding now goes on Health, E...
Clarence House - (ReUterus & Sordid Ass Mess): The Heritage Lottery Fund has given £487,500 towards the £725,000 transformation of the Duchess of Cornwall's vagina after her disastrous 2007 hysterectomy operation. A Clarence House spokesman s...
The BBC is in hot water tonight after a new National Lottery mistake appears to have cost at least one member of the public a massive £4million jackpot payout. Terence Alshite, from Dorset, who plays Lotto every week with the same numbers - 5, 8,...
Following his re-sale of Alaska to the Russians, Gov. Blogojevich announced a World Lottery to choose the new 50th State of the Union. When it was pointed out that his unilateral actions had nullified the flag and many people's collections of Stat...
National Lottery operator Camelot has apologised to customers after a technical problem left lottery players across the country unable to buy their tickets as usual. The "network communications issue" had affected those wishing to buy tickets in s...
Chancellor Alistair, Darling has today unveiled the government's latest plan which he says is needed to save the UK from a deep and long-lasting recession - he will invest more government money on the National Lottery. The National Lottery, says D...
Some say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but can it be too early? Apparently not, if the behavior of wood frogs is any indication. Those amphibians can learn to identify winning lottery numbers while still in the egg, according to new researc...
Scientists who have spent the last 20 years looking further and further out into space in order to understand what happened billions of years ago, have announced a stunning new discovery. By turning the Hubble Telescope round a bit, astonished b...
Washington,DC/ Wall Street Journal - Secretary of the Treasury, Henry Paulson, today proposed a national lottery to dispose of a significant amount of sub prime mortgages in default. Paulson's plan would mandate that state lotteries no longer use...
Alastair Darling was disappointed when his plan to revive the UK economy failed late on Friday. "I had 4 numbers on the Euromillions and 1 lucky star." said Alastair. "If I had got the other main number and another lucky star we'd have been laughi...
New Britain, Connecticut - Holding no animosity against God for allowing her to win one million dollars in the Connecticut state lottery in the autumn of her life, Rose Marie-Mathews, a great-great-great grandmother at 88, instead thanks him for havi...
The National Audit Office, the Government spending watchdog that doesn't actually watch dogs, or for that matter take a really great interest in Government spending, has obtained Lottery money to employ a new case study worker. This funding has co...
A man from Leicester has told how he cashed-in on unclaimed National Lottery Jackpots with tickets he, himself, made on a homemade printing press in his garden shed. John Swagg, 42, told detectives of his scheme after he was apprehended at a local...
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