A flock of seagulls flies through the night city air high over the houses, and is momentarily illuminated by a security light in the garden, of one of those houses. Thunderous sounds coming from the city center not too far away, seem to have brought them here. As they pass overhead, their squawks sound increasingly desperate, but then seconds later, they begin to lighten up. The fireworks continu...
Fearful of the possibility that to much health food will be consumed at the upcoming Olympic Games, drastic action has been taken a newly established regulatory body at the heart of the operations directorate of London 2012. The Committe for Organ...
Monday 16th July 2012 Topic: Tony Blair - Politics "Tony Blair announces that he would be returning to British politics" Source: Express Extract: Blair announced that he would be returning to British politics last night to contribute to Labour policy as an adviser. The former Prime Minister, who was attending an event alongside Labour leader Ed Miliband announced that he would contribute to a...
Olympic Warm Up Match - Team GB 0 Brazil 2 Team GB were outclassed by Brazil at The Riverside with first half goals from Sandro and Neymar. Just as well we didn't play them on the beach. Is it too late to instate David Beckham in the squad? Glad All Over Crystal Palace have announced the appointment of comedian and life long fan Eddie Izzard as Director. Their fans could do with a laugh.
Due to the heavy rain forecast for the London Olympics, changes are having to be made to some of the events. This has meant that Usain Bolt will no longer be competing in the hundred metre sprint, and will instead be competing in the hundred metre bu...
Stephen Hawking, world famous for his robotic voice*, has been selected for the Team GB Olympic squad. While this may come as a surprise to many it hasn't for the Professor who said "Why not? Sports psychologists are always saying that excellence in...
Speaking from his 1960's retro-themed council tower block in Titchfield, Hants this evening, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily declared that in his opinion, Home Secretary, Theresa May, is "a brain-dead muppet" with no tangible grip on reality, a...
The three members of the Cheltenham and District Darts Club have been roped in at the last minute to compete for the British Javelin team after it was discovered that Britain's current medal hopes have all been struck down with Repetitive Strain Inju...
After the uproar by the US Congress over the discovery that the 2012 US Summer Olympic Uniforms were all made in China, it was announced today the 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be made by a US Company. Standing outside the US Capitol, Sneaker of th...
In a mixup worthy of a Seb Coe cross-dressing party, Oliver Pistorius has been entered into the 400m Hurdles instead of his chosen event, the 400m. This is a huge setback for team South Africa. Whilst Pistorius has recorded a sub 45 second time in...
London - "Don't worry, old son," is how Lord Coe put it to Danny Boyle at lunchtime today, "no one's bound to even notice!" The remarks come amid fears that royal codgers 'like the Queen and Prince Philip' will never survive sitting through the Sl...
Unscheduled lane closures are causing another headache for London 2012 Olympic Games organisers adding to the security and logistical nightmare that has already tarnished the games with delays, tailbacks and congestion anticipated. Due to resurfa...
Stratford, LONDON: In the tunnel at Stratford Railway Station, entrance gate for the London 2012 Olympics venue, there is a busker singing just like Ralph McTell, the old tune the 'Streets Of London'. Let us listen to those words; Have you seen the military men In the closed-down market on Green Street Kicking up the paper, with his worn out Army boots? In his eyes you see no pride for...
With G4S's massive shortfall in security personnel for the Olympics, pound shops up and down the nation have given permission for their security guards to step in and fill the breach. "They're very good," said Quid Pro Quo owner, Jeremy Stirling.
A newspaper editor has apologised today after a typo error suggested that the behaviour of Chelsea footballer John Terry was a threat to the well being of the London 2012 Olympics. The headline should have read 'terror threat' referring to Al Quai...
London - A nasty outbreak of Tinea Pedis or foot ringworm has arrived in London and is heading straight for the Olympic Village. Foot-in-Mouth Olympic sources said this afternoon they are dealing with the problem by making competitors walk through...
Ministers have denied there is to be a shortfall in security in the coming Olympic Games. They insisted this was an "oversight" and security is to be expected at full capacity. Brian Binns, MP for Heathrow and Gatwick said "I don't know what all...
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