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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: Katie Holmes reveals to NBC why she left Tom: Cruise didn't think Strug's vault in the '96 Olympics was all that special

Katie Holmes reveals to NBC why she left Tom: Cruise didn't think Strug's vault in the '96 Olympics was all that special

Some people speculated that he was gay. Others assumed that the creepy Scientologists who were following Katie's every move finally got to her. But last night, Katie Holmes told Bob Costas that the real reason she was leaving Tom was because he "didn...

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Funny story: US First Lady's diplomatic immunity status queried by London Games stewards

US First Lady's diplomatic immunity status queried by London Games stewards

London - "If we catch her sneaking in an illicit jam sandwich or surreptitious non-indigenous kebab inside that designer First Lady's rucksack of hers there'll be hell to pay for, mate," Olympic Games stewards insisted today as news of the controvers...

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Funny story: Parking furor over US Olympic Security's billion-dollar rapid response HQ

Parking furor over US Olympic Security's billion-dollar rapid response HQ

London - It's designed to be scrambled at a moment's notice and uses high-tech electronic wizardry not seen outside the Pentagon's International Space Station Olympic command centre. This morning the existence of the CIA's secret mobile London HQ...

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Funny story: Pigs will fly at Olympics opener

Pigs will fly at Olympics opener

Director Danny Boyle has controversially agreed to demands from leading animal rights groups to drop live animals at Friday's opening ceremony of the London Olympics. Unfortunately for the animal rights lobby, he appears to have taken their ex...

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Funny story: London Warned Not To Approach Dancing Policemen!

London Warned Not To Approach Dancing Policemen!

The government issued a warning to the public this evening not to approach any dancing policemen they might see in London during the next few days This evening's government warning, announced by David Cameron from Number 10, came after police stat...

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Funny story: A Guide to Plymouth, Devon (past Exeter), where Olympic Boy Diver Tom Daley lives

A Guide to Plymouth, Devon (past Exeter), where Olympic Boy Diver Tom Daley lives

A flock of seagulls flies through the night city air high over the houses, and is momentarily illuminated by a security light in the garden, of one of those houses. Thunderous sounds coming from the city center not too far away, seem to have brought them here. As they pass overhead, their squawks sound increasingly desperate, but then seconds later, they begin to lighten up. The fireworks continu...

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Funny story: Athletes to eat Big Macs and Coca-Cola only for London 2012

Athletes to eat Big Macs and Coca-Cola only for London 2012

Fearful of the possibility that to much health food will be consumed at the upcoming Olympic Games, drastic action has been taken a newly established regulatory body at the heart of the operations directorate of London 2012. The Committe for Organ...

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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 21st July 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 21st July 2012 - with comments

Monday 16th July 2012 Topic: Tony Blair - Politics "Tony Blair announces that he would be returning to British politics" Source: Express Extract: Blair announced that he would be returning to British politics last night to contribute to Labour policy as an adviser. The former Prime Minister, who was attending an event alongside Labour leader Ed Miliband announced that he would contribute to a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 22nd July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 22nd July 2012

Olympic Warm Up Match - Team GB 0 Brazil 2 Team GB were outclassed by Brazil at The Riverside with first half goals from Sandro and Neymar. Just as well we didn't play them on the beach. Is it too late to instate David Beckham in the squad? Glad All Over Crystal Palace have announced the appointment of comedian and life long fan Eddie Izzard as Director. Their fans could do with a laugh.

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Funny story: Usain Bolt predicted to win the 100m Butterfly

Usain Bolt predicted to win the 100m Butterfly

Due to the heavy rain forecast for the London Olympics, changes are having to be made to some of the events. This has meant that Usain Bolt will no longer be competing in the hundred metre sprint, and will instead be competing in the hundred metre bu...

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Funny story: Stephen Hawking surprise selection for Team GB squad.

Stephen Hawking surprise selection for Team GB squad.

Stephen Hawking, world famous for his robotic voice*, has been selected for the Team GB Olympic squad. While this may come as a surprise to many it hasn't for the Professor who said "Why not? Sports psychologists are always saying that excellence in...

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Funny story: Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Speaking from his 1960's retro-themed council tower block in Titchfield, Hants this evening, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily declared that in his opinion, Home Secretary, Theresa May, is "a brain-dead muppet" with no tangible grip on reality, a...

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Funny story: Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

Cheltenham Dart Team form the British Javelin Medal Hopes

The three members of the Cheltenham and District Darts Club have been roped in at the last minute to compete for the British Javelin team after it was discovered that Britain's current medal hopes have all been struck down with Repetitive Strain Inju...

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Funny story: US 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be American Made, Well at Least the Boxes they're Packaged in

US 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be American Made, Well at Least the Boxes they're Packaged in

After the uproar by the US Congress over the discovery that the 2012 US Summer Olympic Uniforms were all made in China, it was announced today the 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be made by a US Company. Standing outside the US Capitol, Sneaker of th...

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Funny story: Oliver Pistorius selected to run Hurdles at 2012 Olympics

Oliver Pistorius selected to run Hurdles at 2012 Olympics

In a mixup worthy of a Seb Coe cross-dressing party, Oliver Pistorius has been entered into the 400m Hurdles instead of his chosen event, the 400m. This is a huge setback for team South Africa. Whilst Pistorius has recorded a sub 45 second time in...

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Funny story: Danny Boyle ordered to slash another 3 hours from 'tortuous' £27million Olympic Opening Ceremony

Danny Boyle ordered to slash another 3 hours from 'tortuous' £27million Olympic Opening Ceremony

London - "Don't worry, old son," is how Lord Coe put it to Danny Boyle at lunchtime today, "no one's bound to even notice!" The remarks come amid fears that royal codgers 'like the Queen and Prince Philip' will never survive sitting through the Sl...

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Funny story: Lane Closures Now Contributing To Olympic Chaos

Lane Closures Now Contributing To Olympic Chaos

Unscheduled lane closures are causing another headache for London 2012 Olympic Games organisers adding to the security and logistical nightmare that has already tarnished the games with delays, tailbacks and congestion anticipated. Due to resurfa...

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