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Funny satire stories about Liverpool

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Funny story: Elton John Says He Hates Madonna

Elton John Says He Hates Madonna

LONDON - Elton John did not take too kindly to Madonna insinuating that Lady Gaga had gotten the idea for her song "Born This Way" from Madonna's song "Express Yourself." The 65-year-old British singer/songwriter recently performed at Liverpool's...

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Funny story: Panic as bus arrives on time in Liverpool

Panic as bus arrives on time in Liverpool

At 10.20am British Transport Police responded to an incident on St. Mary's Road, Garsten, Liverpool, following a 999 call that a bus' timely arrival had compromised cherished national satisfaction with mediocrity. The current standard by which the bu...

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Funny story: Joey Barton, banned, beaten and "bovvered"!

Joey Barton, banned, beaten and "bovvered"!

Outspoken kicker of Argentinian soccer players, banned Joey Barton, has got a taste of his own medicine in his home town called Liverpool. He was out clubbing (should have known better than to do it there!) in Liverpool after a stressful season at QP...

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Funny story: Weird St Valentine's karma as Kate Middleton micromanaged into Liverpool rehab trip

Weird St Valentine's karma as Kate Middleton micromanaged into Liverpool rehab trip

Liverpool - A trip to a Scouser dry bar in Liverpool city center has been fixed up by some moronic puppet master pulling the Palace's Valentine's Day strings. Tuesday's visit by Kate Middleton is flummoxing Merseyside teetotallers who reckon she s...

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Funny story: Transfer Deadline Day: Liverpool sign Celtic

Transfer Deadline Day: Liverpool sign Celtic

In one of the more unexpected transfer deadline day deals Liverpool have signed the entire playing squad, coaching staff and fan base of top Scottish club Glasgow Celtic. Kenny Dalglish, Liverpool manager and also one of Celtic's most legendary pl...

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Funny story: Liverpool council re-introduce slave boats!

Liverpool council re-introduce slave boats!

Liverpool council are contemplating refurbishing the Liverpool dock area and one of the harbours is to be their "flag-ship" because of a lucrative offer by slave-drivers to have their ships docked there. Liverpool, one of the main hubs for ancient...

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Funny story: Gerrard extends Premier League Winner indemnity

Gerrard extends Premier League Winner indemnity

Steven Gerrard has extended his current Premier League Winner indemnity agreement with Liverpool for an undisclosed period of time, the club have announced. The midfielder negotiated an extension to his existing indemnity with the Merseyside outfi...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton to become a Scouser for new reality show

Kate Middleton to become a Scouser for new reality show

The Duchess of Cambridge is to become a volunteer helper at her local scouse group as part of a new package of royal patronages. Kate will wear the Scouse Association's distinctive red luis suarez t-shirt, scarf and famous 1980s permed wig as she...

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Funny story: Liverpool Unemployment Shock

Liverpool Unemployment Shock

A new study has revealed the astonishing fact that there are now 3.9 million households in Britain where not one person works, and whose only income consists entirely of welfare benefits. The study, which was undertaken by the Confederation of Dis...

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Funny story: Kop In New Race Row

Kop In New Race Row

It's just been revealed that fans in Anfield's famous Kop end got involved in yet another race row as the FA cup tie against Oldham Athletic drew to a close on Friday evening. According to St John's ambulanceman, Jimmy Clackett, Kop season ticket...

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Funny story: Merseyside: croissant thief on the rampage

Merseyside: croissant thief on the rampage

Police have finally arrested a man with a minor speech impediment after a series of robberies at bakers' shops. During the last few weeks, the man had robbed nearly all the bakeries in Liverpool, each time using the same disguise. According to the...

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Funny story: Copycat thefts as Derby robbed of all its Christmas lights in £20k burglary

Copycat thefts as Derby robbed of all its Christmas lights in £20k burglary

THIEVES have robbed a city of all its Christmas lights... and even stole the lorry workers were going to use to put them up. They made off with the £20,000 haul from a council storage area in Derby, just seven days before the big switch-on ceremony.

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Funny story: Abuse down to my skin colour, not my being a reprehnsible twat, insists Evra

Abuse down to my skin colour, not my being a reprehnsible twat, insists Evra

Manchester United full-back Patrice Evra has highlighted his skin colour as being the key factor in the on-field abuse he continually receives from opposition players, rather than his being a reprehensible twat for most of his working day. The Fre...

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Funny story: Labour Party Conference Stolen in Liverpool

Labour Party Conference Stolen in Liverpool

Ed Miliband has admitted at the end of Labour Party Conference that holding it in Liverpool had been a bad idea. "We'd always assumed that the image of Liverpudlians as thieving scoundrels who'd sell their granny's cardigan in winter was nothing m...

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Funny story: Manchester United And Chelsea Serve Up Slapstick Fun

Manchester United And Chelsea Serve Up Slapstick Fun

Sunday's "massive" football fixtures provided no end of fun for fans watching on TV according to a local expert. Sky viewers were able to enjoy Spurs' demolition of Liverpool 4-0, before the football feast was continued as Manchester United beat C...

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Funny story: Liverpool man turns into a raging werewolf, literally!

Liverpool man turns into a raging werewolf, literally!

As if the UK didn't have enough to worry about it seems that many of their young males are turning into werewolves, literally! A Liverpool man, better known as a beastly Scouser, had a punch-up outside a very dubious club called the Funky Box (a p...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, wears a dress

Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, wears a dress

Taking the worlds of fashion by storm, as it was raining really heavily at the time, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge arrived at a Royal Engagement wearing a dress. The Royal Engagement of Prince Kevin of Mayo to Princess Chardonnay of Toxteth...

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