Scientists in Cern (Switzerland) have said that the Large Hadron Collider - LHC for short - may take at least 6 months to repair after it blew a gasket in October. However they are fully committed to restarting the experiments, which are hoped to re...
Swedish scientists working on the LHC (Large Hardon Collider) in Geneva believe that they have today discovered the 'big one' thought to be one of the key components of blue matter. Black Hole The existence of the Biggs Hoson has long since bee...
The large hadron collider was restarted today in a bold attempt to find the missing chocolate particle predicted by scientists since the famous J.S.Fry experiments of the last century. Research then suggested that along with the 5 chocons (despera...
Professor Hugh Jarse was left red faced when it was revealed that the recent experiments using the Large Hadron Collider were responsible for the global financial crisis. The top British boffin explained "When we started the experiment we, as pred...
The Hadron Collider, that machine that was built to recreate the conditions just after the Big Bang, has been stolen, and has fallen into the hands of that arch-villain from the James Bond films, Ernst Blojob. That's the storyline of the brand new...
In a new development, the Large Hadron Collider has shed new light on the mystery surrounding Elvis Presley's hotly debated death or continued low profile existence. The collider provided valuable information on Friday that indicated Elvis may in...
The Large Hadron Collider experiment was put on hold for a few months after scientists at CERN were forced to switch off the device. Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse was on hand to explain. "It is quite straight forward actually. We are no...
Earlier this month the scientific world's bespectacled anorak gang, aka the Mensa Morons, with more degrees than a thermometer and less common sense that a business of lemmings, posed, quaffing firkins of champagne and grinning like Cheshire cats.
GENEVA (FMLiveWire) -- The world's newest and biggest particle accelerator the Large Hadron Collider was wrecked by a miniature black hole it created and will not begin operations again until April, officials at CERN revealed this week. The machin...
Geneva: The Big Bang machine stopped working today after it developed the Blue Screen of Death. Said Cerns director Professor Wolfgang "Yes we can confirm the Hadron Collider stopped today due to the blue screen of death, a common fault in windows...
GENEVA, Switzerland - Concerns that the Large Hadron Collider might destroy the Earth proved unfounded on Wednesday, but scientists warned that they may instead have accidentally destroyed God shortly after powering up the machine. Detectors in th...
Scientist today reveal the full success story of the LHC as they switch it off for a few months to cool down, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern) says. A spokesperson said it simply fantastic, "We knew at the outset that just col...
Leading sports analysts are at a loss to explain the recent football match victory by a Spurs team. Ambulances had to be called to the stadium shortly after the final whistle as hysterical fans poured out into Tottenham High Road, one man had to b...
The Hadron Collider has claimed its first life following its dramatic switch on at 8.30am on the 10th September. Despite the EU's attempts to suppress the news, a leaked memo to the Alderley Edge branch of the Co-op Funeral Home has confirmed this...
NewsDesk Geneva, Switzerland: A group of young scientists from CERN were arrested last night while partying at a popular nightspot for scientists in Geneva. Reports coming in state young revellers in the Quantum Pub were arrested while stripping...
European bankers have now admitted that they rigged the results of the Large Hadron Collider - which runs beneath Switzerland, Germany and France - in order to create an implosion in the American financial system. "We were really upset that Credit...
Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like...
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