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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider to save world if it doesn't destroy it

Large Hadron Collider to save world if it doesn't destroy it

Scientists in Cern (Switzerland) have said that the Large Hadron Collider - LHC for short - may take at least 6 months to repair after it blew a gasket in October. However they are fully committed to restarting the experiments, which are hoped to re...

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Funny story: Large Hardon Collider Discovers Biggs Hoson

Large Hardon Collider Discovers Biggs Hoson

Swedish scientists working on the LHC (Large Hardon Collider) in Geneva believe that they have today discovered the 'big one' thought to be one of the key components of blue matter. Black Hole The existence of the Biggs Hoson has long since bee...

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Funny story: New Munchon Particle Discovered

New Munchon Particle Discovered

The large hadron collider was restarted today in a bold attempt to find the missing chocolate particle predicted by scientists since the famous J.S.Fry experiments of the last century. Research then suggested that along with the 5 chocons (despera...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider responsible for the credit crunch

Large Hadron Collider responsible for the credit crunch

Professor Hugh Jarse was left red faced when it was revealed that the recent experiments using the Large Hadron Collider were responsible for the global financial crisis. The top British boffin explained "When we started the experiment we, as pred...

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Funny story: Hadron Collider The Subject Of New Gay James Bond Film

Hadron Collider The Subject Of New Gay James Bond Film

The Hadron Collider, that machine that was built to recreate the conditions just after the Big Bang, has been stolen, and has fallen into the hands of that arch-villain from the James Bond films, Ernst Blojob. That's the storyline of the brand new...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider reveals all about Elvis

Large Hadron Collider reveals all about Elvis

In a new development, the Large Hadron Collider has shed new light on the mystery surrounding Elvis Presley's hotly debated death or continued low profile existence. The collider provided valuable information on Friday that indicated Elvis may in...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider activity delayed

Large Hadron Collider activity delayed

The Large Hadron Collider experiment was put on hold for a few months after scientists at CERN were forced to switch off the device. Top UK scientist Professor Hugh Jarse was on hand to explain. "It is quite straight forward actually. We are no...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider Quarked-up after Wrong Sort of Big Bang

Large Hadron Collider Quarked-up after Wrong Sort of Big Bang

Earlier this month the scientific world's bespectacled anorak gang, aka the Mensa Morons, with more degrees than a thermometer and less common sense that a business of lemmings, posed, quaffing firkins of champagne and grinning like Cheshire cats.

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Funny story: Hadron Collider Wrecked by Black Hole It Created, Down for Repairs

Hadron Collider Wrecked by Black Hole It Created, Down for Repairs

GENEVA (FMLiveWire) -- The world's newest and biggest particle accelerator the Large Hadron Collider was wrecked by a miniature black hole it created and will not begin operations again until April, officials at CERN revealed this week. The machin...

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Funny story: Blue Screen of Death knocks out the Big Bang Machine

Blue Screen of Death knocks out the Big Bang Machine

Geneva: The Big Bang machine stopped working today after it developed the Blue Screen of Death. Said Cerns director Professor Wolfgang "Yes we can confirm the Hadron Collider stopped today due to the blue screen of death, a common fault in windows...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider Destroys God by Accident

Large Hadron Collider Destroys God by Accident

GENEVA, Switzerland - Concerns that the Large Hadron Collider might destroy the Earth proved unfounded on Wednesday, but scientists warned that they may instead have accidentally destroyed God shortly after powering up the machine. Detectors in th...

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Funny story: Huge Success for the Large Hadron Collider

Huge Success for the Large Hadron Collider

Scientist today reveal the full success story of the LHC as they switch it off for a few months to cool down, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern) says. A spokesperson said it simply fantastic, "We knew at the outset that just col...

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Funny story: Large Hadron Collider blamed in Tottenham win shock

Large Hadron Collider blamed in Tottenham win shock

Leading sports analysts are at a loss to explain the recent football match victory by a Spurs team. Ambulances had to be called to the stadium shortly after the final whistle as hysterical fans poured out into Tottenham High Road, one man had to b...

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Funny story: Hadron collider "Big Bang" claims first human victim

Hadron collider "Big Bang" claims first human victim

The Hadron Collider has claimed its first life following its dramatic switch on at 8.30am on the 10th September. Despite the EU's attempts to suppress the news, a leaked memo to the Alderley Edge branch of the Co-op Funeral Home has confirmed this...

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Funny story: CERN scientists arrested for obscenity

CERN scientists arrested for obscenity

NewsDesk Geneva, Switzerland: A group of young scientists from CERN were arrested last night while partying at a popular nightspot for scientists in Geneva. Reports coming in state young revellers in the Quantum Pub were arrested while stripping...

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Funny story: Swiss Role in American Jam

Swiss Role in American Jam

European bankers have now admitted that they rigged the results of the Large Hadron Collider - which runs beneath Switzerland, Germany and France - in order to create an implosion in the American financial system. "We were really upset that Credit...

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Funny story: Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression

Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression

Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like...

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