Following complaints of misogyny, racism and the perceived glorification of violence, the James Bond production team have been forced to rebrand their hero. Says a spokesperson for "Dikes on bikes", (a sexual health and fitness club) "He's white,...
Former American President George W Bush was today chosen to become the new James Bond. But as times have changed since Sean Connery portayed the special agent in the 1960s, Mr. Bush will be a rather different Bond from Connery, Moore, Brosnan, et al.
Daniel Craig, the new James Bond actor who is loved and worshiped by all movie fans under the age of 16, was recently voted the worst James Bond by the vast majority of people in the English speaking world over the age of 25 (to include those under t...
London - Those planning on seeing the new Bond movie Quantum of Solace need not bother. Quantum of Solace is Bollocks front to start. Not like the old Bond classics that kept you on the edge of your seat gripping popcorn, my word. Craig's a bit short and too blond for my liking as well. No Connery or Moore in my books he is. Action it has, loads and heaps of mayhem from the start, good fodd...
The Libertines once sang, "wouldn't it be nice to be Dorian Gray! Just for a day!" The model of hedonism and revelry. To live life eternally young and beautiful! But why would Pete Doherty want to be somebody who is eventually killed in the end? I rather much fancy being our favourite unpredictable triple numbered spy! 1. You'll not just be agent seven, but agent double O seven 2. You get to...
London, England - The world premiere of the new James Bond film in London's Leicester Square was marred by revelations that human remains have been discovered on the film's set. Quantum of Solace stars Daniel Craig and Judi Dench were strutting th...
A teenage girl who has seen the movie has labeled the latest outing in the James Bond franchise, Quantum of Solace, "shit" Mary Porter, 15, said it was " a bit shit" and that lead actor Daniel Craig was "an ugly, grumpy bastard". Mary, who has...
Following on from the last English spy, Johny English, the latest James Bond fails to meet the high comic standard we have come to expect. Famous stand up comic, Roger Moore, "eyebrow" to his friend, was hard to follow in the most famous role sinc...
The Hadron Collider, that machine that was built to recreate the conditions just after the Big Bang, has been stolen, and has fallen into the hands of that arch-villain from the James Bond films, Ernst Blojob. That's the storyline of the brand new...
3-year-old Leona Baxter, the MI6 agent who jumped down a storm drain in Durham, in an attempt to capture an enemy agent, is livid at media bosses who in reporting the story, mentioned her name, and have, allegedly, blown the little girl's cover. E...
There was great excitement today as EON Productions, the owners of the James Bond franchise, announced that Bond is to become female, and that the next person to take the role of 007, will be a 3-year-old girl from Leeming, North Yorkshire. The gi...
Fictional spy James Bond is said to be embarassed by the number of weak puns and quips he has made in his life. The super smooth agent, with a license to kill, a penchant for Martinis, shaken and not stirred, and an eye for the ladies is said to b...
ABBA, the 1970s Swedish supergroup, have reformed, and are to go back on the road again with a brand new world tour accompanied by former James Bond star Pierce Brosnan.
Prince William, the Royal Warmonger, has landed his first acting role as the new James Bond in the next 007 blockbuster, Casino Royal Flush.
The actor Roger Moore has made a sensational statement by claiming 'under fight conditions' he would win a fight with the character James Bond.
A lucky British man escaped being cut in half by a giant laser while strapped to a metal table by a wealthy German evil genius. James Bond was captured and taken to a top-secret lair located inside an artificial volcano, where he was...
Sebastian Faulks was tasked with coming up with writing the first new Bond book in 40 years. Faulks was chosen to write the book by surviving members of Ian Flemings family, and yet some are questioning his motives amid claims he is 'cashing-in&#...
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