TV big hit 'Dead Idol' is half way through it's new season and recently departed Big Brother celebre Jade Goody is way ahead in the voting. Judge Paula who admitted that her doctor told her that if she keeps boozin on down the road she will join...
The funeral of the late reality TV star Jade Goody next Friday, is to be attended by more than 1,000 members of the British National Party, and will feature a full 21-gun salute and other niceties, including a speech by a prominent party member. U...
London - (Seedy Ass Mess): In a startling development this afternoon lawyers acting for fetid former come-back kid Bill Clinton obtained a gagging order forbidding UK media from publishing his DNA paternity test results re Jade Goody. The feckless...
The UK Society Of Alzheimer's Sufferers has written to Jade Goody wishing her a speedy recovery after they remembered she had been diagnosed with cancer. "We wish this woman well - and hope she is soon back on our TV screens soon" repeated spokesm...
Since the death of newly canonized St Jade Goody, the Reality TV show that catapulted her to heaven itself has been appointed Secretaries of British education. Parliament spokesperson, Lady Pop Kulture Pearls explained: "For years now we h...
Lawyers for the estate of the late Jade Goody have sued a large multi-national candy making company for trademark infringement in International Courts (through the United Nations). Attorney Mark Schaeffer said that "we have determined that the com...
To Ongar in Essex where a cloud of melancholy hangs over the town following the premature death of its most celebrated resident, Jade Goody. The Essex horizon, normally obscured by the smoke from burning tyres, schools, mattresses or abandoned ve...
Renee Zelwegger has been chosen to play Jade Goody in the upcoming Hollywood feature. "I'll be able to use my Bridgit Jones accent again although I will have to Dick Van Dyke it up a lot." said miss Zellwegger. Madonna will be playing Jade's moth...
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London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Jade Goody is to be stuffed in a new cryptozoology exhibition at London's Unnatural Hystery Museum. The legendary self-publicist's post-taxidermy body will form part of a spectacle of creatures from myths, lege...
Brian Harvey has stepped into the breach to fulfill his destiny playing Jade Goody in the new west end musical celebrating her life. He'll perform opposite Blake Fielder-Civil who'll star as Jack Tweed. Barry Bossanova, theatre owner and impres...
I have obtained a secret memorandum outlining the details of Jade Goody's planned State Funeral, which is reproduced below: Memorandum FROM: The Office of Max Cash, PR to the Chavs TO: The Rt Hon Gordon Brown MP, Prime Minister Sir Paul Stephenson, Metropolitan Police Commissioner The Most Reverend Father in God, Rowan Williams, by Divine Providence Lord Archbishop of Canterbury, Prim...
Jack Tweed, the grieving husband of the late Jade Goody, who is facing a second jail term this week, has revealed plans to register the Jade Goody name as a trade mark with a view to living off it for the rest of his life. Tweed, who will hear on...
The Royal mint has announced it is to release a commemorative coin to celebrate the life of 'Everyone's Heroine' the suddenly not racist anymore Jade Goody. The coin, will be issued to all British school children (apart from ethnic minorities) - j...
An official source has today confirmed that Jade Goody, who announced her death this weekend, will be making her grand comeback on Easter Sunday in a biblical spectacular fashion. A tomb has been designed and constructed at a top secret London stu...
The Entire Nation was moved today by the total dedication of Jade Goody's 21 year old newly wed husband Jack. Speaking from Sunny Portugal her distraught but somewhat tanned publicist told the press that not once did the courageuous Jack leave Jad...
London - (Probate Ass Mess): In a prenup deal brokered by Rogue Bank of Snotland's ex-CEO Sir Fred Goodwin Jade Goody's husband Jack Weed will inherit over a million pounds in royalties from her intellectual (sic) property rights. Weed, 21, was b...
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