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Funny satire stories about Heathrow

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Funny story: Crash-land pilot praises screw

Crash-land pilot praises screw

Heathrow Airport - (Belly-Flop Mess): In a vindication of the Mile High Club's code of conduct the pilot of the belly-flopping Boeing 777 that crash-landed at Heathrow Airport yesterday praised his co-pilot's performance in the cockpit.

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Funny story: Crash Pilot Was 'On the loo'

Crash Pilot Was 'On the loo'

A British Airways jet that crash landed at Heathrow was being controlled by a small child, 6 year old Jimmy Feckless, it has been revealed.

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Funny story: Hero BA Pilot Removed Flying Helmet and Finished Cup of Tea

Hero BA Pilot Removed Flying Helmet and Finished Cup of Tea

The British Airways pilot who saved the lives of 151 crew by bouncing his 150,000 ton Boeing 777 over Heathrow's perimeter fence, adjusted his cravat, finished his cup of tea and ejaculated, "Dashed bumpy landing there, what...

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Funny story: BA Confirm Heathrow Weather to Blame for Boeing Crash

BA Confirm Heathrow Weather to Blame for Boeing Crash

A spokesman for British Airways today confirmed that the recent atrocious weather was entirely to blame for yesterdays dramatic crash landing at Heathrow involving 136 passengers.

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Funny story: Prince William crashes plane at Heathrow

Prince William crashes plane at Heathrow

There was chaos at Heathrow airport today when Prince William, who started his flying lessons today, crashed a full British Airways jumbo as he came into land.

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Funny story: Emergency landing at Heathrow Airport "not caused by Terrorists"

Emergency landing at Heathrow Airport "not caused by Terrorists"

Police have revealed that an emergency landing of an airplane at Heathrow Airport was not the result of terrorist activity. Flight BA38 arrived from China and almost crash landed on a runway at the busy airport. Three passengers were reported to be s...

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Funny story: BA tests new Boeing swing-wing jumbo

BA tests new Boeing swing-wing jumbo

Heathrow Airport - (Aviation Mess): British Airways successfully tested the new swing-wing Boeing 777 jumbo jet at Heathrow Airport today in full view of UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown who was sitting in his own Beijing-bound jetliner just yards away...

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Funny story: New Third Runway Will Save a Million Plastic Bags

New Third Runway Will Save a Million Plastic Bags

FEARS THAT a new third runway at Heathrow will lead to environmental damage were quashed today by a new report which shows that it will actually save the world. The report states that the new runway, with its associated new terminal,...

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Funny story: Deathrow for Heathrow

Deathrow for Heathrow

The M25 of the aviation world, Heathrow, has half baked five radical new 'pilot' schemes to combat its growing over use.

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Funny story: Disruption at Heathrow Protests

Disruption at Heathrow Protests

It seems the bad weather which dogged the UK in July is continuing as torrential rain hits east London.

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Funny story: Holiday Hell: Bags Held Up At London's Heathrow Airport

Holiday Hell: Bags Held Up At London's Heathrow Airport

London Heathrow's Terminal 4 was closed down today after the British Prime Minister convened an emergency meeting of Cobra, the UK government's civil contingencies committee.

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Funny story: Heathrow plans to fingerprint travellers

Heathrow plans to fingerprint travellers

Bloody Awful Airports (BAA) have released plans to fingerprint all travellers through its airports, starting with Heathrow, so that it "can find the bugger that keeps touching our clean windows!" Exclaimed an airport employee, adding "...

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Funny story: BAA admits Heathrow baggage tagging a waste of time, but a nice earner

BAA admits Heathrow baggage tagging a waste of time, but a nice earner

Just days before bags at Heathrow are to be tagged with expensive RFID tags in the desperate hope that they'll solve the ailing airports baggage problems, Bloody Awful Airports (BAA) Ltd have admitted that they will make little t...

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Funny story: Heathrow Baggage Handlers Struggling To Pilfer Timeously

Heathrow Baggage Handlers Struggling To Pilfer Timeously

Management at Heathrow Airport have taken on an extra one hundred baggage-handling staff to 'rifle through' a backlog of thousands of items of luggage that has accumulated as a result of the recent te...

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Funny story: Five Iraqi Hostages Captured At Heathrow

Five Iraqi Hostages Captured At Heathrow

After the kidnap of five British hostages in Baghdad earlier this week, Mr Blair's government has reacted in kind by capturing five Iraqi hostages of its own, and subjecting them to the kind of "hostile treatment" that many foreigners in Britain have...

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Funny story: Brand spanking new Airbus A380 stolen at Heathrow

Brand spanking new Airbus A380 stolen at Heathrow

The world's newest and largest commercial airliner, the A380 was stolen today during a stop over at Heathrow airport while under going a test flight from Toulouse.

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Funny story: Heathrow to Put Waiting Time to Good Use - Free ‘Personal' Exams

Heathrow to Put Waiting Time to Good Use - Free ‘Personal' Exams

London -- Keeping passengers happy during the now super-long waits at the check-in desk can be a challenge. Managers at London's Heathrow may have solved the problem, they say, by filling the frustrating enduro-time wasted on line with the offering o...

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