New York, NYC - (Rotters): FBI agents are studying reports that a 2015 Manhattan-wide temporal lobotomy** triggered a former bigwig prosecutor’s unsolved drive-by shooting according to statements plagiarised from a Russian fake news site. This mo...
SAN FRANCISCO - As politicians in Washington DC struggle with whether or not walls can do anything, one point of debate concerns the flow of drugs on the southern border. In a shocking revelation from a member of Congress, only 10% of Illegal Drug Sh...
BILLINGSGATE POST: BUZZNUTTS, the official source of leaks from Mueller’s Special Counsels Office, verified that the albino raccoon hairpiece that was given to Mr. Trump by Vladimir Putin shortly after he was elected will be indicted. The controver...
BILLINGSGATE POST: If anyone believed President Trump would throw the towel in after seeing Roger Stone in shackles, they should think again. It was earlier reported that Robert Mueller had approved of a Tomahawk Missile strike on Roger Stone i...
Tamper, Florida - (Rumpy-Dumpy News): Bob Mueller’s Rasher Inquiry took a dramatic new turn today with the arrest of an old mucker pal of President Don T Rump. Ex-GOP pork bellies peddler Roger Stoned got a 6am federal house call at his Tamper, F...
Washington, D.C. President Trump lost a little spring in his step when it was revealed that the Mueller Investigation would continue because its funding isn't affected during a government shutdown. Trump was even more nervous when he found out th...
St. Moritz, Switzerland - Please, do not make the "Shock-Face".... The standard, reassuring sympathy in a quiet voice saying - "golly, we never saw this coming" is enough. You know, I know, and WE ALL KNOW that this story could have been written two years ago. Can you remember the day when you saw "The Head of the CIA" (or some other "Top Intel Official") on a women's morning talk show? ... And t...
Galápagos Islands, Ecuador - (Agencies, Associated Mess): There are reports this weekend that FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed a dozen indigenous Ecuadorian ‘bird watchers’ in the ongoing Rump Golden Showers Witch *unt probe. Pap...
WASHINGTON DC - Representatives for the FBI have announced that First Lady Melania Trump may be implicated on capital crimes related to Witchcraft and Russian Collusion in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Although a large number of law enforcem...
Mr. Bin Salman’s dream was recovered via Google’s new app DreemSeen2.0—available only to those who can afford it, as with himself. The app downloads to expensive phones, requiring a plug-into-earhole function when sleeping. A surgically impla...
The clean bill of health given by the FBI to Brett Kavanaugh has opened a fresh can of worms filled with convicted sex offenders who are also demanding new four day FBI investigations to clear their collective names. Attorney General Jeff Session...
Ordered to further investigate Mr. Kavanaugh over a six day period, the FBI is now up for the Sir Speedy DDI (“due diligence investigation”) Award for 2018. The award is reputed for its “no-stone-unturned” and “no-keg-ignored” approach to Supreme...
With the FBI Investigation ending at any moment, analysts now believe Mr. Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court can move right ahead. Given the limitations to the FBI, as with a time-limit of one week, the likelihood is: Candidate AOK.
Sunspot, New Meh-he-co--”No” was all a spokesperson for the Federal Bureau of Obfuscation would say in response to Fake News reporter Ida Dunt-No's question, “Was the National Solar Observatory shut down because astronomers saw aliens?” Director C...
In the wake of recent developments, our secret sources are starting to leak details of the high-stakes negotiations going on between President Trump’s team and the small army of FBI investigators lead by Special Investigator Robert Mueller. Both...
For days, Democrats have been hinting at a major announcement coming out of Robert Meullers office; today the bombshell turned out to be the indictment of the President’s 12 year old son Barron. Mueller himself made the announcement, with a gleam in...
Washington, DC In another sign that the Mueller team charges with investigating Russian Collusion is closing in in the President himself, the French Poodle “Fifi”, a gift from the President to his wife Melania, has been detained by FBI special age...
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