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Funny satire stories about Drugs

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Funny story: Phobias now Curable. Guaranteed!

Phobias now Curable. Guaranteed!

Medical scientists in America have taken a keen interest in the discovery by Dr. Bedafford of the Brighton and Sussex Medical School who successfully cured a patient of Arachnophobia accidentally when he had the man's damaged left amygdala removed.

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Funny story: Vatican mobile library seized with 4kg of cocaine

Vatican mobile library seized with 4kg of cocaine

France - A Vatican mobile lending library belonging to the Pope's Argentinian colleague Retired Cardinal Jorge Mejia, 93, has been busted in Lyon for peddling cocaine. Police say four kilos of 95% pure Colombian coke was confiscated along with hal...

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Funny story: VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

Are you feeling left out of the action? Is the world passing you by without you being able to make any kind of difference? Are you full of discontent with the political situation in America but have neither the time nor the inclination to delve into the relevant issues to find out what's really going on? Well, fear not! The solution is at hand. VITRIOL (reg. trademark) from BS Laboratories c...

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Funny story: Meandering Through The Medicine Cabinet

Meandering Through The Medicine Cabinet

Why is it that in this age of enlightened attitudes from the new generation of modern families and forty-something hipsters-wannabes is there still a wholly unrounded perception towards those who 'do' drugs? My days of indulgence were sadly snatched away from me upon the birth of my son. My last joint was rolled and flamed on the very day he was born. I had spent all night at the hospital, th...

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Funny story: Conspiracy Theory Breakthrough

Conspiracy Theory Breakthrough

A new drug has been developed to combat what its manufacturers' claim is an increasing rise in what it calls "conspiracy theory syndrome". We went along to F.U. Pharamceuticals in Baltimore to interview leading research scientist there Dr. Hugh.B.Still. I asked the doctor: "Do you believe there is a need for this drug?" "Our research shows that the need is overwhelming. We see the syndrom...

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Funny story: Police Say Suspected Meth Actually Lye Soap, Charge Feisty, 126-Year-Old Southern Widow

Police Say Suspected Meth Actually Lye Soap, Charge Feisty, 126-Year-Old Southern Widow

Y'ALL COME BACK NOW, BELLAIRE, OHIO -- Authorities have determined they mistakenly believed a Harrison Street resident was cooking meth, and instead have found that the suspect -- a feisty old wisp of a woman with Southern roots -- was making lye soa...

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Funny story: Crack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment

Crack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment

Crack dealers have probably been hit hardest in the recent recession. That, and the proliferation of cheap pharmaceuticals on the Internet. "We can't give this stuff away anymore. People just aren't into smoking crack anymore. Why go to all the...

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Funny story: Mexican Earthquake Killed By Drug Cartel

Mexican Earthquake Killed By Drug Cartel

A powerful magnitude-7.2 earthquake that shook central and southern Mexico on Friday was abducted by one of the country's most dangerous drug cartels, then tortured and disemboweled, with its epicenter ending up in the swimming pool of an Acapulco ar...

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Funny story: Why it's getting harder to back a winner

Why it's getting harder to back a winner

Aintree ought to be buzzing with anticipation of todays Grand National, but instead there are disturbing claims that many of the entrants are hooked on recreational drugs. And we don't mean the jockeys, we mean the HORSES! Rumours of horses takin...

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Funny story: D.A.R.E. Expects Best Year Ever

D.A.R.E. Expects Best Year Ever

Inglewood, CA (Washington Post) - the Drug Abuse Resistance Eduction program, D.A.R.E. or simply DARE as it is ubiquitously known, announced today that it expects 2014 to be its most successful year ever. DARE is an educational outreach program in...

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Funny story: New Game Show 'Drug Deal Or No Deal" To Feature Hollywood Superstars

New Game Show 'Drug Deal Or No Deal" To Feature Hollywood Superstars

American TV Network NAC has announced plans to commission a new game show featuring Hollywood actors and actresses titled "Drug Deal or No Deal". The show will be hosted by Charlie Sheen, and will premiere on March 19, 2014, on NAC. The hour-lo...

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Funny story: Top cheapskate drug lord Joaquin 'El Cheapo' Guzman arrested in Mexico

Top cheapskate drug lord Joaquin 'El Cheapo' Guzman arrested in Mexico

Mexico - The cut-price narcotics discounter was apprehended by Mexican marines at the coastal town of Mazatlan in Sinaloa State this morning while trying to negotiate a new bulk purchase deal on a consignment of his fabled Chupacabra Headf**k Bud.

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Funny story: Nude New Yorker At McDonalds Not Doing Well

Nude New Yorker At McDonalds Not Doing Well

Whatever he was up to, an unnamed male (at present) suddenly appeared in New York McDonalds and ran into a lot of trouble. "He actually got in the back door", stated an employee that someone forgot to relock after going out back for a break. He ha...

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Funny story: F-35 Joint Strike Fighter drones should be deployed to stamp out illicit reefers says DEA boss

F-35 Joint Strike Fighter drones should be deployed to stamp out illicit reefers says DEA boss

Washington - "Stands to reason," DEA head of operations James L Capra told a Senate hearing this week, "that's what these Joint Strike drones were invented for, long distance destruction of reefers and chillums." Capra was pleading to save his ass...

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Funny story: Dodgy smack wrap suspected in Philip Seymour Hoffman RIP

Dodgy smack wrap suspected in Philip Seymour Hoffman RIP

New York - Cops searching the West Village home of Oscar winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman said today a suspicious wrap of toxic heroin may have killed him after similar poisonous substances were seized in New York in as part of an online Super Bo...

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Funny story: An Unemployed Banana Picker In Costa Rica Finds $4 Million [U.S.] In His Trash Can

An Unemployed Banana Picker In Costa Rica Finds $4 Million [U.S.] In His Trash Can

SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - An unemployed banana picker named Joey Caramba has just become the luckiest man in Central America. Caramba was at his home putting some trash in his garbage can. As he took off the trash can lid he noticed two blue bags wer...

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Funny story: Dolly Parton: Are you sure Justin Bieber is not from Alabama?

Dolly Parton: Are you sure Justin Bieber is not from Alabama?

County superstar Dolly Parton is no fan of Justin Bieber and thinks he makes the rednecks back in the Ozarks look like Ralph Lauren Models. "What is up with this kid and his parents?" an exasperated Parton said after a recent concert in Nashville.

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