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Funny satire stories about Dorking

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Funny story: Dorking Crab Boat Mothballed

Dorking Crab Boat Mothballed

It's bad news from Dorking, as the town's last remaining Bering Sea crab boat has been mothballed, due to financial constraints, and being unable to compete with their Alaskan counterparts, such as those featured on Discovery Channel's 'Deadliest Cat...

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Funny story: The Beginner's Guide Special Edition: Ten Things To Know About Dorking

The Beginner's Guide Special Edition: Ten Things To Know About Dorking

Due to the popularity of our 'Beginner's Guide' series, we have decided to print a selection of periodicals covering more specific subjects. Currently in the making is our 'Season's' selection, and we will also be publishing certain topical items, the first of which is our 'Halloween' special. Look out for these soon. But the first of our Special Edition's is devoted to Dorking. That histori...

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Funny story: Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

A local man who was reported missing four days ago has been located, "safe and unsound", after an astonishing tip-off to his whereabouts from a 'remote-viewer' thousands of miles away in the USA, say Dorking police. Paul Twist, of 23 Abercorn Stre...

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Funny story: Colonel Gadaffi Finds New L'oeuf of his Life

Colonel Gadaffi Finds New L'oeuf of his Life

The Hiding place of the Libyan dictator Colonel Gadaffi has been revealed and its going to shock the world. That's because the sneaky Colonel has been hiding the whole time right under the noses of British Generals in a Cafe called "The All Day Lybi...

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Funny story: 'The Dorking Review' Flies Off The Shelves...In Worthing...And Dorking...

'The Dorking Review' Flies Off The Shelves...In Worthing...And Dorking...

A strange new book, entitled 'The Dorking Review' may not be taking the world by storm, but it's going down a bomb in Worthing...and, surprisingly enough, Dorking. Booksellers and librarians in the aforementioned towns report receiving orders and...

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Funny story: Outrage as Cocks*cking is Banned in Dorking

Outrage as Cocks*cking is Banned in Dorking

In a controversial move that is sure to arouse fierce opposition, Dorking Council have passed a motion to ban a millennia-old folk tradition amongst the inhabitants of the genteel Surrey town. "We'll take this outrageous decision to the European C...

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Funny story: Dorking 'Taking Things Apart' Club AGM a Success

Dorking 'Taking Things Apart' Club AGM a Success

A turnout of more than 30 members was reported at the Dorking 'Taking Things Apart' Club AGM, held in the function room of the White Lion last Thursday. Following the traditional raising of glasses to late founding member Paddy O'Ginster, Club President, Reg Dishcloth, opened the proceedings by expressing delight at seeing so many old faces together with many members of the recently formed 'Jun...

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Funny story: Organ playing Dorking pensioner in rhubarb scandal

Organ playing Dorking pensioner in rhubarb scandal

A Dorking vegetable grower has barricaded himself in his garden shed after being accused of stealing rhubarb from an adjoining allotment. Retired maths teacher Cyril Nonce, aged 88, had been reported to the police by his vigilant next door neighbo...

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Funny story: Dorking pensioner had a shed load of one inch Hitlers

Dorking pensioner had a shed load of one inch Hitlers

A pensioner nicknamed 'Der Fuhrer' has been arrested at a Dorking car boot sale for spreading Nazi propaganda. The local recluse, Adolf Nonce , lives in a bungalow just outside Dorking called 'The Berlin Bunker'. Herr Nonce, who according to h...

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Funny story: Sex Addict W.G.Grace was Ryan Giggs of the Victorian Age

Sex Addict W.G.Grace was Ryan Giggs of the Victorian Age

'Research' coming out of deepest Surrey suggests that Eminent Victorian and free scoring batsman W.G.Grace was a sex addict. Dr Grace, who represented Gloucestershire, England, The Gentleman and The MCC has been described in a talk given by Eric...

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Funny story: Maths teacher from Dorking banned from watching Ladies Tennis

Maths teacher from Dorking banned from watching Ladies Tennis

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce has been refused entry to this year's Eastbourne Open Ladies Tennis Tournament. Happily married Nonce, 69, from Dorking, was ejected from the court last time round after "looking up ladies' skirts". Eastbourne...

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Funny story: Brit launched into space on Stairlift

Brit launched into space on Stairlift

Barely 50 years after the USSR and USA first put a human into space, the UK yesterday finally achieved the same giant leap in rocket technology - when 97 year old Edith Pickles became the first British astronaut put into permanent orbit by a wholly B...

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