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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Injured in Doctors surgery incident!

Wayne Rooney Injured in Doctors surgery incident!

Wayne Rooney, the Manchester United and England footballer, has picked up an injury at his Doctors Private Surgery, and will miss the next two matches for his team. Dr E. Coli's nurse, Gaye Hooker explained to our reporter what took place in the D...

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Funny story: Magic mushrooms are good for brains, say neurosurgeons

Magic mushrooms are good for brains, say neurosurgeons

A team of neuroscientists and brain surgeons have found that ingesting magic mushrooms really does help when it comes to tricky brain problems. Over a six month trial period at a Ruffcutts Hospital, they ingested magic mushrooms before carrying ou...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Steven Gerrard agrees to new long term contract

Transfer Window: Steven Gerrard agrees to new long term contract

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard has signed a new long-term contract which will effectively see him end his career with the same doctor. The 31-year-old scouser, who came through the ranks at Liverpool, first appeared at the surgery back in Novemb...

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Funny story: Dirty Limericks by Gynecologists

Dirty Limericks by Gynecologists

We at The Spoof continually strive to advance public knowledge of important medical knowledge. Because of our lowbrow readership, this often means sneaking edifying knowledge into otherwise unsophisticated entertainments. Therefore we hope to aid the public health situation by turning over our popular dirty limericks column to gynecologists. Our guest columnist this month is Dr. Charles Thadwa...

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Funny story: A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup. Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to...

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Funny story: Elderly Patients Being Commenced To Death Pathway With Non-Terminal Conditions

Elderly Patients Being Commenced To Death Pathway With Non-Terminal Conditions

Elderly hospital patients are being assessed by doctors as dying and then commenced onto something called 'The Liverpool Care pathway' even though they may not be presenting any known terminal condition. The 'care' pathway, originally designed to be...

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Funny story: Doctors warn 'Avoid Weak Ends'

Doctors warn 'Avoid Weak Ends'

Doctors are warning patients to avoid weak ends if they want to live a bit longer. Chairman of the British Medical Association, Dr Timeoff, declared quite openly that being ill could be a problem if you were vulnerable with weak ends. 'Not only ha...

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Funny story: Pub landlords, kebab shop proprietors and massage parlor pros to sit on new sick note panels

Pub landlords, kebab shop proprietors and massage parlor pros to sit on new sick note panels

London - Stripping doctors of the tedious duty of writing sick notes has been approved by the Government. From next month independent panels of local specialists will be in charge of signing off sickness benefit candidates in a long awaited clampd...

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Funny story: General Practitioners To Monitor The Unemployed

General Practitioners To Monitor The Unemployed

The General Medical Council has reportedly issued new guidelines for GPs, directing them to question patients regarding their current employment status and offering advice on how a return to employment can be advantageous to their health and wellbein...

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Funny story: We'll continue to treat OAP's as despicably as we do everybody else, insist NHS doctors

We'll continue to treat OAP's as despicably as we do everybody else, insist NHS doctors

Doctors ordered to show old people more respect by NHS management have denied they need to change their methods, saying old people would continue to be treated just as despicably as everybody else in their stead. The British Medical Association al...

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Funny story: Local Man Planning to Do Something

Local Man Planning to Do Something

Local Man and One Time Wannabe Entrepreneur, Seaton Carew, today announced that he was considering a return to actually doing something to see if it would be noticed. Carew, previously an ex-thespian and almost ran, has admitted that he hasn't don...

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Funny story: A Noted Gynecologist Has Issued A Very Stern Warning To The Women of Wisconsin

A Noted Gynecologist Has Issued A Very Stern Warning To The Women of Wisconsin

SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - Due to the horrible state of the nation's economy many people are trying to find ways to save money. Some are making their own tomato juice by using one part ketchup to 600 parts water. A couple in New Hampshire rented out t...

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Funny story: Acupuncturist convicted of sexual assault

Acupuncturist convicted of sexual assault

An acupuncturist who probed deeper than was necessary has been charged with sexual assault and sentenced to 20 months in jail, followed by three years on probation. The Supreme Court convicted Kang Van Lam, 59, of sexually assaulting the women at...

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Funny story: Doctor's Recommendations

Doctor's Recommendations

This is a sequel to the news presentation which was reported in the previous week's bulletin, titled: "Expert Warns of Risk of Death." For the information of readers who may have missed the previous column, the presentation was given by Lafra Dablawala, PhD (Bakwas Institute, Dodogoro, LOK) who authored the article published in the prestigious "Ghanta Journal of Medicine." After discussing t...

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Funny story: Jay Leno Considering Having Chin Reduction Surgery

Jay Leno Considering Having Chin Reduction Surgery

HOLLYWOOD - The host of The Tonight Show recently stated that he is beginning to feel self-conscious about his gigantic chin. Jay Leno talked freely with iRumors reporter Ling Chow Rangoon in his dressing room at Studio FU-199347 located on the lo...

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Funny story: Secret Shame of the NHS

Secret Shame of the NHS

It is the secret shame of the NHS, but they have a higher percentage of smokers than any other workforce in England. "The typical percentage of smokers in industry," said Minister for Health, Phil Hammond, "is about five percent. This includes typ...

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Funny story: Doctors' "shock and outrage" at news they are to be done over like the rest of us

Doctors' "shock and outrage" at news they are to be done over like the rest of us

Doctors' leaders today angrily reacted to the news that they were to be treated like every other poor sod. Senior GPs and Consultants looked up from charging around in Range Rovers, guzzling Claret and refusing to do home visits long enough to not...

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