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Funny story: Massive DNA Test Taken At Rallies Show 100% of Protestors Are Cousins

Massive DNA Test Taken At Rallies Show 100% of Protestors Are Cousins

In the biggest single DNA test in history which were taken across the country at T-Bagger rallies, results show that 100% of the attendees are cousins! A spokesman for the testing company stated...."We thought we knew the results before we began..

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Funny story: Horse genome fully sequenced by mad scientist

Horse genome fully sequenced by mad scientist

DENVER, Colo - A scientist is mad because horse genes match his so closely, he suspects a horse is his father. According to my source, Dr. Mare, the genes of a wild Arabian have been completely decoded by the mad scientist, a Dr. Whinny. The work...

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Funny story: Baltimore Not to Ban Plastic Bags, Considers a DNA Data Base

Baltimore Not to Ban Plastic Bags, Considers a DNA Data Base

Baltimore MD: The Baltimore City Council had considered a resolution to ban the use of plastic supermarket bags. Activists had proposed substitutes, such as paper bags, reusing existing bags or a city tax of five cents per plastic bag. Bowing to...

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Funny story: New DNA Coding Discovered

New DNA Coding Discovered

Washington DC: The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released new findings relative to DNA research being conducted at their laboratory facilities. The DNA replication sequence has been further decoded, providing some very startling results. Sam...

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Funny story: Stealing DNA is now illegal

Stealing DNA is now illegal

The UK in conjunction with the European Union have made it illegal to obtain DNA without consent. In the past criminals have been caught after leaving a coffee cup or cigarette butt behind after an interview. This will no longer be an acceptable w...

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Funny story: How was DNA discovered?

How was DNA discovered?

On October 18, 1962, Drs. Watson, Crick, and Wilkins won the Nobel Prize for Medicine for work in determining DNA. At first, Watson and Crick had a lot of problems. Watson figured out "D," but didn't know what the hell to do with it. Then Crick accidentally stumbled upon the "N," but couldn't determine whether it should be "DN" or "ND." Then, one day, Wilkins who was emptying the boys' wa...

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Funny story: New DNA Research Shows Irish Are Neanderthals

New DNA Research Shows Irish Are Neanderthals

Philadelphia PA-- Stunning new research from a major university here is sending shockwaves throughout the world. DNA sequencing of Neanderthal bone marrow indicates "man's cousin" never went extinct. They are the Irish.

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Funny story: Scientists discover 'annoying gene'

Scientists discover 'annoying gene'

Break-through research carried out by scientists at the University of Hindley, Lancs, has identified a gene in women that mutates when they reach their 40's. They have also discovered in tests carried out on women ranging from 45-70 years old, th...

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Funny story: Queasy thief fingered by his own vomit

Queasy thief fingered by his own vomit

A budding Australian criminal who was so nervous during a hold-up that he was physically sick has been incriminated by his own disgusting pool of puke.

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Funny story: Easter solution sought over marshmallow chick embryo vote

Easter solution sought over marshmallow chick embryo vote

Health Secretary Big B. Johnson has said an "accommodation" will be reached for MPs who are opposed to parts of a controversial embryo research bill.

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Funny story: UK DNA Register Put on Hold and Quickly Forgotten About

UK DNA Register Put on Hold and Quickly Forgotten About

Middle England's enthusiasm for a national DNA database fell away dramatically last night after police revealed that the DNA register will include people committing minor offences regardless of class such as speeding, dropping em...

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Funny story: Elusive Gay Gene Identified

Elusive Gay Gene Identified

(San Francisco, Nov 20) After a long and arduous search, scientists at the University of California, San Francisco, have finally identified the elusive "Gay Gene". He is Eugene Nobody of Pacific Heights. Eugene , who was previously know o...

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Funny story: Buckingham Palace Agrees to DNA testing

Buckingham Palace Agrees to DNA testing

London -- Prince Harry, the youngest son of Prince Charles will be undergoing DNA tests Buckingham Palace revealed today. Initially, the tests were thought to be ordered to verify his princely paternity, as spurious reports about Princess Diana and...

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Funny story: Elvis was the King Clone - more to follow!

Elvis was the King Clone - more to follow!

According to 'The Scalpel' medical journal, it was revealed that in the not-so-distant future, when scientists have perfected the cloning technique, they have decided that each person should have a copy, which would be stored...

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Funny story: DNA - 1 UK - 0

DNA - 1 UK - 0

London, Eng-er-land. - Scientists at the Institute of Physical Jerks in Norway believe they have isolated the rogue genetic sequence that causes British athletes to consistently blunder at important sports events.

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Funny story: Scientist Claims US Presidents have Lower Levels of Intelligence than other World Leaders

Scientist Claims US Presidents have Lower Levels of Intelligence than other World Leaders

One half of the team that first calculated that structure of DNA was the double helix, James Watson has created uproar by claiming that 'U.S. Presidents are genetically predisposed to having lower I.Q's than Leaders from...

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Funny story: Fury at DNA pioneer's theory: Jews are more intelligent than the rest of us

Fury at DNA pioneer's theory: Jews are more intelligent than the rest of us

One of the world's leading scientists was entangled in a furious row last night after he claimed that Jews were more intelligent than the rest of us.

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