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Funny story: Stealing DNA is now illegal

Stealing DNA is now illegal

The UK in conjunction with the European Union have made it illegal to obtain DNA without consent. In the past criminals have been caught after leaving a coffee cup or cigarette butt behind after an interview. This will no longer be an acceptable w...

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Funny story: How was DNA discovered?

How was DNA discovered?

On October 18, 1962, Drs. Watson, Crick, and Wilkins won the Nobel Prize for Medicine for work in determining DNA. At first, Watson and Crick had a lot of problems. Watson figured out "D," but didn't know what the hell to do with it. Then Crick accidentally stumbled upon the "N," but couldn't determine whether it should be "DN" or "ND." Then, one day, Wilkins who was emptying the boys' wa...

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Funny story: New DNA Research Shows Irish Are Neanderthals

New DNA Research Shows Irish Are Neanderthals

Philadelphia PA-- Stunning new research from a major university here is sending shockwaves throughout the world. DNA sequencing of Neanderthal bone marrow indicates "man's cousin" never went extinct. They are the Irish.

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Funny story: Scientists discover 'annoying gene'

Scientists discover 'annoying gene'

Break-through research carried out by scientists at the University of Hindley, Lancs, has identified a gene in women that mutates when they reach their 40's. They have also discovered in tests carried out on women ranging from 45-70 years old, th...

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Funny story: Queasy thief fingered by his own vomit

Queasy thief fingered by his own vomit

A budding Australian criminal who was so nervous during a hold-up that he was physically sick has been incriminated by his own disgusting pool of puke.

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Funny story: Easter solution sought over marshmallow chick embryo vote

Easter solution sought over marshmallow chick embryo vote

Health Secretary Big B. Johnson has said an "accommodation" will be reached for MPs who are opposed to parts of a controversial embryo research bill.

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Funny story: UK DNA Register Put on Hold and Quickly Forgotten About

UK DNA Register Put on Hold and Quickly Forgotten About

Middle England's enthusiasm for a national DNA database fell away dramatically last night after police revealed that the DNA register will include people committing minor offences regardless of class such as speeding, dropping em...

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Funny story: Elusive Gay Gene Identified

Elusive Gay Gene Identified

(San Francisco, Nov 20) After a long and arduous search, scientists at the University of California, San Francisco, have finally identified the elusive "Gay Gene". He is Eugene Nobody of Pacific Heights. Eugene , who was previously know o...

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Funny story: Buckingham Palace Agrees to DNA testing

Buckingham Palace Agrees to DNA testing

London -- Prince Harry, the youngest son of Prince Charles will be undergoing DNA tests Buckingham Palace revealed today. Initially, the tests were thought to be ordered to verify his princely paternity, as spurious reports about Princess Diana and...

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Funny story: Elvis was the King Clone - more to follow!

Elvis was the King Clone - more to follow!

According to 'The Scalpel' medical journal, it was revealed that in the not-so-distant future, when scientists have perfected the cloning technique, they have decided that each person should have a copy, which would be stored...

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Funny story: DNA - 1 UK - 0

DNA - 1 UK - 0

London, Eng-er-land. - Scientists at the Institute of Physical Jerks in Norway believe they have isolated the rogue genetic sequence that causes British athletes to consistently blunder at important sports events.

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Funny story: Scientist Claims US Presidents have Lower Levels of Intelligence than other World Leaders

Scientist Claims US Presidents have Lower Levels of Intelligence than other World Leaders

One half of the team that first calculated that structure of DNA was the double helix, James Watson has created uproar by claiming that 'U.S. Presidents are genetically predisposed to having lower I.Q's than Leaders from...

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Funny story: Fury at DNA pioneer's theory: Jews are more intelligent than the rest of us

Fury at DNA pioneer's theory: Jews are more intelligent than the rest of us

One of the world's leading scientists was entangled in a furious row last night after he claimed that Jews were more intelligent than the rest of us.

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Funny story: DNA To Become Compulsory For All

DNA To Become Compulsory For All

A senior judge has said today that DNA should become compulsory for all UK residents, and for all those visiting the UK, whether it be for business or for pleasure.

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Funny story: Scientists discover anti-abortionist genome

Scientists discover anti-abortionist genome

London - (Ass Mess): Scientists working in the National Poisons Unit special DNA branch have made a breakthrough in the quest to identify the genome responsible for producing anti-abortionists.

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Funny story: DNA Proves Winehouse is Shergar

DNA Proves Winehouse is Shergar

DNA tests today proved that gravel voiced singer Amy Winehouse is in fact missing horse Shergar.

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Funny story: CIA maps Bush genome

CIA maps Bush genome

Langley, Virginia - (Ass mess): Forensic psychiatrists working at the optimistically named President George Herbert Bush Center for Intelligence (sic) - CIA HQ have completed their forty year study into the mutant DNA structure of the Bush family.

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