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Funny satire stories about Congress

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Funny story: New Year delayed after Congress fails to reset date ceiling

New Year delayed after Congress fails to reset date ceiling

Washington DC - America will have to spend an extra week in 2013, thanks to the latest congressional mishap. It seems that the House and Senate failed to reset what is known as "the date ceiling" before leaving on holiday recess, an oversight th...

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Funny story: U S Government Policy Shifting to Bread and Circuses

U S Government Policy Shifting to Bread and Circuses

The desires of the American people are finally being heard in Washington.After feeding the American People to a huge monster we call Big Data, and after over a decade of sending the low-income and worthy overseas to be shot at; Congress and President...

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Funny story: "Worst Congress" flees into desert following speeches and banquet at annual celebration

"Worst Congress" flees into desert following speeches and banquet at annual celebration

Yesterday, with a nine percent approval rating as the "worst Congress in history," current members proceeded to their annual celebration somewhere in the Arizona desert. All did not end well, however, as Senator Reid explained, staring gravely int...

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Funny story: Twas the Night Before Congress (with apologies to Clement Moore)

Twas the Night Before Congress (with apologies to Clement Moore)

Twas the night before Congress, and all through the House Not a creature was stirring, except for some louse Who took down the stockings hung by the chimney with care In hopes that a square meal might soon be there. Poor children were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of breakfast danced in their heads. Their mom in her work clothes, and dad with no job Looked long at their chi...

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Funny story: Proof U.S. Lawmakers Don't Know The Difference Between Sh*t and Shinola

Proof U.S. Lawmakers Don't Know The Difference Between Sh*t and Shinola

WASHINGTON DC - Washington politics weren't the only thing stinking to high heaven on Capitol Hill this week. Although at first it was hard to distinguish, lawmakers finally realized there was a pungent odor eminating from the floor of the Senate, a...

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Funny story: "This Ain't Willie Nelson's Farm-Aid"

"This Ain't Willie Nelson's Farm-Aid"

So says Frank N. Beans, a struggling California marijuana grower who will probably not be eligible to receive subsidies or crop insurance under the proposed farm bill now being considered in the U.S. House of Representatives. "They gonna cut $40 billion in food aid for the poor over the next ten years and give 'bout $15 billion a year to the big guys," he says. "I cain't 'ford no lobbyist nor...

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Funny story: NFL officials to referee Congress

NFL officials to referee Congress

Washington DC - The National Football League has volunteered its squad of on-field officials to "referee" Congress. In announcing the arrangement, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell noted that his army of referees, field judges, umpires, linesmen, an...

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Funny story: President Obama: The Heck With Everything - I'm Going To Take A Much Needed Vacation To Dubai

President Obama: The Heck With Everything - I'm Going To Take A Much Needed Vacation To Dubai

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has told Vice-President Joe Biden that he is handing him the reins for a while as he will be flying out to Dubai, India to take a much needed vacation. He noted that the darn Republicans are giving him about seve...

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Funny story: Starbucks Latest Marketing Campaign a "Beacon To Government Officials"

Starbucks Latest Marketing Campaign a "Beacon To Government Officials"

Starbucks Coffee has begun a new marketing campaign billed as a way to call upon Congress to "come together" and stop bickering. From Wednesday to Friday, Starbucks will give away a free tall brewed coffee to any customer in the U.S. who buys anot...

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Funny story: US Congress and Senate Do a Runner

US Congress and Senate Do a Runner

Shocked citizens of "The Land of the Free and the Home of the Broke" woke up today to find that their entire government had absconded rather than face up to the global debt collectors that are expected to come knocking next Thursday. It seems that th...

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Funny story: Only 10% of Americans are Crazy

Only 10% of Americans are Crazy

According to a CNN poll released recently only 10% of Americans think Congress is doing a good job. This is an all time low rating for the Congress. There is an ongoing global manhunt to identify, isolate and quarantine these thirty million Americ...

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Funny story: Congress reshapes itself into a TV quiz show

Congress reshapes itself into a TV quiz show

Washington, DC - Come on down. It's time to play "America's Got Congress" --television's first ever legislative quiz show. That's the battle cry you'll hear every weekday afternoon, thanks to a new law that turned the Senate and the House of Repr...

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Funny story: Ninety GOP Congressmen cut off noses in a mass mutilation celebration!

Ninety GOP Congressmen cut off noses in a mass mutilation celebration!

It was a jubilant crowd yesterday afternoon as ninety GOP congressmen marched and frolicked into a press conference after effectively shutting down the government. They had just returned from Walter Reed Hospital where they had their noses surgically...

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Funny story: House Republicans pass Legislation to shutdown the Senate

House Republicans pass Legislation to shutdown the Senate

In a a startling development earlier today the House Republican majority passed a bill to shut the Senate down permanently. The resolution H RES 420 passed 233 - 200, strictly on party lines. While the House and the Senate have often been at odds...

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Funny story: Congress to Recess until after 2016 Election - "Grand Bargain" Struck by Pelosi and Boehner

Congress to Recess until after 2016 Election - "Grand Bargain" Struck by Pelosi and Boehner

Special to TPN - Following a meeting described as "amicable," Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and John Boehner (R-OH) announced that Congress will adjourn until after the 2016 election cycle. Pelosi opened a joint news conference by saying, "We both felt th...

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Funny story: Newt Gingrich not related to Amphibians, authorities confirm

Newt Gingrich not related to Amphibians, authorities confirm

After extensive research the American Amphibious Society has concluded that Newt Gingrich is not a member of the family Salamandridae, of order Caudata, otherwise commonly known as the newt. The groundbreaking research article was published in the...

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Funny story: The American People Speak, Boehner Hears Voices

The American People Speak, Boehner Hears Voices

Steely blue eyes ablaze with conviction, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R - Ohio) expresses the will of the American People. In virtually every speech, the phrase "the American People want" passes his righteous lips with prophetic certainty and...

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