PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA - Flush with cash, the technology giant has been looking around for places to park its enormous amount of money. Last week Google (Inc.) purchased the app-Whatsupp for an estimated 17 billion dollars. This week evidently the who...
President Obama is to reboot the earth on Monday and load the latest version of Windows. The planet's hard drives are running slow and the Middle East keeps crashing. A genuine copy of the creation software has been obtained. Original Dvds of "T...
BOSTON - A 22-year-old computer programmer living in Boston has come forth with an astonishing claim. Mavis Drillwater has informed the news media that she is Mitt Romney's daughter. She said that she did not know it until recently when she found...
Industry insiders are talking about the latest iteration of the "smart phone", the "smart ass" phone that hits the markets this week. Developed in one of the most smart alecky cities on the planet, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, the new phone was develop...
HONG KONG - China's Rick Shaw National News Agency is reporting that the Moon land rover Yutu, (Jade Rabbit) has met with an unfortunate accident. Rick Shaw stated that on Monday at approximately 2:13 a.m. (Las Vegas time) Yutu reported that it ha...
Developers at America's "Silicon Valley" say getting computers to understand and speak Welsh was a challenge but a £30,000,000 grant from Rumania had helped towards developing a more sophisticated system of sound from the latest Welsh only edition of...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Justin Bieber held a press conference today to announce that he retires and will begin the New Year as a speck of lint. "But I don't want to be any speck of lint, just the speck of lint you see on the left hand side middle of yo...
HOUSTON - The National Aeronautics Space Agency has just released a statement that it has hired the nephew of North Korea's leader Kim Jong Un. NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb informed the news media that 24-year-old Tong Song Chu has been hire...
Dateline: WASHINGTON--Millions of underemployed or out-of-work citizens of Canada, Europe, and the United States took to the streets to protest the internet as a vast communist conspiracy. Moreover, many Westerners are flocking to China, praising its...
Dateline: BERKELEY--While many Americans are reeling from the news that the NSA is spying on their locations by tracking their mobile devices, social scientists are concerned about a more existential threat: those devices are turning people into assh...
HOUSTON - NASA officials have just received a computer readout from the Martian land rover Curiosity which reports that it has run over what appeared to be a possum. One of the NASA executives who saw the computer message noted that a varmint type...
Washington, DC-Mitch McConnell (R, AL) introduced legislation today to make the creation of slow websites created by the executive branch a treasonable and therefore impeachable offense and punishable for the first offense is waterboarding. For the s...
Bradenton, Fl - The future is he-he-here now. Dragon speech rrrecognition software performed fl-flawlessly. Ca-control your co-co-computer with your voice. Wh-wh-when you talk, your comp-p-puter types with extreme ack-ack-accuracy. It trrransfo...
MOSCOW - Russian President Vladimir Putin recently told the Russian News Agency, Vodkavich, that granting NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden asylum is the greatest Russian accomplishment in over 60 years. President Putin added that the best politica...
PENSACOLA, Florida - The governor of Florida has just issued a Governor's Directive which mandates that all computers within the state will no longer be allowed to use the Ctrl-Alt-Delete computer feature. A spokesperson for the governor, P.K. "Ta...
MOSCOW - The Russian News Agency, Vodkavich is reporting that President Vladimir Putin is extremely happy with the job that Edward Snowden is doing as the government's director of computers. President Putin has stated that Snowden has already show...
NEW YORK CITY - American NSA whistleblower and now resident of Russia, Edward Snowden stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is thrilled with having been granted asylum in Russia. He also added that he loves his new job as dire...
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