Husbands - forget embarrassing parallel parking mess - ups, getting into trouble in the supermarket car park, scuffing your wife's expensive alloy wheels and banging the car door onto the next one while struggling to squeeze your beer gut out of the driver's door. Here's our confidence boosting parking advice: 1) Get touch up paint to keep in your "Man Bag". 2) Superglue giant cats whiskers...
All new sports cars are being fitted with a chip that screams the words "embarrassing penis length inside", when it is revved unnecessarily from a stationary position. The 'truth-chip' will be a big blow to large car manufacturers such as Porsche...
Motorists can now drive themselves into Morris&Sons garage where self-service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Customers at Morris&Sons Motors simply queue for the next available inspection pit, pick up a basket containing overa...
With accident rates on British roads at an all time low, it has been necessary to bring in new traffic laws in order to provide the existing force with crimes to arrest people for. "We had a bit of a brainstorm," said traffic officer, Nick Themall...
GM executives are really excited about their new 2015 line up of boring, uninspired, middle American old peoples cars. "We are thrilled about the limited number of invisible changes you will see with our new 2015 Chevy Impalas and Malibus. Plus t...
CUCAMONGA, California - The Santa Ana Winds KIA Auto Dealership in Cucamonga has just announced its March Madness Promotion. Wallace Benchbark, 52, general manager of the dealership told the news media that for the next 30 days his dealership will...
ATLANTA - Justin Bieber is finally realizing that all of his brattiness has finally exploded in his pop star face. Bieber recently expressed a desire to live in the South and he decided that Atlanta would be a good place to lay down roots. But...
Los Angeles Police have stopped Justin Bieber as he had drivers honked horns and passengers screaming and chasing him, shouting that he had a baby on the roof of his car. Bieber waved and waved as if he hadn't a care in the world while the baby ke...
Audi's latest model for the home counties and South of England is bound to make something of a splash when it hits the shores next November. "This car is something to behold," said Jeremy Clarkson in a pompous voice. "It is seriously cool," sai...
TARZANA, California - Danica Patrick, the Darling of NASCAR, had just finished filming a public service commercial at The Gary Busey International Speedway when she was approached by a reporter with Sporting Chance Magazine. Hercules Confetti aske...
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - It was a great night for sleeping at SFO until a "thirty something" couple from Boston, Massachusetts threw a major fit at a low level car rental employee's kiosk at SFO at 2:00 in the morning. The sleepy car rental guy, who had unfortunately drawn the night shift, was unable to give the exhausted couple the white Nissan Altima they had reserved ahead of time from t...
A car dealership in Maryville, Tennessee is suing a rival car dealer for $500,000 in lost income and auto damage as well as causing the workers there to risk their lives by working and the clean-up details. Hardin's GMC and Hyundai Auto Dealership...
Vehicle names for new car models can make or break cars sales. Here are some names that never quite made it out of the boardroom. 1. Kia Cheeseweed 2. Mercury Maggot 3. Ford Fluffy 4. Dodge Ball 5. Volkswagon Vole 6. Lincoln Constipator 6. Kia Kale 7. Hyundai Hushpuppy 8. Ford Fart 9. Volkswagon Aardvark 10. Saturn Sloth 11. Pontiac Perspire 12.
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Senator Philbert P. Washmeister [R-Hot Springs] has just met with the members of the news media and he has informed them about a very important piece of state legislation that has just been passed by the Arkansas State Senate.
NASHVILLE, Tennessee - The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company has revealed to the public that they've just developed a brand new ultra-modern tire. The tire, known as the RMC-600, was developed totally out of recycled milk containers. The compan...
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail giant is getting ready to revolutionize the retail store industry. Walmart Spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace has unveiled Walmart's new "We Got It All" policy by revealing that the retail franchis...
DERBY, England - Rolls Royce has just informed the news media that they have decided to move their operations overseas to the Republic of Mexico. Covington Willard Fogstenmeister, III, a spokesperson for the auto manufacturer, explained that the r...
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