Listen up ISIS. There is a bigger threat these days nearer to home (the USA). While the ISIS operates in the Middle East and has only spouted threats for actual terrorism in mainland USA, there is a regime shaping up that is more terrifying than ISIS...
Fueling a spike in sales of all things Canadian, Americans going overseas are depleting store stocks, especially of sports gear, in the US and abroad. While visiting France, Brendy Wells and her boyfriend Scott Winter were soon tired of explainin...
US politics has become a scorched earth zone with all sides tolerating zero dissent. Underscoring the impassable political divide, a Quinnipiac study shows that fully twenty percent of people living in the US will flee the country after the 2016 Pres...
After only a few short weeks on the market, it appears that the Playboy Mansion has attracted a firm purchase offer from, of all parties, the Government of Canada. McKenzie Brothers Real Estate, acting on Canada's behalf, has revealed that their p...
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump finds it very problematic that fellow candidate Ted Cruz is from Canada. Trump states that during breaks in the debate, Cruz surreptitiously drinks maple syrup from a flask stickered with Canadian flags.
On Thursday morning of this past week, Dr. Maxwell Zilberhammer of the Great White North Health Sciences Laboratory announced the results of a DNA test ordered and paid for by the campaign of recently defeated Canadian Prime Minister Harpo Stevens.
Those motorists who've ever decided to save a few miles and dodge a few highway tolls on the drive between Buffalo NY and Chicago by passing through that large game sanctuary known as "Canada" may have wondered: "What is there to do here besides hunt moose, photograph Mounties, and guzzle buckets of Tim Horny's coffee?" Well, anyone who braves this passage in early October --just before the ent...
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II held a press conference today denouncing her Canadian citizenship. "I was born in the United Kingdom and lived exclusively in the United Kingdom. There have been trips across the pond. bu...
Malone, NY - New York Police shot and killed one of the two escaped murderers from the Clinton Correctional Facility, Richard Matt, on Friday, only a few miles from the Canadian border - which would have surely been the end of the trail for all polic...
Ottawa, Ontario - Canada's Department of National Beaver Pelts and Other Foreign Trades, has initialized negotiations with its #1 trading partner, the U.S., to see which downtrodden celebrities they might be able to get in exchange for Pop-Star, Just...
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada (The Country North of here. (North being the big "N" on your phone when you hit the compass setting thingy.)) - Canada's Finance Ministers and Economists have unanimously agreed for years now that the number one barrier to gre...
Toronto, Canada - A mysterious banker has been found by police close to a York University campus underground tunnel. Police say they are baffled. Early reports suggest he was discovered in a secluded wooded area by a conservation officer who sa...
CIA HQ in Canadian Parliament male boghole has just received a flash of MP, Pat Martin's rear end after he rushed in here to change his tight underpants! Star Canadian CIA (Cockroach Inflitration Army) reporter, Randy Orifice-Thong, after being bo...
The Canuck TV network Nude News has been sued by disgruntled subscribers who complain that the newscasters are not nude--at least, not all the time. The female reporters typically appear wearing next to nothing--a skimpy black dress, for example,...
U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
WHAT'S THE BEEF, OH -- Elected to represent the not-so-great state of Ohio, U. S. Senator Sherrod Brown (a Democrat, of course) has been charged with a conflict of interest. Apparently, while supposedly representing Ohio, the politician is also re...
Washington D.C. - President Obama thinks he hit a home run today with his solution to the ever-looming Keystone Pipeline project that has been haunting him for several years now. The president has decided to have the pipeline constructed and use i...
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