In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted "The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair." The study fo...
Jello has announced that they have signed a contract with new British media sensation Pippa Middleton. A creative marketing team from the company will fly to London next week to begin filming a new series of "Jello Jigglers" commercials to star Miss...
The recent spate of super injunction gagging orders are being defied, and several journalists have decided to ignore these bits of paper obtained from injunction-issuing Justice Sue Mai-Ass, who incidentally wears a very strange wig in court and exp...
London - "At this stage we simply don't know if they're surgical implants," one ogler commented, "or polystyrene slip-ins, part of some designer thong. "Still, it's the only sartorial topic on most blokes' minds, like, watching Pip sashay up the A...
A new Mexican salsa product, named Blazing Sphincter, also has a new type of marketing scheme. Instead of claiming that it is the hottest of the hot sauces going in, it claims to be the hottest of the hot sauces coming out. Jars of the product are al...
The Department of Homeland Security is revising the color coded threat warnings that they have been using for a few years to monitor terrorist warning levels. People will no longer have to worry about whether green or orange is worse than blue or red...
Harvard trained protologist, Dr. Thaddeus Colonato, today reported that he successfully enlarged the business end of a patient's alimentary canal from a substandard 10 guage opening to something that would allow a 12 gauge turd to pass without micro...
The British government are reportedly giving serious consideration to a request from the White House (on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, County Durham) to have the word 'arse' expunged from all dictionaries, and replaced with the word 'ass' - whic...
Seattle, Washington - A Seattle man was arrested Thursday after DNA tests matched his nose hairs to those taken from the buttocks of an attack victim. Witnesses to the attack report that the man was running behind the woman when he suddenly grab...
LOS ANGELES - Heidi Montag told a Los Angeles entertainment publication that the recent photos of her derriere that are starting to appear on the Internet under such name categories as "Booty," "Bahookie," "Buns," "Badonkadonk," and "Bottom" have all...
Recently named as having the "Best Butt" in the world for 2010, Kim Kardashian has just inked an agreement with Meddiplant Corporation to produce a full line of butt-implants for the "caboose challenged", as Kim likes to call it. Working closely...
Word out of North Korea is that Leader Kim who has virtually already handed over their leadership to his son, a chip off the old blockhead, has accidentally blown his ass off. A North Korean spy from South Korea stated that there was a lot of runn...
A six year old Friesian cow was recovering today after its arse was repeatedly hit by a mysterious banjo wielding maniac. It had been grazing in a field when the attacker approached it from behind and started beating its backside with the spherica...
The Acme Implants Company has issued a major recall of their Caesar Gluteus Maximus model #110 buttocks implants due to faulty design. Major complaints by implant patients include a condition known as "flat butt" when a patients sits for longer than one hour in the same position, as well as severe and unflattering "dimpling" when the buttocks are squeezed too roughly during sexual encounters. I...
X Factor judge Cheryl Cole faced even more controversy today as she admitted that she's so bad at making decisions that she can spend up to 6 hours a day sat on the toilet while she decides which hand she should use to wipe her arse. 'I look at my...
RIDER, Texas-A 24-year-old woman whose rear men have been complimenting for years said today that she thinks the men are right. "You know, I looked at myself in the mirror today and I had to conclude that all these men aren't just giving me some...
A report that park officials in China have found a way to keep people from sitting on their park benches for hours while others stay on their feet has been solved by placing meters by the bench. If a coin isn't placed in after 20-30 minutes, small sp...
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