Japanese technology giants Toshiba are reported to have cracked the problem of quantum broadband by transmitting encrypted data at over 1 megabit per second along 50 kilometres of optical fibre. "The link is so secure it is 'theoretically' unbreak...
Police in Meatsville SC responded to complaints about a political rally being held in the downtown area yesterday. Upon arrival police reports indicate that the un-permitted rally in full progress. Lt. K. Bob reported that he found all 24 Meat Bagger...
After long months of anguish and suffering regular demonstrations from animal rights groups, the University of South Carolina today announced that it was going to drop the name, 'Gamecocks' as its sports logo and mascot. Head football coach Steve...
Washington DC: A consortium of animal rights groups has sued the United States Government in Federal District Court about political party symbols. The suit alleges that the Republican Party is discriminating against the Democratic Party when it co...
Jihadi, the simian expatriot from the Orangutan Rehab Center in Sumatra, who was captured while attempting to board a flight from Honolulu to LAX a couple of weeks ago, is now a detainee in the GITMO facility constructed to incarcerate Muslim terrori...
Animal rights protesters marched through downtown Vancouver yesterday afternoon, chanting for the end of the practice of "seal" curling. Curling Captain Olaf Rsednik denied the allegations, which accuse a curling team of training with seals and even...
"Replace me with a robot at Groundhog Day events? Don't be ridiculous!" Phil screamed today when he opened the newspaper and read the proposal by animal rights activists. "Who do those characters think they are? Efficiency experts who can push their...
An animal rights group is demanding that no more live animals be used in Holiday celebrations. They say it is cruel to make a spectacle of a basically peaceful animal. But Bill Murray, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog C...
Normally animal rights activists gather to protest abuse of animals. But on this chilly January day in the Twin Cities, near the University of Minnesota campus, seventeen sheep are gathered outside a hotel where the activists are meeting and dining...
ongoose Mania has hit this arrogantly shabby, but serpent and mole challenged South Carolina resort community with a new pest removal service. Snake B Gone, a cutting edge new company with a bite, was recently named most innovative new customer...
Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weeke...
OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma -- On Friday, a judge extended a temporary restraining order on an Oklahoma abortion law -- despite a popular rider tacked onto the legislation intended to loosen current state restrictions on cockfighting. The law, passed...
Chicken, Alaska - Today leaders of an animal rights group have called on their membership to begin to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the poor animals who are going hungry through out the world. 'There is nothing more important than a w...
Havana, Cuba - A nation mourns, upon hearing the news that the granddaughter of beloved freedom fighter Che Guevara has decided to spit upon his memory by exploiting his name to assist the spoiled rich. Lydia Guevara has apparently agreed to appe...
Geert Wilders, Dutch far right politician and "lover" of Maroccans, Turks and Muslims in general can now enter the UK legally! Albeit, he's left his Dutch "SS Speziell Einheid" troopers under a bridge in Amsterdam preparing for a "Blitzkrieg" wate...
PETA and the ALF have called upon the government to demonstrate consistency with the BSE and Foot and Mouth Disease epidemics of a few years ago. "The government was quick to slaughter and burn the corpses of animals with or liable to catch the di...
The US Constitutional right to freedom of religion has protected believers from armed service, the pledge of allegiance and vital vaccinations for children. The Amish Anabaptist sect has accumulated the most religious liberty lawsuits of all chur...
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