Long Island, NY - "Nothing more than a one-man hot air machine spawned in Al Gore's back pocket," was how one Lilypond Lane, East Hampton Big Oil tycoon put it as the President's greenhouse gases speech was broadcast today. "Cutting the crap in at...
Yet another absolutely inane comment coming from an NRA leader has sparked outrage among the United States' citizenry. Today, NRA Deputy of Bullets Czar Randy "Bubba" Beaufordt issued a statement that stated getting hit by bullets "can actually be go...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - If there is one thing that Monica Lewinsky is not it's shy. The nation's most infamous White House intern has reportedly asked President Obama if he can hire her to be a White House tour guide. She stressed to the president that...
Washington DC - The CIA intelligence whistleblower has become the darling of the US Tea Party movement after tweeting from somewhere in International Airspace his intention to publish the US President's 'real birth certificate' that names him as a Br...
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has recommended adding dog meat to America's school lunch menus and military chow halls. As a child, the president was force-fed Dalmatian steaks that his Indonesian step-and-fetchit transsexual "father" La...
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has put military men and women off limits to predatory for-profit colleges that have traditionally preyed upon the weak and stupid, including veterans of the U. S. Army, the U. S. Air Force, the U. S. Navy, th...
CLEVELAND, OH - An Ohio judge ordered Tommy, an obese boy, returned to his mother, Ima Dick, after she completed a year-long, court-ordered college course in diet and nutrition and the boy shed three of his six hundred pounds. Asked how they plan...
AUSTIN, TEX ASS - The University of Tex Ass at Austin shocked graduates, alumni, and students' parents with its announcement, printed on the school's 2012 Commencement program, of a new academic program that it has added to its curriculum to honor th...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama stood in the White House Rose Garden and told the assembled White House press corps, "Well boys and girls, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose." He then informed them that he would be paying off the sports b...
A new whistleblower emerged today with details of a secret court investigation and trial of President Barack Obama. The whistleblower, a court reporter at the secret trial, has been identified as Mr. Edward Hoedown. According to the CIA Mr. Hoedow...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama says that he was shocked to hear that the televison cooking woman, Paula Deen has been fired by the Food Network for using the dreaded "N" word. The president said that he has met Miss Paula on several occasions...
Washington DC - "Fiercely independent and with loads of, uh, intergritty," is how White House aides described the Presidential pick to replace Robert Mueller as FBI chief. "Of course it means his Kick-Ass 2 role as Colonel Stars and Stripes may ha...
Due to controversy over applying the word "wuss" to President Barack Obama, Bill Clinton has felt compelled to clarify his vocabulary, using one of his favorite venues, a nightclub titled "The Lewinsky," located near the White House. Last night at a prime hour in Club Lewinsky's revels, the pole dancers there working for the Rolita Shylee Pole Dance Ensemble stood aside so that the former Presi...
Given the entrenched left wing tendency of most current institutions of higher learning and the concerns of the political left establishment that conservative views -- also known as extreme right wing views - are disturbing and harmful to the develop...
OH, THANK HEAVEN, NY - 7-Eleven convenience stores were raided across Long island, New Yawk, by the city's finest, accompanied by Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATF) agents. The U. S. government considers alcohol, tobacco, f...
Tuesday, June 18, 2013 - House Republicans today announced their intention to fully support the Freedom From Wages Act. "This is a very important piece of legislation," said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va), "and one that will finally free...
WASHINGTON, DC - An Infernal Revenue Service (IRS) superstar in Washington says she personally examined tea party groups' applications for tax-exempt status without taking action on them for over a year in many cases. "I just never seemed to have the...
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