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Funny story: 36,000 Flu Deaths Won't Be from Bird Flu

36,000 Flu Deaths Won't Be from Bird Flu

ATLANTA - It has yet to sicken a single American, but the potential for a bird flu virus pandemic riveted the attention of health officials and ordinary people in 2005, making it the year's top health news story.

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Funny story: Government plan to enourage healthy eating 'ludicrous'

Government plan to enourage healthy eating 'ludicrous'

The Health Secretary yesterday unveiled a £5 million plan to encourage healthy eating. Under the controversial plan, a range of gambling devices will be installed in chip shops, schools and arcades acrosss the country. These machines will differ from...

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Funny story: Roughly one quarter of newborns "morbidly obese" say Scottish Health Authorities

Roughly one quarter of newborns "morbidly obese" say Scottish Health Authorities

An estimated one in three and a half (or two in seven) newborn Scots children are now beginning life morbidly obese, according to figures published earlier today. A study conducted by the Greater Glasgow National Health Serv...

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Funny story: GOP Health Plan to Offer Low-Cost Lobotomies

GOP Health Plan to Offer Low-Cost Lobotomies

Akron, Ohio---George Bush spoke at a rally today addressing his latest health care proposal. Young people will be given the opportunity to put some of their medicare payments into a Health Savings Account (HSA) which will accrue interest. Poor p...

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Funny story: Pilots Fly Better Drunk, Study Shows

Pilots Fly Better Drunk, Study Shows

Miami, FL - A study released this week by the National Institutes of Health reveals that pilots actually do a better job when drinking on the job or immediately before going to work. The study, due to be published in this month's issue of

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Funny story: Bush Unable to Form Coherent Thoughts, Says Physician; Physical Health is "Excellent"

Bush Unable to Form Coherent Thoughts, Says Physician; Physical Health is "Excellent"

President Bush's personal physician today pronounced the president in "excellent" physical health but expressed concern that the president's annual exam once again failed to turn up any evidence that his brain was capable of forming...

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Funny story: FDA: Marijuana Pain Killer to be Sold in Drug Stores and Supermarkets

FDA: Marijuana Pain Killer to be Sold in Drug Stores and Supermarkets

WASHINGTON DC - Following the lead of Health Canada, the FDA announced that three U.S. pharmaceutical companies were given the green light to market an over the counter pain killer that is made from marijuana. The aspirin-like pills are to be taken...

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Funny story: Mississippi, Alabama Public Health Officials Quarantine Katrina Refugees

Mississippi, Alabama Public Health Officials Quarantine Katrina Refugees

L.A. (lower alabama) -- Public health officials worst fears have now come true. Refugees from areas utterly destroyed by Hurricane Katrina including New Orleans, Gulfport, and Bilouxi have reportedly spread Cajun recipes and Zydeco music everywher...

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Funny story: Oh, Doctor! What's Wrong with YOU?!

Oh, Doctor! What's Wrong with YOU?!

CHICAGO-A local woman who for years was looking for health care in all the wrong places turned to litigation to cure what ailed her and uncovered a massive medical fraud scheme.

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Funny story: Bashed at Birth, Osama 'Born To Be Wild'

Bashed at Birth, Osama 'Born To Be Wild'

Bethesda, MD-A consortium of doctors from around the world gathered at the US National Institutes of Health to announce that they have discovered the reasons infamous genocidal terrorist Osama Bin Ladin has such a horrendous desire to, as they put it...

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Funny story: Vehicular Nose-Picking Ban Sought

Vehicular Nose-Picking Ban Sought

Washington, DC-PUT ALL YOUR FINGERS WHERE I CAN SEE ‘EM! Citing marked increases in loss of life and the obvious health and highway safety risks involved, a Pennsylvania legislator is putting Keystone State drivers on notice: "When this bill bec...

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Funny story: Bill Gates Pledges $250m to World Health Organisation to combat viruses due to Windows XP

Bill Gates Pledges $250m to World Health Organisation to combat viruses due to Windows XP

Record numbers of people say they are too stressed out to go to work, according to a report out today from the World Health Organisation. Its report comes after recent figures showed that almost 10% of working people were claiming some type of incapa...

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Funny story: Elmo Breaks Down

Elmo Breaks Down

New York - Sesame Street resident Elmo has checked into a mental health facility after reportedly breaking down in Oscar The Grouch's bin.

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Funny story: Scientists healed from too much concern about Mars' southern pole

Scientists healed from too much concern about Mars' southern pole

MESMARIA, Md. -- Scientists have been disturbed for decades about why Mars' southern polar cap is offset from its geographical south pole. It was getting so that these scientists were damaging their health over the issue.

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Funny story: Runaway Bride - GONE AGAIN?

Runaway Bride - GONE AGAIN?

Maybe it was too good to be true, but the thought that Jennifer Wilbanks would get her life in order now that she has checked herself into an unnamed "health facility" has disappeared like John Wilson's dream of a wild honeymoon night.

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Funny story: Maggie actress: "I'm no sucker"

Maggie actress: "I'm no sucker"

As hit television show ‘The Simpsons' celebrates the airing of its 350th episode this weekend fears are growing for health of the prized sucker behind Maggie.

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Funny story: Illegal Dye, Sudan, found in Blood

Illegal Dye, Sudan, found in Blood

The illegal red food dye, Sudan, has been found in artificial blood imported from outside the European Union it was revealed today and could be the biggest threat to human health since the salmonella in eggs alert back in 1988.

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