WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated on several occasions that he has the hardest job in the world. He said that it is harder than being an Oregon Lumberjack, a Massachusetts grape stomper, and even a West Virginia coal miner. He poin...
New Haven, Connecticut - The US President's obituary has appeared in a Bonesmen's online site in what excited Tea Party activists have hailed as an act of pure prescience. Yeah, right. Capitol Hill aides were quick to rubbish the posting whic...
The Guard Dog has just learned that additional to his conference with Amnesty International requesting asylum in Russia Edward Snowden is now advisor to Russia's Federal Guard Service (FSO). As cover, Mr. Snowden has adopted a new disguise as fema...
LOS ANGELES - One of Lindsay Lohan's fellow rehab clinic patients has just stated that she really fears for the health of the freckle-faced actress. The patient who spoke on grounds of anonymity told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Vodka Vermicelli that Lin...
The so-called coup d'etat in Egypt - while no doubt difficult for Egyptians - is causing all manner of trouble for the Obama administration. If anyone in the administration utters this quaint French phrase, even in jest, even once with their fingers...
LOS ANGELES - Two longtime View hosts, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are leaving the daytime talk show. Behar plans to open up a clothes-optional comedy club in the Bronx and Hasselbeck has been signed to appear on FOX News to basically give...
DANBURY, CT -- American, songwriter, rapper, singer, producer, actress, and all-around good girl, Grammy Award-winning Lauryn Hill, 38, looked shocked as she turned herself into Connecticut authorities to begin a gruelling, three-month-long prison se...
In the most recent white house press briefing, presidential apologist Jay Carney responded to a provocative question from Fox News about the President's "milquetoast" statement on the coup d'etat in Egypt. "As you know," Carney asserted angrily, "Th...
An unknown White House source, today, revealed that when the presidential party was in DAR ES SALAAM, Tanzania, that Harafi, Munjabe, manager of the ground facilities at the Julius Nyerere International Airport, would not allow his jet fuel crew to s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama had just gotten off the phone with George Clooney when he was approached by Vice-President Joe Biden. The vice-president informed him that he had just received a text message from Russian President Vladimir Putin...
In the most recent White House press briefing, presidential apologist Jay Carney responded to a provocative question from Fox News about the President's "milquetoast" statement on the coup d'etat in Egypt. "As you know," Carney asserted angrily, "The...
LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley has made it very clear that she cannot stand that skanky dishwater blonde talk show host Chelsea Handler. Alley recently appeared on The Viagra View and told Larry King that Handler is without a doubt the most evil, hat...
NSA leaker Edward Snowden can breath a sigh of relief after President Obama declared he would not scramble fighter jets to capture Snowden, shortly after learning Snowden had moved to Benghazi. "It's just a place the President would rather ignore...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden asked the commander-in-chief if he could throw a little holiday White House Weenie Roast in the backyard of the White House. The president answered that he thought it would be a great idea and a fabulous...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama attended a Meet & Greet Luncheon that was sponsored by the prestigious Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency formerly The Amalgamated Agency of Data Gathering. The president was the keynote speaker and he address...
Evoking an eerie sense of déjà vu, the President was once again caught seemingly unaware that he was speaking into an open microphone, apparently concealed beneath his omnipresent teleprompter. "Democrats will be killed in the mid-terms, once busines...
Although the more momentous voting on the Declaration of Independence occurred on July 2, this revered document was signed and officially adopted on July 4, which we now proudly celebrate as Independence Day (although John Adams preferred July 2). What follows is a rewrite of the Declaration of Independence, as conceived of by the Tea Party, had the Founding Fathers known as much about their ow...
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