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Funny story: Man United to drop Mark Clattenburg for Chelsea rematch

Man United to drop Mark Clattenburg for Chelsea rematch

Sir Alex Ferguson is planning to rotate his squad around as Manchester United visit Stamford Bridge for the second time in four days for a Capital One League Cup match. Sparks flied as the two teams met on Sunday in the Premier League. Chelsea we...

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Funny story: Capital One Cup to introduce handicap system to make games more exciting

Capital One Cup to introduce handicap system to make games more exciting

The Football League will meet today to decide on implementing a new rule to boost interest in the Capital One sponsored League Cup, which has routinely been dismissed by the big Premier League clubs since the introduction of the Champions League grou...

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Funny story: Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Emirates Stadium, North London: Last night at the Arsenal AGM (25th Oct 2012), there were feisty discussions on whether a trophy less Arsenal, had the right to charge £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips! Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke who was insi...

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Funny story: Jason Roberts "Would Shake John Terry's Hand, Definitely"

Jason Roberts "Would Shake John Terry's Hand, Definitely"

The Reading striker Jason Robots has said that he would shake John Terry's hand but he has refused to say whether or not he believes the Chelsea captain is a racist. My guess is that he does, indeed, think Terry is a racist, but that he is just to...

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Funny story: The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Manager

The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Manager

Following on from 'The Essential Guide To Being A Premier League Footballer', and in response to the literally one letter we received, here is our latest helpful guide. This time we are focusing on Premier League management. Once you've finished your Premier League playing career you may want to consider becoming a manager. Not for the money of course as you'll already have enough of that to fu...

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Funny story: Situation Vacant - Premiership Footballer Required

Situation Vacant - Premiership Footballer Required

A top English Premier League club has an opening for a full-time professional footballer to work within a highly motivated multi-lingual team of prancing prima-donnas. Interested parties should be able to demonstrate a high level of skill, and will be required to show their ability to blow their nose with one finger, and gob large amounts of spit onto the floor. The successful applicant will al...

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Funny story: Choc ice slur man makes stand against racism, by kicking "Kick Racism Out Of Football" out of football

Choc ice slur man makes stand against racism, by kicking "Kick Racism Out Of Football" out of football

Gin soaked senile, ex trade unionist claims he felt embarrassed after Choc ice slur man had made the decision despite Gin soaked senile, ex trade unionist telling the media in his pre-match press conference that all of his players would support the c...

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Funny story: Rio Ferdinand Claims John Terry No Longer On His Christmas Card List

Rio Ferdinand Claims John Terry No Longer On His Christmas Card List

The Manchester United and former England defender Rio Ferdinand has told reporters that his ex-England team-mate John Terry is a "despicable cad" and no longer on the black star's Christmas card list. Terry has been at the centre of racist abuse a...

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Funny story: Pressure builds on Villas-Boas, to clear his throat

Pressure builds on Villas-Boas, to clear his throat

Tottenham Hotspur manager Andre Villas-Boas is facing mounting pressure from fans to have his throat cleared by his next interview. Listeners and viewers to the Portuguese's interviews have been mildly grossed out by his phlegm filled larynx since...

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Funny story: John Terry Subject Of New Anti-Racism Campaign

John Terry Subject Of New Anti-Racism Campaign

John Terry the former England international and current Chelsea captain, who has been at the epicentre of recent racial abuse allegations, has been the inspiration of a new initiative by anti-racism campaigners which has become known as the Kick Him...

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Funny story: My life as a man #22

My life as a man #22

Keeping up with the English Jones' My neighbor, Gerry, the British guy who came here 23-years-ago, has a beautiful wife, a very nice home (that he keeps up like a palace), three wonderful adult children, and seven grandchildren. His two grown sons and his one adult daughter were all born in a coal-heated flat in the "South of London," wherever the hell that is. His two eldest grandchildren, a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip October 2012 - Edgar Davids Special

Football Gossip October 2012 - Edgar Davids Special

Former Dutch international Edgar Davids has joined the football leagues bottom club, North London Barnet. The leagues bottom club? Has he been on the 'herbal cigarettes'? Has he confused his local football club with his local hairdressers... The club announced Davids joined the struggling League Two outfit because they were his local club. Well it beats commuting on the Northern Line every mo...

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Funny story: Random Acts of Football (Part 1) Poland v England

Random Acts of Football (Part 1) Poland v England

The England v Poland World Cup qualifying match was postponed on Tuesday October 16th after heavy rain. The Stadium, purpose built for the Euro 2012 tournament held in Poland and Ukraine during the summer, has a roof but never used it. The match was rearranged for 4pm the following day, ending in a 1-1 draw. One match at Euro 2012, between co-hosts Ukraine and France, was suspended due to heavy...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney In Barnsley Link

Wayne Rooney In Barnsley Link

Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney has this evening been sensationally linked with Championship side Barnsley after the Tykes offered forward John Rooney - Wayne's brother - a contract until the end of the season, subject to internationa...

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Funny story: New FA Centre of Excellence replaces Centre of Mediocrity

New FA Centre of Excellence replaces Centre of Mediocrity

The home of English football in the shape of the £100 million centre of excellence has been unveiled, replacing the previous centre of mediocrity model. St Georges Park will provide a base and state of the art facilities like balls, bibs and cones...

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Funny story: Hope Solo Slams Dancing With The Stars

Hope Solo Slams Dancing With The Stars

WALLA WALLA, Washington - The American Olympic soccer team goalkeeper Hope Solo was in Walla Walla visiting an aunt who just adopted triplets. While at the airport Hope was asked by a reporter with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres about the success of her...

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Funny story: Manchester United Beat Liverpool Again. Fans Behave. Press Frustrated

Manchester United Beat Liverpool Again. Fans Behave. Press Frustrated

Following a much hyped probable negative reaction by Manchester United supporters against their Liverpool counterparts, over a tribute to the fallen 96 of Hillsborough, the media were left with nothing to report, as the Manchester United fan continge...

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