In a stunning political move today the government announced that all opposition Members of Parliament have been arrested for sedition and treason. The cabinets new security leader Albemarle Pottingshed reported--"We have found virtually tons of...
It was announced today that four peers of the realm face expulsion from the UK's House of Lords. Lords Snowdagain, Hailstone and Gritheroads have all been accused of failing to uphold the traditions and reputation of the House. The 'gang of three'...
Aspirin has been reclassified as a class A drug, introducing the possibility of lifetime imprisonment for anyone caught supplying the former headache suppressant. Home secretary Jacqui Smith cited the "uncertainty" surrounding the effects of the d...
In a bid to improve ratings, Spike Milligan is being resurrected to star in a revamped "Prime Minister's Question-Time". The new show's catch-phrase will be "What are we goin' to to now? What are we goin' to to now?" Since it slipped below "Big...
In a largely anticipated announcement, hedgehogs have voted almost unanimously to form their own Parliament. The hedgehogs intend to model their parliament on the Isle of Man "Tynwald" system, which is over 1,000 years old, shunning more modern pa...
London - (Damian 'The Omen' Green Mess): Shrewsbury and Atcham MP Daniel Kawczynski was seen foaming at the mouth tonight after police officers marched into his House of Commons orifice and removed a constituent's letter filled with 'unidentified po...
In a surprise move today the government announced that it will issue compulsory purchase orders for every house and plot of land in the country. The government regards this as simply an expansion of its Heathrow Airport purchase plans. A spokesp...
In a stirring speech before the Commons Select Commitee, Tory MP Sir Toby Toff claimed that as many as 2,000 poles a day were entering the UK. The poles, primarily used in the telecommunications industry, but also for scaffolding and other building w...
The British Government, in a 30-million pound initiative, is to make a database of ice-cream van music. Department of Eurofun spokesman Eric Tie, speaking outside the Department's new 16-storey office on Millbank, said that he was glad the Govern...
Lady Mildred Bland, British Foreign Secretary,has revealed her battle plans for the dismantling of the Blair-Bush terrorist anti-terrorism. Lady B, very late in the game and very confident of her liason with the new American president has launche...
In the worst political faux pas that a PM-in-waiting can make UK foreign secretary David Miliband told an Indian TV channel that the Mumbai attack perpetrators "should be tried in that country so that the Pakistani judicial system (sic)takes its cour...
In an unprecedented statement, Opposition Leader David Cameron has described the workings of the House of Commons as "archaic" and called for urgent reform. Addressing the Batley Townswomens' Guild, Mr Cameron said that in these difficult times, i...
The Government today announced a measure to get money flowing into the economy that doesn't involve more motoring stealth taxes. From tomorrow, any foreigners living abroad will be subject to a non-domiciliary tax at a rate of 1.5%. The Chancellor...
Echoing doomed 70's Labour prime minister James Callaghan, Gordon Brown today said, 'Crisis What Crisis?' This was in answer to questions about the doomed economy, increasing job losses and the theory about man made global warming being shattered...
The world of politics was shaken to it's foundations today, when David Cameron announced that he plans to step aside in 2010 to enable the return of Margaret Thatcher. At 83, all but her most insane supporters would not have contemplated such a co...
Struggling drug dealers have been promised huge amounts of taxpayers money by the government in a deal designed to save their ailing businesses. A government spokesperson stated that the collapse of the industry is a result of previously wealthy b...
Prime minister Gordon Brown is facing calls for his resignation after yet another embarrassing leak showed just how desperate he is to cling to power. According to the documents, Brown was planning an operation codenamed "Operation Asian flu" in w...
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