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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: David Beckham comes out of retirement to play for PSG

David Beckham comes out of retirement to play for PSG

Pants model and tattooed lady lookalike David Beckham, 37, has sensationally come out of semi-retirement to play competitive football in the French Super Ligue after five years of playing in the Mickey Mouse Millionaire League in America. East Lon...

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Funny story: Gazza goes to rehab on a pint!

Gazza goes to rehab on a pint!

Gazza, better known as Paul Gascoigne, super-footballer, super drinker and ex-England hero has sadly hit rock-bottom because of his alcohol problems The soccer world has not forgetten how great this man was for England and are supporting him in hi...

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Funny story: Man buys scissor lift to watch the Stoke-on-Trent football matches

Man buys scissor lift to watch the Stoke-on-Trent football matches

Wesley Duncan has taken matters into his own hands as a result of football ticket prices increasing so much over the past few years. The married, father of three who has supported Stoke City FC since he was a boy refused to pay the £20.00 per match t...

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Funny story: Eden Hazard admits, "I did not kick that boy, I only kicked his balls!"

Eden Hazard admits, "I did not kick that boy, I only kicked his balls!"

Chelsea player, Eden Hazard, after being vilified in today's tabloids after an incident involving a 17 year-old Swansea ball boy, has admitted that he didn't kick the boy, only his balls! The ball boy purposely rolled all over the ball attempting...

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Funny story: Secret ball boy training revealed as priority for Premier League academies

Secret ball boy training revealed as priority for Premier League academies

No wonder the academy system at our top clubs is failing. The reason? An insider has revealed that all the millions ploughed into the academy system over the last decade has not been invested in developing the England players of the future, as man...

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Funny story: United's Vidic celebrates no dismissal v rivals Liverpool

United's Vidic celebrates no dismissal v rivals Liverpool

Nemanja Vidic, who has been previously sent off three times against Manchester United's arch rivals Liverpool, today celebrated NOT being shown a red card as United edged their way to a 2-1 victory over the Anfield outfit. Serbian international V...

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Funny story: Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week

Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week

A disgruntled Manchester City fan today proudly announced his family will 'eat like royalty for a week' after he decided not to pay the outrageous price of £62 to watch 90 minutes of football at the Emirates Stadium in 'that there London'. Manches...

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Funny story: Shebby Singh explains 'Global Advisor' role at Blackburn Rovers

Shebby Singh explains 'Global Advisor' role at Blackburn Rovers

Blackburn Rovers Global Advisor Shebby Singh broke his silence today to explain what his job title actually means. Speaking to Robbie Savage on BBC radio phone-in 606 (nicknamed moan-o-moan in the football industry) he finally revealed the answer...

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Funny story: Theo Walcott to buy new house 'in the centre of the street'

Theo Walcott to buy new house 'in the centre of the street'

As the transfer window reopens on January 1st and the future of Theo Walcott at Arsenal still undecided, the saga took a development today when Theo put his house in Hertfordshire up for sale. Speculation mounted that Walcott was going to live in...

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Funny story: Contestants line up for New season of reality show 'Dicing With Russians'

Contestants line up for New season of reality show 'Dicing With Russians'

Channel Dive press team officially announced the launch of the tenth season of 'Dicing With Russians' direct from Stamford Bridge but refused to confirm the contestants until the end of the week. Rafa Benitez is the defending champion, having seen...

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Funny story: Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villain-Boas (AVB) has given Gareth Bale a belated Christmas present in the form of a pair of stabilisers that will stop him falling over in crucial Premier League soccer matches. Welsh wizard bale was booked in the 2-...

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Funny story: Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team

Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team

Fans of Birmingham's biggest professional soccer club today praised the teams massive '100% improvement over the Christmas holiday period. Following a zero-eight setback against European Champions Chelsea, the London based Russian financed team fr...

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Funny story: Football team sponsored by brothel offers players free samples!

Football team sponsored by brothel offers players free samples!

A Greek football team that is sponsored by a brothel (Times are hard in Greece especially trying to finding sponsors) have also received a bonus from the sponsors; if they win their games they can have some free samples! The brothel owner, Madame...

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Funny story: Lonely Italian football supporter rings helpline for help against loneliness!

Lonely Italian football supporter rings helpline for help against loneliness!

Udinese soccer fan, Arrigo Brovedani, who stood alone in the away stands in a league game in far off Genoa was so depressed after the game that he contemplated suicide, but then he gave The Telephone Helpline a buzz instead, and they saved his life!...

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Funny story: Cardboard cops replace Yorkshire's force

Cardboard cops replace Yorkshire's force

The life-size cutouts of a uniformed officer, which cost £25 each, will be deployed across Yorkshire Police's patch to make up for the staff currently working on the Jimmy Savile investigation. "So far," Det. Chief Superintendent Bill 'Skid' Marks...

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Funny story: PFA Chief accused of Shifting the Goal-posts with Additional Netting proposal

PFA Chief accused of Shifting the Goal-posts with Additional Netting proposal

PFA Chief Gordon Taylor has been criticised for attempting to move the goalposts after he suggested the introduction of further nets around the pitch, in the wake of yesterdays dour Manchester derby. Glorified shop-steward Taylor suggested the rev...

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Funny story: League Managers Association Makes Surprise Offer to Abramovich

League Managers Association Makes Surprise Offer to Abramovich

In an attempt to instil some sanity back into his ailing football club's affairs, the League Managers Association has made an astonishing offer to Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich. The association has offered the services of all its members on a month...

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