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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 8th April 2012 - with comments

Monday 2nd April: Topic: The economy "UK economy 'Showing signs of improvement!" Source: BBC News The UK economy has shown a few signs of improvement in the first three months of this year, the British Chambers of Commerce (BCC) has said. The latest quarterly economic survey by the business lobby said that domestic orders and exports were all higher from the previous quarter.

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Funny story: GOP headed towards buggered convention!

GOP headed towards buggered convention!

The meeting hall was crowded with media yesterday afternoon after the advance press release reached their offices. Newt Gingrich was to announce that the GOP convention in Tampa was going to be a "buggered" convention! As Gingrich approached the...

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Funny story: GOP: "Dems declare war on head lice!"

GOP: "Dems declare war on head lice!"

Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee held a press conference this morning to announce that President Barack Obama and the Democratic establishment had declared a war on head lice in the US. Priebus stated in his opening re...

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Funny story: The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: The Kenneth Clarke Interview

The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: The Kenneth Clarke Interview

7 months ago: I managed to got permission to hold an interview with The Right Honourable Kenneth Clarke QC MP, Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice for the UK. For Thursday 5th April this year. I had to inform them of all the questions and possible questions I might ask him, 6 months in advance. 6 months ago: Mr Clarke's first assistant, The Rt Hon Lord McNally Minister of State...

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Funny story: 20 Different Management Styles Explained - with examples

20 Different Management Styles Explained - with examples

1) Managing by walking faster than the employees: You will usually always see these kind of managers in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner! Management Examples: Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, David Cameron, Margaret Thatcher, Road Runner. 2) Managing by staring out of the window: These managers you usually m...

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Funny story: Rental clown joins GOP race for President!

Rental clown joins GOP race for President!

A rental clown from North Carolina announced late yesterday that he is entering the remaining GOP presidential primaries and expects to capture the nomination at the national convention in Tampa, Florida. The announcement, although attended by only one journalist from the local media, immediately gained traction on the internet and the social media. The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, No...

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Funny story: What If The Present Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History

What If The Present Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History

THE MIDDLE AGES- A WITCH BURNING: SANTORUM: This harlot before us is one of Satan's own who has used her for a tool of His evil! We must burn her until only the ashes of her sinfulness remain. The evidence shows her wickedness: she was seen dancing naked in the moonlight, she does not attend church on the Sabbath day, and she bathes only once a month. This last sin should make her burn all th...

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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 1st April 2012 - with comments

Monday 26th March: Topic: David Cameron - NHS Dementia is a national crisis like HIV and cancer, says David Cameron Source: The Telegraph The Prime Minister is likely to argue that dementia is a "scandal" being ignored, as he unveils a doubling in funding for research into the illness to £66 million by 2015. In a speech in central London, he will describe dementia as a "quiet crisis that stea...

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Funny story: My Worst Nightmare: I Was Married to Newt Gingrich

My Worst Nightmare: I Was Married to Newt Gingrich

I'm coming clean and you are the first to know. If you are a frequent Dating Dementia reader, you'll recall that I seldom remember my dreams. Scientists have established that everyone dreams. I'm sure I do. Yet, for some unknown reason, upon waking I remember nothing about the weird wanderings of my midnight mind. Ignorance is indeed bliss. My bliss bubble was popped early this morning...

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Funny story: Rumor Confirmed: Romney Will Form

Rumor Confirmed: Romney Will Form

NEW YORK - Rumors of a "United States 2.0″ have recently spread throughout the Internet with the rising threat of Rick Santorum as a noteworthy contender in the 2012 Republican presidential race. Today, Fox News confirmed these rumors in an interview...

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Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 18th March 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 18th March 2012 - with comments

This Weeks Selected Political News Monday 12th March 2012: Topic: Cutbacks - Samantha Cameron "No cutbacks for Samantha Cameron" Source: The Mirror Samantha Cameron shopping in Ikea for hubby's new cabinet had her No 10 handlers wetting themselves. A flat-pack would ­admittedly be more useful than most of Call Me Dave's Ministers who have screws missing of their own. "The pictures promo...

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Funny story: Some Scary Thoughts That Need To Be Thunk About

Some Scary Thoughts That Need To Be Thunk About

Here Are Some Really Scary Thoughts: The people running for President have no problem wasting huge sums of other people's money and spending incredible amounts of time making themselves look good for the campaigns. What is to prevent them from doing the same when they are elected. Medically, Dick Cheney does not have a pulse because of his heart pump. The definition of a terrorist also f...

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Funny story: Texas-Hawaii swap creates a 'more profitable, tasteful union'

Texas-Hawaii swap creates a 'more profitable, tasteful union'

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Department of Interior announced today that it will move Texas into the South Pacific and replace it with the Hawaiian Islands in the newly-created Gulf of New Mexico. Officials said the land-swap, among many other be...

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Funny story: Cameron to fight Sarkozy after the French arm British badgers

Cameron to fight Sarkozy after the French arm British badgers

A boxing match is to be held between David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris next week, a government spokesman informed us last night. The fight is set to take place under the Arc De Triumph and has been sparked by revelations that the French...

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Funny story: Insiders Say Mitt Romney To Name Florida's Marco Rubio As VP Running Mate

Insiders Say Mitt Romney To Name Florida's Marco Rubio As VP Running Mate

Although he has stated previously that he doesn't want to run as a Vice Presidential candidate, many say that Marco Rubio would have a hard time turning down the opportunity to become the next Vice President of the United States. "Rubio has everyt...

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Funny story: CIA splinters into separate organisations

CIA splinters into separate organisations

The CIA has seen disagreements on how to run the agency cause rifts and splits within the organisation itself causing splinter groups to emerge. As well as the legitimate arm of the CIA, still called the CIA, there is now a more militant wing call...

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Funny story: Idaho Cactus Enjoying Accidental Time In Spotlight

Idaho Cactus Enjoying Accidental Time In Spotlight

BOISE--With talk of the March 6th Idaho Caucus picking up, a surprising figure has inadvertently risen to the forefront of internet searches. Lookups for "idaho cactus" and "idaho cactus info" have risen over 600% in the past few days alone. The...

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