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Funny story: Mass Arrest of MPs

Mass Arrest of MPs

In a stunning political move today the government announced that all opposition Members of Parliament have been arrested for sedition and treason. The cabinets new security leader Albemarle Pottingshed reported--"We have found virtually tons of...

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Funny story: Peers face expulsion for 'failing to uphold the reputation of the upper house'

Peers face expulsion for 'failing to uphold the reputation of the upper house'

It was announced today that four peers of the realm face expulsion from the UK's House of Lords. Lords Snowdagain, Hailstone and Gritheroads have all been accused of failing to uphold the traditions and reputation of the House. The 'gang of three'...

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Funny story: Government to upgrade aspirin to class A drug

Government to upgrade aspirin to class A drug

Aspirin has been reclassified as a class A drug, introducing the possibility of lifetime imprisonment for anyone caught supplying the former headache suppressant. Home secretary Jacqui Smith cited the "uncertainty" surrounding the effects of the d...

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Funny story: New Host for PMQ8

New Host for PMQ8

In a bid to improve ratings, Spike Milligan is being resurrected to star in a revamped "Prime Minister's Question-Time". The new show's catch-phrase will be "What are we goin' to to now? What are we goin' to to now?" Since it slipped below "Big...

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Funny story: Hedgehogs to have own Parliament

Hedgehogs to have own Parliament

In a largely anticipated announcement, hedgehogs have voted almost unanimously to form their own Parliament. The hedgehogs intend to model their parliament on the Isle of Man "Tynwald" system, which is over 1,000 years old, shunning more modern pa...

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Funny story: Second Tory MP busted in House of Commons raid

Second Tory MP busted in House of Commons raid

London - (Damian 'The Omen' Green Mess): Shrewsbury and Atcham MP Daniel Kawczynski was seen foaming at the mouth tonight after police officers marched into his House of Commons orifice and removed a constituent's letter filled with 'unidentified po...

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Funny story: Government buys Everything

Government buys Everything

In a surprise move today the government announced that it will issue compulsory purchase orders for every house and plot of land in the country. The government regards this as simply an expansion of its Heathrow Airport purchase plans. A spokesp...

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Funny story: Minister claims "2,000 Poles a Day" coming to UK

Minister claims "2,000 Poles a Day" coming to UK

In a stirring speech before the Commons Select Commitee, Tory MP Sir Toby Toff claimed that as many as 2,000 poles a day were entering the UK. The poles, primarily used in the telecommunications industry, but also for scaffolding and other building w...

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Funny story: Government to record database of ice-cream van tunes

Government to record database of ice-cream van tunes

The British Government, in a 30-million pound initiative, is to make a database of ice-cream van music. Department of Eurofun spokesman Eric Tie, speaking outside the Department's new 16-storey office on Millbank, said that he was glad the Govern...

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Funny story: Foreign secretary, Lady Mildred Bland Delares War on Blair-Bush Terror Tactics

Foreign secretary, Lady Mildred Bland Delares War on Blair-Bush Terror Tactics

Lady Mildred Bland, British Foreign Secretary,has revealed her battle plans for the dismantling of the Blair-Bush terrorist anti-terrorism. Lady B, very late in the game and very confident of her liason with the new American president has launche...

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Funny story: Displaying total political naivete with his stupid remarks, David Miliband confesses to his Indian hosts: "I'm just a useless, ignorant British politician who doesn't know his arse from a hole in the ground"

Displaying total political naivete with his stupid remarks, David Miliband confesses to his Indian hosts: "I'm just a useless, ignorant British politician who doesn't know his arse from a hole in the ground"

In the worst political faux pas that a PM-in-waiting can make UK foreign secretary David Miliband told an Indian TV channel that the Mumbai attack perpetrators "should be tried in that country so that the Pakistani judicial system (sic)takes its cour...

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Funny story: Cameron Calls for Commons Reform

Cameron Calls for Commons Reform

In an unprecedented statement, Opposition Leader David Cameron has described the workings of the House of Commons as "archaic" and called for urgent reform. Addressing the Batley Townswomens' Guild, Mr Cameron said that in these difficult times, i...

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Funny story: Government to tax foreign people living abroad

Government to tax foreign people living abroad

The Government today announced a measure to get money flowing into the economy that doesn't involve more motoring stealth taxes. From tomorrow, any foreigners living abroad will be subject to a non-domiciliary tax at a rate of 1.5%. The Chancellor...

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Funny story: Brown: Crisis What Crisis?

Brown: Crisis What Crisis?

Echoing doomed 70's Labour prime minister James Callaghan, Gordon Brown today said, 'Crisis What Crisis?' This was in answer to questions about the doomed economy, increasing job losses and the theory about man made global warming being shattered...

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Funny story: Politics. Cameron Out, Thatcher Poised for Comeback

Politics. Cameron Out, Thatcher Poised for Comeback

The world of politics was shaken to it's foundations today, when David Cameron announced that he plans to step aside in 2010 to enable the return of Margaret Thatcher. At 83, all but her most insane supporters would not have contemplated such a co...

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Funny story: Government to bail out struggling drug dealers

Government to bail out struggling drug dealers

Struggling drug dealers have been promised huge amounts of taxpayers money by the government in a deal designed to save their ailing businesses. A government spokesperson stated that the collapse of the industry is a result of previously wealthy b...

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Funny story: Government terror plan leaked

Government terror plan leaked

Prime minister Gordon Brown is facing calls for his resignation after yet another embarrassing leak showed just how desperate he is to cling to power. According to the documents, Brown was planning an operation codenamed "Operation Asian flu" in w...

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