THE SH*T SONG (Sing to in whatever melody you like, in whatever key you like, as often as you like) The world is your oyster The world is your cake It's your place to roister that it's all there for you to take. You've learned a secret philosophy used the world over by politicos, priests and cops if you want to stay on top you can throw away philanthropy. There's a tool of control th...
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift sat in her $1.2 million touring bus painting her toenails when she was asked by her bass guitarist how things were going between her and her beau Jake "The Snake" Gyllenhall. Taylor quickly corrected him by saying that Jak...
In this country we pride ourselves on being a technologically advanced nation. Sure, we may not be in the league of Japan or the USA but we are definitely no slouches. That is why a recent survey by electronic games retailer E-Games has come as suc...
BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - Peter White, 26, is one of the very few people to listen to his Christmas songs after Christmas (at time of writing). His MP3 player, a SanDisk Sansa Fuze V2.0 8GB with a 32GB microSD card, has over 20,000 tracks, 400 of which a...
LOS ANGELES - Demi Lovato spoke at an impromptu news conference in the recreation room of The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic where she has been confined since the unfortunate Jonas Brothers Concert Tour ending incident. Lovato, sat at a wooden...
(Chicago, IL - December 15, 2010)… The music world received disappointing news today as industry sources have reported that a rumored collaboration between Grammy Winning R&B Mega-Star R. Kelly and Pop music's favorite up-and-coming celbri-fetus,...
LONDON - According to the UK Top 40, 4'33", a cover of Cage's most famous work, reached No. 1 in the singles chart. This was the first time illegal downloads were counted, leaving Four-Thirty-Three with over 500,000 copies sold or 'borrowed', with...
X-Factor stars Matt Cardle and Olly Murs were sensationally turned down as headliners for a Christmas gig at the internationally renowned Oasis Bar And Grill in London. Entertainment Director of the OB&G, PM Wortham, admitted that owing to the...
The nation's music fanatics can't get enough of 2010 X Factor Winner, the casually-rumpled squeaking nincompoop Matt Cardle, writes Esmerelda Bell, Artificially-Induced Tousling and Hunched Anaemic Unshaven Slimey-Arsed Karaoke Correspondent for Toss...
Fans of N-Dubz are coming to terms with the news that Fazer, Tulisa and Dappy will be releasing an album of Queen covers in time for Christmas. It has been reported widely that fans of the group are unaware who the actual Queen is, let alone the...
LOS ANGELES - The woman who had her husband stolen by LeAnn Rimes has stated that the hubby thief's latest song titled "Crazy Women" is an insult to all women. Brandi Glanville, a good-looking, long-haired, long-legged, bosomy blonde said that Rim...
I'm Rolling My Balls in Sugar I'm rolling my balls in sugar The perfect Christmas gift To send to all my lovely friends It gives them quite a lift I soak them in a bit of rum And dry them overnight Then roll in sugar and wrap them, To make them taste just right. My balls are always the right size To pop right in your mouth Just make sure you don't eat them all Or you could end up...
Johnny Cash historians have discovered a previously unknown Cash ballad amongst his files that might be his next posthumous hit. It appears to be a rewrite of his big '60's hit "A Boy Named Sue" that is a tribute to movie star John Wayne. Wayne's name at birth was actually Marion, normally a woman's name, which supposed caused him grief with his classmates in school. Cash seemingly saw the similar...
Orlando, Fl. - The Orlando Sun published news today that 26 internet gurus will begin recording a Christmas Album just in time for the holidays. Ima Scamm, the Secretary and Publicist for "The Syndicate", the name of their newly created choral gro...
Italian wildchild and wantaway Man Cty ace Mario Balotelli, has controversial plans to wear a tribute to late rapper Tupac Shakur on his Manchester City kits. Balotelli is understood to be a massive of the ganagster scene and it is well known that...
Hollywood - Michael Jackson's new album is going to have a cover of Pink Floyd's song "Money" on it. The news isn't much of a shock for people that were close to Michael, and new that he was obsessed with Pink Floyd. "I can remember how my br...
LONDON - Liz McClarnon, former member of the Atomic Kitten, appeared in Look Much Closer Magazine and showcased her brand new slender look. McClarnon said that she went from a size 10 to a size 4 in four short weeks. She said that the secret was t...
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